Author	Thread: Fellas can you tell me........
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 25 Sep, 2013 08:15 PM ......does your list of "required must-haves" get longer, shorter or adjusted as you go thru the process of seeking out your life partner? Post Reply
View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 25 Sep, 2013 10:56 PM i think age would have something to do with it? the older You get the longer it would get,till You wise up,with old age,and realize,pulse,breathing,smile is a plus :D Post Reply
View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 26 Sep, 2013 05:05 AM For me it boiled down to one reality. Unity........can we walk together in unity? Everything esle beside that one thing lost any focus for me because unity is really all that matters anyway. I have met some good well meaning Ladies with a good faith but we could never walk together in unity. I have found one good woman I can walk together in unity and because of such we have and will walk together in harmony. Unity is the proving ground of any strong relationship and the abilty to find unity in the midst of dissagreement. To resolve conflict and remain unified. Unity all the way!!!! Post Reply
View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 26 Sep, 2013 11:53 AM Unity is certainly the requirement, but how do you get to that point (or the realisation it's never going to be)? Post Reply
View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 26 Sep, 2013 03:58 PM DKJ, I am not fully understanding your question for me. Can you rephrase please? Post Reply
View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 27 Sep, 2013 02:04 AM Somebody can feel so right at first but as you get to know them better you realise that there are differences serious enough to be a deal-breaker - thus you'd never likely be in unity with them. Of course, every couple, even those that are unified, will have some differences of opinion, but they'd have to be slight or of no real importance (e.g. favourite foods vs child discipline). So with that in mind, how far along in a relationship does it take before you realise that you aren't suited, or indeed to recognise the blessing God has sent your way? FWIW, I think this may be in part one reason for the high divorce rates: whilst riding the emotions of "being in love", you'd likely do anything for your partner including suppressing the parts of yourself they don't like and glossing over their traits that annoy you. But what when the emotion fades and you see each other as you really are - then what keeps you together? In Bible times, marriages occurred very young (certainly for the girls at least but boys also could marry from age 13) and at those young ages opinions and beliefs are very malleable such that they would mould around each other. It's certainly what I've seen in those who date whilst still in their teens including my 'foster son' who began dating at 15* and now they're both 20 it's as though they've always been together as they're very much in tune with each other's wants and feelings. As for myself, I'm very much older and more set in my ways, though of course I prefer the term "knowing what I want"! *Not saying I approve of this but he doesn't live with me, nor is he a believer. Post Reply
Lukia^ View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 27 Sep, 2013 04:13 AM Its true unity is very important,coz even when you fall out which is normal in relationships you can make up in unity. But i think for one to know that you can't get along in unity, it takes some time. I also believe as you grow older you can be able to make out that easily. Post Reply
View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 27 Sep, 2013 05:06 AM I up till recently even in preparing to be married was prepared that my feincee might not have been able to walk with me by faith in unity before our God together. Adam was called to lead Eve and he failed in doing so. We men have to lead and when our ladies have proven that they can walk with us through anything as we seek to follow Jesus then unity is proven out. I am taking a trip to India this December and God is leading me to lead us in faith concerning our marriage. My feincee has some resistance from family members. Her response to their resistance tells me if they have greater influence to her over where I can lead our lives. If so their are no hard feelings but I would have to take back my engagement. Thankfully and I had faith in her that they wouldnt have influenced her decision to not walk by faith with me out of their fears. We all have fears that prevent us to walk by faith but it is our work to work through them that we can believe God and follow His leadership. Our work and ability or lack of evidences our ability to trust God and follow His leadership this is the foundation of untiy in a christian marriage. The ability to resolve inner conflict. It is our inner conflict that disables us to walk in unity with anyone especially God. Whe you find a woman who is able to resolve her innerconflict then you have potential in walking in unity. Just keep walking brother and when a woman catchs up to you and walks with you for a good long period of time then you found a partner to walk with in unity. Par tof our respomsibility as men is this. Can we coach our ladies to walk with us even in their tormoil of emotions. When my Lady becomes discouraged I encourage her in God and build her faith by building her up and never breaking her down. We are called to honor our women and this means never deminishing them even in their craziness. When a man learns to lead his woman and empower her over the weakness of her emotion to walk by faith in confidence it is a beautiful thing. Our leadership to enable our ladies to trust God withus and walk by faith with us is our greatest challenge and greatest reward in marriage. Men fail in unity because they fail to understand how to encourage a womans heart and fail in finding a woman that they are sucessful in encouraging. Its not about convincing or manipulating as some might think. It is about speaking wisdom and truth in love and encouraging a womans heart and she automatically becomes peaceful and can walk foward with us. Hope this helps :glow: Post Reply
sisygirl View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 27 Sep, 2013 05:31 AM Wow Micheal Beautiful massage dear!! Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 27 Sep, 2013 12:07 PM I have pretty limited relationship experience, but my list of requirements is now extremely short. I still have a list of "preferences", but that is all it is, just "preferences". My requirements are much what like LTM is describing, and summarized, they add up to "we have to be able to walk in unity/tolerance/love". :peace::peace: Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	Fellas can you tell me........ Posted : 27 Sep, 2013 01:08 PM I so very, very much appreciate all the feed back, opinions and thoughtfulness everyone has put into this thread(smile)! What it's done for me is replenished my desire to continue in this journey......expecting that when The Lord brings that special someone into my life, with all of his and my experience, we'll be able to "unite" as LTM wonderfully put it, in making our relationship/marriage work.....by of course in and thru the leading of The Holy Spirit! Thank you all!!! Post Reply

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