Author	Thread: Minding Your Own Business
Admin	Minding Your Own Business Posted : 18 Mar, 2014 11:06 PM I just had an epiphany that I would like to share with the rest of my Christian brothers and sisters on here. I'm putting this in the Guys' section though because of this particular facet that we are expected to be the ones who pursue and initiate. I think it's also a great thing for the women to know too, however. Who knows, maybe it would encourage some of the ladies to pursue and successfully get what they want. Anyway, as a frequent pursuer/initiator it often feels similar to applying to a job or company. Where "they" are the deciders, thus having all the power. From there it can all too easily lead to being seen as too needy and desperate, which as we all know is an express lane to being rejected. It doesn't have to be like that however. The epiphany occurred when I read that the best way to get some one interested in you is to flip the script and begin making them the ones to qualify themselves to you. Suddenly a flood of parallels between finding a partner in romance and one in the business world became evident. I realized I'm not just some poor sap who is applying to work for whatever lousy job I can get. I'm a recruiter looking for people who I think would maybe be a good fit to work with. So, as a recruiter, how would I convince people to come work for me? The answer is found in another question, which is What kind of companies does everybody want to work for and why? and What do these companies do to appear more attractive? And then I realized it's as if I am the "company" I'm trying to recruit people to come work for. Not only that, I am in complete control of creating whatever image, values, culture, philosophy, policies, environment, etc. for it that I want according to my virtues. From there, I started to see how all those things can be used to influence people to join "Team Brandon", what the purpose of those things are, and how they work and fit together. It also got me thinking about what my culture, philosophy, image, values, goals, etc. are. What would it be like to work for me? I love this perspective because it helps me realize how I genuinely can be more appealing to others, while still being true to myself. It helps me be more self-assured and self-aware, which are the express lane to being accepted. Also, I think it's worth pointing out that for the sake of simplicity, I explained this from how you the individual would see it (as an employer looking for an employee). However, as a whole, if everyone is their own company then it would be more accurate to say that this is more like a merger. Also, I haven't field tested this yet, so for now it's just another theory that may or may not work in reality. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Minding Your Own Business Posted : 20 Mar, 2014 06:25 AM Well, I can confirm your point of view using a real-life version of your metaphor! After getting out of school and entering the job market, I was pretty passive in both relationship and business. Zero success in love, minor success in employment. I was let go from my first real job in IT, and then took some time to figure things out, took some minor construction/painting jobs, and eventually decided to start my own business. I was still "passive", but the requirements of being self-employed really led me to start to be more assertive and open, convincing people that they should do business with me is exactly what started opening doors everywhere else. When I interviewed for my current job, I had no degree, no official experience, but the things I learned from running my own business is exactly what caught their attention. Learning to think for myself, learning to take initiative, learning to cement business relationships and offer good business advice,you can apply those methods to everything. Self-confidence is also hugely important, but you have to earn it. You have to build yourself into a confident person. Don't settle for empty arrogance, people can see thru that a mile away. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Minding Your Own Business Posted : 20 Mar, 2014 08:23 PM I like "frequent pursuer"! I think you are hitting the nail on the head. I've been self employed three times. Still am part time. I learned a long time ago that I was hiring an employer. I think you are thinking in the right direction. It isn't easy to be the pursuer. It's a lot easier to be the lperson that knows how to bring someone along side. Here's another thought. I saw a video once about human behavior that had a short story about followers. If one person starts doing something, like jumping up and down for no reason in the park, and one person joins them then more people will join in until it becomes something you have to do and lots of people are jumping for no reason but they are enjoying it! Interestingly enough, the people who are joining in are not following the leader. They are following the first follower. If you want to bring someone into a relationship with you then you have to be following someone or something that is obvious, appealing and intriguing to them. On this sight everyone really is, or claims to be, following Jesus so that can't be the thing or person you are following. Here, your profile has to contain the thing or person you are following that will cause the reader to want to follow you. So you can't just talk about yourself. You have to talk about the thing you are following: your interests, your ideas, your dreams, goals, things that will be found intriguing. I had one woman tell me that the reason she was interested in me is because my profile says that I make it a point to be uncommon. She wanted to join with a person that follows being uncommon. We met and we are friends now! Post Reply
View Profile History	Minding Your Own Business Posted : 21 Mar, 2014 03:41 AM I've seen that video before and I love it (Tedtalks "How to start a movement")! Even though I think about that one a lot, I never thought about it like that before or in that way in relation to this. I like it. Post Reply
View Profile History	Minding Your Own Business Posted : 22 Mar, 2014 02:35 PM What I'm finding I love so much about this perspective is feeling like talent is everywhere just waiting to be discovered. Post Reply