Author	Thread: break up
kenaquin View Profile History	break up Posted : 12 Apr, 2009 04:37 AM well, I've been very curious about how guys cope with their broken hearts... because it seems its always been the women who were mostly affected. so guys how do you deal with break ups? Post Reply
View Profile History	break up Posted : 12 Apr, 2009 07:36 PM Excellent question. Thank you. Post Reply
View Profile History	break up Posted : 12 Apr, 2009 09:16 PM I was engaged last year to my first true love. She ended with only the reason that she wasn't ready to be tied down yet. It ended 9 months ago and I just recently have been able to move on and let her go. I was crushed so ya it may not be all guys but at least for me it hurt very bad. Post Reply
View Profile History	break up Posted : 15 Apr, 2009 05:27 PM badly... Post Reply
View Profile History	break up Posted : 17 Apr, 2009 10:49 PM Typically I take a few days to rework my budget for all the money I�ll be saving from no longer courting, ha. And usually within two weeks I�ll use a couple sick days coupled to a weekend, take a small vacation (either the Rockies or the Desert) and admire God�s majesty. Post Reply
View Profile History	break up Posted : 19 Apr, 2009 10:54 PM Oh believe me breakups hurt men just as much as women. We just have been conditioned to hide it and NOT express it. I think from my own experience we treat breakups like an illness. You just try to think of a better future and work on feeling better until one day you feel well enough to try again. Men deal by repressing and let our pain out privately or maybe with a close friend. I think this inner turmoil is why so many men develop substance abuse issues temporarily after traumatic breakups. My first experience with this was when the woman I was going to marry left me for another man when I was 22. I spent a summer when I actually felt like I might not make it through. I deliberately scheduled when I would break down so I could do it privately. Outside of my family I doubt a lot of people knew what was happening other than physically I lost weight and was constantly tired. All this despite sleeping 12 to 14 hours a day just so I could stop thinking about her for a little while. So men escape and repress but we definitely are just as heartbroken however we also do everything in our power to hide that from the one who hurt us. Post Reply
cedarwoody View Profile History	break up Posted : 20 Apr, 2009 08:32 AM From my perspective, yes, breakups hurt! Divorces hurt! Separations hurt! My current separation, approaching 5 months now, HURTS! Despite strong Christian faith and beliefs on both of our sides this marriage seemed "doomed" from the start. So many issues on her side, going back to childhood, that seem to be impossible to, what should I say, make up for, if that's understandable. Despite knowing her for years through church, I had no idea of her past issues until we were married. One major situation, sexual molestation within her own family for years, and under the auspces of a mens' fellowship group at her parents church. And worse yet, somehow passed on, generationally to her daughters through marriage and relaitives. To the point of developing a type of "multiple personality" inside her to somehow deal with it all. 2 sides to our marriage developed through the past 7 yrs., one - absolutely wonderful and full, the other, fearful, detesting, and beyond. Ongoing counseling has helped some, on both of our sides but very slow going! To make a longer story short, YES IT HURTS!!! Any female experiences or takes on this? I'm at totally wits end here, and as much as I hate it, divorce seems inevitable. Post Reply
caddyde View Profile History	break up Posted : 3 May, 2009 07:42 PM They are really bad because we get saddled with the Guilt of Hurting the ones we love. My Last break up was to the one and Only Woman I have ever loved. It came without warning. Monday she looked me in the eyes, told me she loved me, with so much truth that I felt it to my core. Then Tuesday she called me and said it was over and she felt this way for two months. Well when I told her I was crushed she ended up working it around until I apologized for hurting her by telling her I was crushed. It still stings sometimes but I felt even worse knowing I caused her pain over how I took the news. I thank God I met her and I pray that she is happy and lives a long fruitful live in God, but it hurts deep sown in the pit of your stomach when you are in love that much and it is over in 30 seconds. Post Reply
kenaquin View Profile History	break up Posted : 10 May, 2009 04:01 AM Thank you for your honest answer i deeply appreciate the effort you've done, I know it's not easy to reminisce the things or the people that brought you pain, at least I've come to realize now that men too, have emotional struggle when it comes to dealing with break ups, it may be in a different form how they cope, but the hurt is just the same. But I do believe in this quote: "Although we may not always understand everything happens for a reason.." Same goes with relationships, if it didn't work out with both of you, then perhaps it's not really meant to be. Time is the best healer... So you can move on. Post Reply