Author	Thread: Question my brothers.......
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Question my brothers....... Posted : 13 Mar, 2014 05:15 PM .....using myself as a true example....say if after coming across my profile, viewing it a few times becoming fairly aware of what I'm aspiring for in finding my life partner, where I reside and such, that you finally send an email. After mutually conversing for awhile, where there was relative enough interest, you decide that after some thought, where I reside would eventually be a problem to maintain a relationship. Now my question is could this entire episode have been avoided if when viewing my profile, seeing where I reside not being realistic in proximity to where you reside, to just simply not reach out at all? Now trust me fellows, there's no hard feelings about this at all. I truly wish this brother the best in finding his life mate. My question is just simply......why? Post Reply
Matthew75 View Profile History	Question my brothers....... Posted : 13 Mar, 2014 05:40 PM Sometimes a good friendship is enough...even if just online. While romantic relationships may not be possible due to respective locations, I don't think there is any harm is reaching out to someone you find interesting or compatible with to be friends with. Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Question my brothers....... Posted : 13 Mar, 2014 06:14 PM Well you see my brother, the comment you made was up front and honest, which is very much needed in this journey most of us are on! If ONLY friendship was what we BOTH were looking for, I'd understand! I believe we both were looking for the same thing......a long term relationship. Let's just say, in my profile I make it loud and clear that friendship is certainly a must, but a life partner is my ultimate goal! Post Reply
View Profile History	Question my brothers....... Posted : 15 Mar, 2014 08:34 PM In the past I have done the exact same thing you just described. But I think, you should understand that people can change their mind. I changed my mind. At first, I thought that distance doesn't matter. And then I changed my mind. Why? There were other factors. I discovered things that made her look less appealing. Remember, as long as two people are not in love with each other, they can "dump" each other easily over small things. Once people are in love, they don't just change their mind from one day to the next. Post Reply
View Profile History	Question my brothers....... Posted : 16 Mar, 2014 12:28 AM Some people may not read your profile (they may just look at your picture ...) before contacting you. I suggest you ask people to read your profile then let you know if you are what they are looking for (so far) before wasting much time. Post Reply
View Profile History	Question my brothers....... Posted : 16 Mar, 2014 06:26 AM I do not know. I think location is an issue but it can be overcome if it is God's will. I think though that sometimes there are other issues that come up as you converse that may be red flags or issues or whatever you want to call them. It is possible that I can move but I am still hoping to work it out where I live for my kids sake. I contacted one person that said they wouldn't move in their profile thinking maybe God will work it out for me to be able to move there. After receiving a couple of emails I became concerned about A) how short the person had been a Christian, B) their commitment to Christ through somethings I want to not be specific about to protect them, and C) the bluntness of her emails. So, it never got to a point of friendship, commitment, etc. but if it had I may have said location was an issue just to try and not hurt her. I am sorry you got hurt by that man, but I think it is good to be grateful that he thought enough of you to be vulnerable and reach out to you initially. If you want to work it out with him maybe ask him if there are any other issues and maybe they can be overcome with some deep and honest conversation? I enjoy reading your posts as I think you are a very encouraging person. God bless you in your search. Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Question my brothers....... Posted : 16 Mar, 2014 01:07 PM My dear brothers in Christ......first thank you so much for your transparent and upfront responses(smile)! I need to also say that I am grateful that whatever the reason was this brother decided to do what was done, that it was done way before there were "feelings" between us(whew!!)......which brings me, alive774 to my response to your posted feedback. Alive774, I agree wholeheartedly with your candid take on why a brother could or would "change his mind" in pursuing a sister mid-stream in their getting to know one another. We all do have that right and when engaging a potential mate online....well I guess we are, so to speak, putting all our proverbial "cards" on the table. Anything can trigger a "ummmm I don't think this person will qualify as a life mate for me" thought(smile)!!!! So is the world of online dating! Luover, thank you for the suggestion! I will most certainly incorporate a clause in my profile that states specifically for brothers to read it carefully before deciding to send a note. You are absolutely right.....I'm not here to waste anyone's time and I'm certainly not here for folks to waste mine! Now last, but I most certainly hope by no means least(smile), mercifulpeace.........brother I too enjoy reading your posts! One who encourages, will also acknowledge those who too encourage! I had thought of your suggestion in reaching back out to this brother.....at this time I really don't think it will make a difference. Being that he reached out first and then made the decision he did, the ball to me, is now in his court(smile)! Trust me I'm open and will always be willing to discuss things.....be blessed and thanks again! Post Reply
View Profile History	Question my brothers....... Posted : 6 Apr, 2014 05:26 PM Uncompromising, but in the words of John - "They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us." If he walked away, then let him walk, don't follow after him. A man who dares to awaken a woman's love and then walks away is a cowardly fool. He's not worthy of you, and in all likelyhood, taking 1 John 2:19 into consideration, he may never have been a brother at all. My heart goes out to you. God bless. Post Reply