Author	Thread: Your turn fellows.......
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 07:37 AM I just posted a question to the ladies regarding how they felt about being the first to reach out to you guys......my question to you gents is that ok? Are you cool with sisters messaging you first or would you prefer to be the "purser" (smile)? Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 09:35 AM HJMP If we are truly in Christ Jesus and therefore look to each other as brothers and sisters in Jesus then we are family reaching out to each other and it does not matter. If on the other hand we are looking for someone to defile, become our new idol, or complete us in a way that is reserved for Jesus only.... Then there are bigger problems. Those games would be better served on a different site. Don't you think? r Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 10:42 AM 1jon310, I agree wholeheartedly! Personally I have reached out to brothers here first, based on what I received reading their profiles. You are absolutely right....my intentions has always been to express interest, first and foremost, in my messaging as a child of God! Reaching out, prayerfully as well, to a brother in Christ! Post Reply
1stgen_mr2 View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 12:04 PM While I can't speak for anyone but me, I see no problem with the lady being first. I know I've passed up more than a few because I felt she was out of my league. Just because the lady doesn't feel out of someones league, doesn't mean we agree. I know my reaction to getting an email from CDFF stating that I just received a wink would be "COOL!!!!". :rocknroll::applause: Post Reply
dunravin View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 01:26 PM Tradition dictates that men make the first move. However we create our own myths and traditions and now that some obscure equality seems to be the norm, it is more than acceptable that women address the issue and be the initiators. Men look at profiles and women look at profiles. If a woman likes a profile and sees something there that appeals to them I would suggest that most men would be quite pleased that they have been seen to be mate/spouse/friend/husband material. Men and women are not unalike when they are chosen. Post Reply
View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 05:23 PM I'd have no problem with a woman initiating contact whatsoever. If the guy doesn't reply, then it's because he doesn't like the sender, or questions her motives. It's got nothing to do with how being pursued makes him feel less masculine or isn't biblical. Truth be told, I hate pursuing and approaching a lot, but I do it anyway because if I don't nothing is going to happen or change. Post Reply
CuriousGeorge View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 05:57 PM Ladies always wonder if it's ok to initiate contact. I don't get it. Does a guy doesn't like that even exist? Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 06:02 PM R8E8, you'd probably be surprised that there are men who do feel "less masculine" about this whole issue! And biblically speaking, I know a few gents personally who feel traditionally as men of God, they're responsible to initiate contact with a women first......ummmmm go figure huh!! Post Reply
One_Sojourner View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 06:11 PM I agree with all the comments here... there should be no issue with a woman expressing her interest to a man's profile if he's given some thought in writing and shared something of himself. The thing that leaves me wondering is when a woman expresses interest in being friends, chats 1 or 2 times and things seem to go good, then she quits writing back...? I'm not a multi tasking sort of guy so if I have an interest it's pretty much with the one person who I am speaking with and I will give some clue that I'm not interested or that I am by continuing communication with her.... is it this way for women, or are the options open more or less and just playing the field, testing the waters I wonder? One thing for sure is that I'm a:dunce: when it comes to women! lol Post Reply
View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 06:25 PM One_Sojourner, Yours is the only reply I've read here so far (because I came here from your profile). If I'm understanding you correctly, I think it may be that some women are "playing the field" as you suggest. However, unless a woman specifically says that she is only talking or communicating with you and no other man... she most likely is talking or communicating with lots of people. For one thing, that's what we like to do... talk! lol Don't know if I'm even making sense, but I felt like writing a response. :waving: Post Reply
View Profile History	Your turn fellows....... Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 06:51 PM I would like to hear from a guy who thinks it would make him feel less masculine if a woman he likes approaches him to explain how and why exactly he thinks this because I'm just not seeing how. If a woman approaching them makes them feel less masculine, then what in the world does being rejected by a woman make them feel? Do you think Bon Jovi feels less masculine when women throw themselves at him? Are these things you read online or from guys you've met irl? Please don't mistake my criticism of this idea as a personal attack. I'm just not a fan of this notion a lot of women seem to have that "If I contact him, then he'll feel less masculine and not be attracted to me anymore." (and even if that were true, why would you even want to be with some one like that then?) For instance if there was a girl on here I had a crush on and hadn't written yet for whatever reason, it's not like that would all just suddenly be undone or reversed because she wrote me first. I think this notion just serves as a way to protect one's self esteem when some one doesn't write back or to rationalize not taking a chance and putting one's self out there and being vulnerable. As to the biblical basis, I think that's spotty reasoning too from how I've heard people explain it; I mean does God ever really give a commandment that this is how it should be, or is it just an acknowledgement and sort of an explanation as to why it's just natural and typical for most men in general to pursue and initiate. Also, I don't think initiation is the same as pursuing, it's just an attention getter. Pursuit is what you do with that afterward. I'm glad we're talking about this though because it is something I've been interested in and look forward to understanding better and learning more about. These are just my thoughts and my perspective. Post Reply

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