Author	Thread: Dating out of selflessness?
1jon310 View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 14 Dec, 2013 02:57 PM Guys please offer your opinions. Some of the parenting experts tell fathers that they should take their daughters out on dates so that their little girls will know how they should be treated when their daughters go out with boys. This way if their daughters are treated poorly by someone else they will recognize it and tell him to go away. So... As most women have not been raised by such a father... Do you feel that you (we) have an opportunity to treat our sisters in Christ in such a way that our sisters will no longer settle for being treated as less then daughters of the king? If we do this then what can we learn from it, even if we are not romantically attracted to them or them to us? r Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 15 Dec, 2013 10:13 AM There is no need for a father to take her daughter on a date so as to be able to showcase the kind of treatment she should get when taken on a date. Rather doing that, he should show forth love in the home to his wife and the children altogether. We cannot give what we don't have. Most of our fathers have been much more concerned with economic or financial activities (though it is very essential) more than having the time to showcase the kind of exemplary love lifestyle to their children at home. In my own opinion, daddies should make their daughters their best friends and mums their sons as their best friends so that they can learn what it takes to relate with other person. Post Reply
dunravin View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 15 Dec, 2013 09:15 PM dating out of selflessness...a complete contradiction in terms. There is no such thing. Dating is only dating if the needs of the one are met by the offerings of the other and if the two happen to become one so much better. Dating is only self interest. The truth is that people date because they want something. End of story...little girls and little boys becoming best friends with their parents...total hogwash. Parents have a sacred trust to protect their children and set them on a path to righteousness, set in stone by a jealous God. Best friends. No ... fathers dating daughters...no... mothers dating sons...no... Dating is a precursor to the development of an intimate relationship and a covenantal relationship... Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 16 Dec, 2013 12:22 AM ***Though I know this was on the "Ask A Guy" thread, please forgive the input.....I couldn't help myself(smile)! @dr.....I have to agree with most of your response. First I have to say that growing up, I personally had relationships with individuals who had "friendships" with their parents........DISASTER! These individuals lined up having big problems with their behavior and in their personal relationships. The discipline and structure they needed from their parents was just not there! What made things worst was that they eventually became very disrespectful, dishonoring the role given to their parents by The Lord. Now as for "dating out of selflessness", as 1jon310 stated, many women, at least from my generation, didn't have fathers who did the whole "dating with their daughter thing"! When I wanted to date a guy growing up and I bought him home to meet my parents, I was either allowed to go out with him or not......it was just that simple back then(smile)lol!! Especially if my father didn't like him.....my mother, well she was not as intense:rolleyes:!! Post Reply
sisygirl View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 16 Dec, 2013 01:38 AM Hello Joy! Thought you on holiday and won't be partaking in the forum Glad you still around dear sis Its always great hearing from you, I missed you John i'm sorry for deviating for the asked question, only wanted to greet Joy. Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 16 Dec, 2013 06:56 PM All right I see that the concept is missed here. Dating your daughter has nothing to do with romance. It entails taking out your little girl and treating her as a lady while conducting yourself as a gentleman. Opening doors, pulling out her chair, spoiling her, focusing your attention upon her only. Showing her the respect that women deserve to be shown. This way when she goes out on real dates she will have something to measure her suitors against. She will then be able to recognize the shallow, misogynists, the users and posers before she is hurt by them. She should see you treating her mother this way as well but her mother may not be around for some reason. Most girls fall for guys who are representatives of their father. Why not set the bar high. This is NOT about being their "friend." My children have all done things that make me proud of them. My oldest daughter while living with her mother was allowed to go out on a date. The boy tried to take a kiss and she slapped him. While slapping him is debatably appropriate I was proud of her for not allowing him to take from her what she did not want to give. So the real question was and is.... Do we as men of God take a woman out and treat her with such care and respect that even if that relationship does not work out; we will have set the bar so high that she will not accept the interest of the average jerk that just wants to use her for his own desires? Or do we just continue the legacy of men treating women as doormats? So what do you think? r Post Reply
dunravin View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 16 Dec, 2013 11:25 PM Whilst I respect the context of the concern and the context of father daughter relationships, I do think that setting yourself, as daddy perfect, is fraught with even more perilous constructs than not doing so... If you have taught your children well, in a Biblical manner then sit back and let her make the decisions not based on the perfect gentleman or the perfect daddy, admirable though such constructs are, but rather based on her own moral and ethical choices. You simply cannot protect her from everything and everyone who comes along who may be less inclined to an ethical relationship. The very best you can do , in my opinion is to give her the tools to make good choices and set the bar not at your standard but rather at a place where the examples and teachings you have imparted are the standard for her to aspire to.From what you have written and the obvious joy you have in your daughter and the protective feelings you have for her you are a man to be respected and admired. Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 17 Dec, 2013 08:30 PM It is perplexing that the focus is on the parenting part of the question but yet the question itself does not receive an answer. Perhaps to look at this from another way. IF we are Christians and IF we believe that the Bible is God's authoritative word? Then why do we not approach dating and all of our relationships with the motive to build the other person up instead of finding out what we can take from the other person or what they can do to make our lives better? Why do we think that we can wait to display 1Cor.13 Love until we get married without practicing Agape Love with everybody? Jesus told us that the world would know that we are His by the way that we love one another. So why not "date" in a manner that will instill something of God into the other persons life. Or to put it another way... Jesus put more into every relationship then He ever received back. He told us that we would do the things that He had done.... So why do we not do this? I'm at a loss. r Post Reply
Deandra29 View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 18 Dec, 2013 04:56 PM I love your question, but I think by the replies you got...it was taken out of context......not gonna try to answer your question from a woman's point of view who grew up with my dad in the home. Try to only reply to the not so ignorant and naive answers you are receiving honey...i Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 20 Dec, 2013 06:23 PM Ok 1jon310........first forgive me for virtually "following the leader" and not looking at your original post from the perspective given. As a Christian who does want to "date" with all the Biblical truth made available and IF I had been raised by a father who took the time to enlighten me to how a man should treat me, publically and privately, but most importantly with the fear of God, I would probably still be married with a boat load of grandchildren to spoil:yay:!!! In essence, after reading your last response, I now understand the concept you were getting at and yet still my original post to your thread still applies. Simply because of the generation I was raised in, I have no other recourse! But I mainly wanted to say I do understand! Be blessed! Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating out of selflessness? Posted : 10 Jan, 2014 10:04 PM Do you feel that you (we) have an opportunity to treat our sisters in Christ in such a way that our sisters will no longer settle for being treated as less then daughters of the king? considering Jesus said," Follow Me!" then proceeded to get crucified. what kind or treatment are they expecting? Post Reply

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