What's the man's most fearful responsibility as a leader?
Posted : 6 Sep, 2013 03:49 AM
LTM
Friendship this question was inspired by your reply when answering Meelee1980 in a forum of a 'Brokenheart' about you guys being leaders & if a woman is not following, then she's not good for the guy if both parties are not good for one onother.
As thinking of this huge assignment a lady seaching for a mate has, (in ensuring that she finds a mate loyal enough to be entrusted with fruits of her womb, and her intire life basically)
I them wondered,
If a lady has such to bear in mind so she coperates in following peacefully her chosen husband,
What's the guy's most fearful responsibility once he finds a lady willing to follow him...?
When speaking about fruits of her womb, i'm not only focused on having babies,
I'm referring to a leader whose gonna father he's kids, not those who only bring kids forth.
Thank you friendship for your imput as always dear!!
What's the man's most fearful responsibility as a leader?
Posted : 7 Sep, 2013 10:23 PM
I don't know the specific answer to this question, but one thing I do know is after going through a multitude of scenarios and all the negative stereotypes of woman at her worst, I am very glad to be single.
What's the man's most fearful responsibility as a leader?
Posted : 8 Sep, 2013 01:22 AM
Thank you my brother for writing back!
One passage that i've really found helpful when seaching, is when Abraham's servent was sent to go seach a suitable mate for Isaac. (though I've never put this scripture into practice) still think it will really be helpful if God was to guide our steps like He did with the servant.
The servant had a heart to heart prayer with God, asking that he guides him to a right person. In my little mind, there were plenty beautiful girls there by the well, he could have easily missed Rebekah, but cause he was in agreement with God, he knew the signs to look for above the looks which matter to a certain point, but turn to be empty without brains.
Glad my brother that you're enjoying being single,
Its not such a bad experience after all, I've been single from 2004, have been going out with guys only to find they weigh below my requirements untill I eventually I had my interest more based on other things than seaching. Should however you consider to start seaching again,
Consider this passage by Abraham's servant when seaching through God's help. Don't let your agreement with God be heard or known by anyone else, keep that request in your heart so you not cheated by the evel one.
What's the man's most fearful responsibility as a leader?
Posted : 8 Sep, 2013 09:11 PM
Good ministering, Sisi. I take it to heart.
It's kinda weird, but I'm at the point where I genuinely don't care if women don't like me or reject me and even find rejection and disapproval semi entertaining. I also feel kind of good and relieved when I get rejected because I think of all the potential bad characteristics or flaws the woman I asked out might have that I wasn't aware of and would've had to deal with if she hadn't spared me, or that it's bad timing/situation for us, or that she really is amazing and I would just let her down. Either way, her rejection confirms to me that we would've been miserable together and a waste of time neither of us gets back. It doesn't make me feel like a loser either. If anything, I'm embarrassed for them. Like NBA fans are for the Blazers when they passed on drafting Michael Jordan and Kevin Durant. I don't mean to make it sound like I'm negative towards or down on all women, indeed not caring as much helps me see all of them for who they are and meet them where they're at and be more playful and jokey and better at listening and not so serious and cautious as I hold out and renovate myself for the few awesome ones who I connect with like the last woman I was in a relationship with until I messed it all up. No, I'm definitely not perfect either and like I said, don't mind biding my time to renovate myself for as long as it takes.
I think all of this signifies that I've just quit putting women on a pedestal and comparing them to unrealistic ideals. This might sound harsh, but I now think "Why assume every woman who rejects you is amazing and you missed out when that's usually not the case at all?"
What's the man's most fearful responsibility as a leader?
Posted : 8 Sep, 2013 09:17 PM
In regards to your second post:
I don't know. I wasn't there. :laugh:
I'm sure there's probably a historical custom of that time that you and I aren't aware of that made it possible for that to happen. It'd be interesting to find out.
What's the man's most fearful responsibility as a leader?
Posted : 9 Sep, 2013 03:18 AM
I've been rejected too many times that I just had to find a way to make it work for me. Lesson I've taken with is that:
Rejection is actually what you rejected one make it out to be. You either submit to it & feel sorry for yourself which will do you no good,
Or you take it positively & let it bring out the best in you.
When finding my current church I was under a lot of stress, hurt, rejection by family with lot of emotions boiling inside me. Anyone who would have embraced me during that time, I would have melted in he's/her arms. My spirit was hungry for that, and I could only find it in the church. But guess what...? All they saw in me was a treat. I couldn't even remain behind after church service so I can maybe make friends, body language & tension spoke volumes. I even rebuked myself thinking these people don't even know me, there's no way they don't like me it was all in my mind I assumed. Only to find that my sences were right, indeed the ladies especially don't like me.
Had I nourished that, i'd be wondering around every Sunday morning not knowing where to fellowship. Instead I took it positively & started looking good for church services like the one who went there to fish for a boyfriend. I took a compliment in that accusation.... And guess what friend, I feel great & walk tall when looking good. Depression started fading away also.
You'll be amazed that the ladies who reject you really liked you. On my early days in this site opposition, division, anguish etc
Were in maximum level. I was amazed what kind of a christian site in this? Michael was accused of changing he's profile too many times that he was misleading ladies here. I then wondered, if one dislikes him so much for whatever reason that I don't even wanna know, stuff that happened before I got here.... Why then do you keep scrutinizing he's profile knowing very well that he's gonna know as many times as you go through he's profile? That in me gave onother perspective that I won't say.
Few weeks ago he asked if there was anyone who desired him out of this site? I expected people to come out & tell him to go, no one did, only few individuals who had no problem with him here wanted him to stay.
See now where i'm going with rejection & body language?
"I think of all the potential bad characteristics or flows that woman I asked out might have that I wasn't aware of..." true that dear, though that's where tolerance & friendship takes place. Once I know that you my friend & desire what's best for me, I won't mind when you bring out my negatives on the table, cause its for a good reason. Maybe its gonna be a question of approach & attitude. That's why it matters for couple to start it as friends, it lays a good foundation for a relationship. If we can't address certain issues as a couple, our friendship backs us up, I talk to you as my friend then there's less offenses & more solutions.
Take rejection positively at times,
You'll be amazed at what you'll discover .
And hey those are beautiful pics on your profile,
You love coffee hey, it came up about 3times as reading through your profile story. :nahnah:
What's the man's most fearful responsibility as a leader?
Posted : 9 Sep, 2013 04:18 AM
What I percieve to be the greatest challenge is this. For a man to mannage his womans strongest emotions especially and including her anger and disapointment of him.
Most men have the tendency of fearing his womans wrath. Most men dont know how to respond to it so they react.
When a man embraces his womans anger and gives her power to exercise it agains him because he is confident and secure this gives his woman release.
I love my ladies strong emotions. We men tend to shut a woman down through our insecurities but we strong men open women up to greater possiblities of womaness if we give you lattitude to be all you can be, including very angry.
A womans strong emotion every part of them is a beautiful expression and their is no need to fear her.
Secondly is this, My feincee and I were talking about this. A secure man will draw out the beauty in his woman and a insecure man will reduce the beauty in his woman.
Here is the dynamic: when a woman become more beautiful she now becomes a target of other men to want and persue her but a illappealing woman is not one where other men would want and desire to perue after.
In building up a woman and her becoming a even more glorious vessele and man has to be secure enough that his woman will continue with him forever.
What men fail to realise that as we build up our ladies and they become more and more of who they desire to be we their dependency on us to speak positive words into their lives become the very security they desire and need. They will honor you by their beauty and security as being glorious vessles by your side.
Speaking positive words of affermation to your woman will only make her greater commited to you and not the opposite way around.
What's the man's most fearful responsibility as a leader?
Posted : 9 Sep, 2013 12:44 PM
Woooooooooooooooooow!!
Micheal maybe I should just say it friend,
I envy your wife, inasmuch as I love & whole heartedly support you guys. You're a charm beyond description. I don't know how many times did I read through your reply, and every time I do, I wondered if there were such guys out there, who are secure & confident enough that their ladies won't even consider the next guy simply cause she's led to her best always when with her man, even when angry. (not necessarily that we should nourish anger)
I've expected as much from your silence,
Think I know you by now that when you're taking longer to write back, you're coming with a bomb that will leave me amazed. Thank you dear one for finally writing back.
On the other forum about your personal story (which i'll make time to write back to you) you've asked a list of important questions that have been in my spirit, questions that trigured this very question about you guys being in leadership in families. I'm amazed that you've brought those questions forth, the Holly spirit must really be up to something that maybe he wants to address to us.
I'll only rewrite the important ones that got me thinking deep:
* How does a child learn to love when left alone to their selves? How does a child learn self control when they have no example?
* How does a child learn to control their anger when their example is anger?
* How does a child learn to communicate when communication is always hostile and in the form of yelling. Because a child is never heard and recognized?
* How does a child learn to treat his siblings when there's no one to refere to?
* How does a child learn to love & care for a spouse when they are to survive alone? How does a child learn to respect a spouse when there is the void of respect in a family?
* How does a child learn to respect parents when no respect is given to a child? (the apostle Paul addressed this one ahead when saying "parents don't provoke children so its possible for them to respect you too"
* How does a child learn to respect their self when they were never given any respect and show of value?
Maybe I too should never expect any form of love from my father cause he was never shown love in he's up bringin, then unfortunately manifested & delivered same energies of bitterness, abuse & anger and discrimination to he's family.
I'm carried away by this one:
"An insecure man fears his woman's anger & therefore reacts so she limits her self, while a secure man opens up his woman to greater possibilities of womanness by letting her be at her best without limits including when she's angry. A woman's strong emotion, every part of them is a beautiful expression and there is no need to fear her"
What's the worst can she possibly do anyway in a sense of hurming you, she considered you amongst many guys she would have gone for.... At times its not even because you were the very best in her list, simply cause she loved you enough to follow your leadership.
Much appreciation Micheal.
And sorry for bringing questions from onother forum to this one, I do so when necessarily.
