My friendship can I ask you these 3questions please:
Since the two of us are currently in our season of 'ALONENESS' your feedback could really be helpful to me.
Please answer the first question in your own way according to your personal experiences, you don't have to consult your dictionary hey, i'm more interested in your experience. Don't worry if you think you've answered wrong dear.... It matters not as long as its according to how you experience, its fine with me if you're right or wring.
First question is: Is there a difference between being 'ALONE' and 'LONELINESS'? If there is please dear kindly share your idea of differences between the two. NB Your personal idea please.... Not the dictionary one.
2 (this one depends on how you've answered the first question) Keep in mind please its not a question of being right or wrong, rather more of how you experience these things.
The 2nd question is: When you're in your 'quiet time' so to say (time reseaved to be alone) does your innermost being feel chaotic maybe in a sense of having disappointments running through your mind, unresolved issues with friends, workmates, family etc. Questions on how to handle current struggles... Could be with school, workload, church responsibilities if you've commited yourself in some activities? Does it ever feel this chaotic when you're in your 'quiet time'?
3rd question (your answer again friendship will be dependent on how you've answer the previous question)
The question is: Do you ever master your strategy of calming all these emotions down to a point of hearing God's voice not through reading scripture, But actually hearing that soft voice you would have missed if you would have failed to bring yourself together in total silent?
Think these are too many questions to answer all at once..... Maybe you didn't even take much note of them if at all you do go through these.... You don't have to write back right away dear, you're welcome to take as much time especially if you didn't observe if you do experience these. Just as long as you give your honest feedback, could learn something from it.
Don't you worry your pretty little head Sisi, I wouldn't leave ya hangin'. I can only do the first one for now but will get the next two later on today. I love these questions though, they're really great.
So, yeah I do think there's quite a big difference between being lonely and being alone. Simply put, being alone is your status, and lonely is how you feel about that. In the last post I put up ("Another good thing you can do" under the Advice on Love and Dating thread) I talk a lot about this and how and why we should enjoy being single. I recommend you go there and check it out to completely answer this question. Sometimes I do get lonely and when I do I find it best to spend time in God's presence to be reminded the he knows what's best, is in control, cares, and is there for me when I am lonely. It does a lot to keep a good attitude and stay positive. If you have those two things right, then everything will be ok and you have a better chance of not being lonely to boot.
Anyway, that's what I think about that. Hopefully you didn't find it too wordy or dictionary. Looking forward to answering the other two later. Peace my sister :)
#2: Sometimes it can feel a little chaotic and it can be harder to let go of the chaos and only focus on God, but the incentive I have is the more I focus on God both in the long term and in the short term, the less chaotic things get. I have noticed that I can trust him to give me exactly what I need to get through the chaos and overcome the challenges and difficulties I face. Reading my Bible really helps too, particularly the Gospels and how Jesus interacts with and helps the regular people in exactly the way they need it's very inspiring and informative to me that what he did for them he will do for me too if I just focus on trusting and glorifying him. It's like the chaos is darkness that fades away the more I open up to God's light.
Sometimes, it isn't really dependent on whether I'm in quiet time I don't think. Recently I received some really troubling news that just made me so angry and overwhelmed I went out and did something I regretted and afterwards I could definitely hear of feel God saying "You know, instead of handling it like that this upsetting news could've been a great opportunity to learn to trust me more." I think you can be on the move and going about your daily business and still be able to hear/feel his direction as long as we're open and listening.
Your post about singlehood is loaded with insight and depth
I loved your last sentance as closing your post, "Singleness is what you make of it, so make it good"
I'm writting to your first reply about 'aloneness and loneliness'
Its as if you were there yesterday when I was asked 21questions why at the age of 29 am i still single with no child yet? Do I know that the older I get means less chances of concieving? Do I know of the complications of late pregnancy and the hardship when giving birth? Do I know that now i'm standing a chance of marrying a devorcee? Do I know that the age gap between me and my kids will cause us not to relate in a lot of ways than I can think? Don't I think there's a problem with me maybe? What if my season has passed me by (which does worry me at times though i'm not really bothered by it) What happened to the guy that I met online and had a date with? Wasn't he cute enough? Wasn't he intelligent enough? Didn't he meet any of my requiments? Couldn't I negotiate, cause they loved him.... He's very hot? Yah yah yah now they can see that I have a problem, i'm difficult to be please. This attitude will get me no where but single and lonely.
Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh Renov my workmates were sooooooooooooooo on my case yesterday, both ladies and guys anyone who saw him had something to say in blaming me. Not a single soul asked me how did it go? How did I feel? Do we relate since people are more charming online but different in real dating?
I was just at fault one way or the other... Hard to be pleased, so yah I do relate when talking about pressure from friends as if something is wrong with you. And i'm not seaching yet friend, have a lot to deal with. That I made clear though I won't open up like I did in this site..... I'm ok now, can't be announcing to evryone. I spoke knowing very well that such issues are not spoken off. I wanted to put real issued on the table for just once for us to talk about, instead of qoating verses pretending all is well in the body of Christ.
I've taken too long to write back to you on your 2nd reply. I've been very busy the last few days, though you've always been in my mind that I should right back to you.
I do not take forgranted Renov
Your time taken in reading and writting back to my questions to you. You have been a blessing I must say dear friend, there's always something I take with from your posts. Thank you so much for that, suppose that's what friendship is all about hey, uplifting each others' spirit.
The combination of your replies are great and very helpful to me. I've asked you and Teach the same question almost. I asked her in this way: "Why is there such conflict between the heart, mind and soul when one seeks to be still (quiet) before the loving God?"
Her reply was, if you don't mind me sharing with you:
"What causes chaos in our inner being is the conflict between flesh and spirit. While we are new creatures in Christ, we are still in the earthly body. We know what is right and wrong, and we try to do what is right before God only to have our former habits getting the best of us if one hasn't received deliverance on that spacific area of weakness."
And this is what you've said: "I have noticed that I can trust Him to get through the chaos and OVERCOME...."
That line alone speaks volumes in me as I kept pondering upon its depth. You carried on and say..."Its like the chaos is darkness that fades away the more I open up to God's light"
Renov you've been far helpful than you can ever know. Your replies are loaded if one meditates on them.
Just wanted to say real quick I'm so glad you found the replies helpful. I've been working like the devil the past few days too, but just wanted to check in real quick and touch base real quick and let you know I'll send a more legit reply when I can.
