AH! I'm at a loss i must say. I understand this is a dating site but it offers an option to search for friendships as well? What I was wondering is, is it truly so crazy to NOT want to be impressed with flirting and flattery, rather just have someone get comfortable and be a genuine friend?
I find that all the flirting and flattery soon comes to an end. Genuine friendships last much longer than sweet words meant to lure someone in. I'd rather see someone's quirks, their flaws, what makes them funny, what makes them a lover of God, not just 'here is a resume of only the good parts about me!'. Ah..i guess I don't see that as very realistic.. heh
So, is it too crazy to hope to find genuine bonds of friendship on this dating site? ^____^ Heh (Any advice on how to meet and make Godly friends would be very much appreciated! ^.^)
I don't know. I think it's best for me to just see how I can glorify God no matter where I'm at or where I'm typing. I am not certain if that will result in a friendship or relationship but it doesn't really matter as long as I'm glorifying Him. It kind of saves me from all the weird stuff if that makes sense.
" is it truly so crazy to NOT want to be impressed with flirting and flattery, rather just have someone get comfortable and be a genuine friend?"
I think, all flirting and flattry, as you said, starts with being friends first. So, if you are just looking for a friend, then it means you are looking for a friend only. And once you have found a friend, you stop there. On the other hand, if you are looking for a "marriage partner," then you become friends but you are open for more, depending on the individual, whether you like each other or not. But some people are only looking for friends and have no intention to be or do anything more. I think, it is very much up to personal interpretation. Some people may be scared when they see that X person wants a relationship. They think that's too open, too honest (LOL), and so they claim on their profile that they are looking for just a friend or "email buddy." :) There's nothing wrong with that.
Since this is a dating site, I think, we all are here to find a marriage partner. But some of us prefer to put it this way and some put it that way. Some people are more straightforward or open or honest about it. How you put it on your profile really makes no difference at all, I think. But all relationships should start with a friendship, I think. You become friends, then close friends, then best friends, and maybe lovers at some point.
In the world we live in today, we do things by flattering one another; quite sad but that is the truth. The value and virtue of truthfulness and honesty has been eroded by fantasy, and people think that is the way to be.
Have you ever wondered why the make-up industry has been blooming and will ever be? It's because of the world of flattery we live in.
If you log on to facebook, and post a picture of yours, or any lady, what do you think will happen? People will start invoking flattery words to hype and amplify the figure seen on the picture, yet leaving behind the personality of the person in the picture. No wonder the Scripture says
'beauty is deceptive, but a woman with honor shall be praise' (my paraphrase though). That is why dating sites have not been able to record much success as it should have, because people tend to get disappointed at the end, when the flirtatious and flattered nature has worn out, and the real nature has set in.
I don't know if it has happened to you, or you have discovered it, but I have happened to see that we bond with people that we started off with on a no-so-good note/level, because there is nothing to flatter in each other, if not what should even put one off the other, but sometimes, it just happens like that.
Building friendship is not easy any longer in our present age. You might want to ask me if it is not easy in the world, it should be in the church. But I am afraid, the church is defining her standards too by the dictates of the world, putting behind the Lordship of Christ and holding on to that which is quick, easy but unreal.
How do we build a friendship? We build a friendship based on the inner nature of ourselves, i.e. our value, character, passion, and ultimately, our spirituality. There is a saying in my country that says "Show me your friend, and I will tell you who you are" but I long disagreed with that statement. I told my friend that it is the other way round, which is "show me yourself, and I will tell you whom your friends will be." That was why Jesus used the example of little children in some of his teachings while on earth. Little children bond with other children due to their interests and passion, and thus attract their likes, just like birds will always flock together.
A lion that hasn't seen a lion in himself will surely align with a cat or goat at the end. If you make a lion live amidst goats, I bet you it will not see itself as a lion because it had been bred amidst goats and not a lion, and will run away from a lion whenever such comes attacking a flock of goats.
Friendship built on value and virtue is one that stands the test of time, it's like building on a rock, while that based on flattery or flirtatious tendencies can last, but for a short time. Check the stats of relationship break-ups in our age compared to ages past.
