Author	Thread: Do you respond to emails?
Admin	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 4 Apr, 2009 06:24 AM Hello men, I have a question for you. Thank you for stopping to view my question; I hope you will also take the time to respond. I have been on this site for a few months. I'm very curious about the men responding (or lack thereof) to emails. This is about my experience and I have heard several women say the same: Why is it that many of the men will not even respond or acknowledge an email on this site? I do know there are several men who are regulars on this chat forum and I love that! You are probably the the few that would respond to an email if I wrote you (and some of you have). BUT, a great majority of men won't even acknowledge an email (from me at least). I know you're wondering, well what am I saying in the email? Here is my typical email: Hello, I read your profile and thought I would stop by and say hi. OR, it was great meeting you in the 'live chatroom', just wanted to say hi. OR, I make a positive comment about something they wrote in their profile. OR I comment in something they said about their relationship with Christ......See, I don't think it's anything indicating 'will you marry me?' OR 'I need a man!' lol--so what am I doing to 'scare' men off? (If anything?). I am definitely mature and capable of taking care of myself, I'm not looking for a man to take care of me. I am looking for 'building chatting buddies, friends, and then wherever God leads.' Men will usually view my profile and ignore the email. I realize I don't have my picture on my profile, but I send it w/every email I send (or they can read the posts and see my photo too). I would appreciate if the men (and women if you're reading) would provide some feedback. I'm stepping out on the wire (like Walter did a few days ago) asking you to respond....my skin isn't as thick as Walters, but I 'think' I can take it....lol.... And again, I'm really trying to build relationships with great Christian chatters--men and women on this site. Thanks, Michelle Post Reply
angel_in_mn View Profile History	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 4 Apr, 2009 10:44 AM Hi Michelle, I have only personally contacted two guys first through a private message on this site. One of them I have developed a really great friendship with - and that was even before I put up any pics. The other - we sent a few messages back & forth and then he just stopped talking to me. :ROFL: It is what it is... In my opinion, I think a lot (not all) of the guys are really "busy" with this site. Meaning they talk to a lot of different women or spend a lot of time browsing profiles. I don't have a clue though why they wouldn't at least give you some type of reply. All I can imagine is that there are no real intentions for meeting other Christians - whether it be for a friendship or a possible relationship. Good question though. I�m sure you�ll get some good answers from the guys. God bless, Miranda Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 4 Apr, 2009 06:21 PM Most of the time. Even if it is just to say thanks and that at this time I would not be interested. I guess I look at it as just good manners or being nice. But, If a lady does not have a photo in her profile, then I ignore it. I figure that she had the opportunity to see what I look like to help her decide if she would choose to write, and I would like to be able to picture and see who is writing me. also in th eage of internet, there are so many mainly women who are trying to scam the men, (Iknow it happens to the ladies also) that they send u an email with out a photo in profile, and want a man to respond. Trust me, we are not that adventurous, and who knows with out a photo, u might be a man corresponding with a man hiding behind a womans identy just to try and scam them. In a christian dating site, it may not happen, but stranget things have happened. So that is my opinion, I hope it helps, but if it does not, we at least it gave u someting to read. Have a good day. Smiles, Tim Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 4 Apr, 2009 06:31 PM Angel-in-MN: Thank you for responding. I see the question has gotten a lot of views but only 2 responses thus far. Elijah--Thank you for being the first man to step out there and respond to my question. I appreciate your honesty and input. Michelle Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 4 Apr, 2009 07:27 PM Hi Michelle, I personally reply to every person who writes me and even "winks" at me even if it just to let them know that..."Thank you for your interest, however after reviewing your profile I don't think we would be compatible, God bless you in your search". I think we need to be honest with people and I believe it is common courtesy to at least reply. I realize that for some women that may be an unrealistic goal. I have known women from other sites who were so popular that they got up to 25 to 50 e-mails a day all from different guys. It can be overwhelming for some so I tend to cut them some slack...LOL. Some i suggested they put on their profiles that due to the amount of responses they would not be able to reply to everyone and pray blessings upon their search. With that said.....if a woman takes the time to read my e-mail and then just ignores me,...I will write them again after a couple of days and ask if I had said something that offended them that would cause them to not at least give me a courtesy reply. Most will reply back and apologize and with some we kindled a friendship. All in all we have to give Grace. Blessings! Walter Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 4 Apr, 2009 10:31 PM I personally haven't gotten any emails without first having sent one, but even though I would eventually like to get married, I see no reason to focus so much on marriage that I couldn't strike up some sort of conversation with someone. In fact, most of the messages I've sent out are because I think the person I'm messaging is somebody that I'd like to talk to and possibly become friends with. I also wouldn't want to merely message someone purely with marriage in mind at all. I think that you should be friends with the person you are marrying before you ever become engaged, much less married. However, while I think that way, a lot of guys my age probably aren't necessarily on this website because they are willing to settle for just making friends. They are probably seeking either a date or a marriage and so someone who doesn't interest them for either is probably not worth taking the time to respond to. I disagree with that and I'm just guesstimating the way others might be viewing it but I know I'm not too far off because I have seen the temptation to merely ignore someone who doesn't fit the bill of what I am looking for. I avoid that temptation and seek to make friends on my path to finding a wife but that doesn't mean the temptation is not there. I also have to agree though that I too find it annoying when people just suddenly stop responding or ignore me entirely. If I said something wrong I'd at least like to know it so that I can know what not to do next time. I am already a little bit lacking in the social skills department and trying to message anyone on this website is a little bit outside of my comfort zone. It would help if I knew what I was doing wrong or right. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 5 Apr, 2009 06:46 AM Thank you, I appreciate you not only reading the question, but also responding. Walter---If I feel that person is not a good match for me (even as a potential friend) I also respond. Thanks for sharing! Alpha--Thank you for your input. I also believe people should not marry without being friends FIRST. In regards to 'online' communications: How can you know someone if you're not willing to first spend some time chatting? Then if it seems that the person interests you AS A FRIEND after you both are comfortable and communicating for a while, then maybe you graduate to phone calls. Some could become life-long friends and maybe (or maybe not) one could become 'the one' God has for you. But I agree, none of that can happen without communication and become friends first. I have met a few males and some females on here that I have great conversation with and that has been great. I just personally feel it's common courtesy to respond to emails. Maybe it's just a big pet peeve of 'only me'..lol However Walter, you shed light on the situation, maybe all the guys have too many emails and just can't respond to mine on this site???.... I'm sure all you guys are really popular and well sought after....lol Joking aside, I appreciate you guys stopping by and responding. Thanks guys. I appreciate your honesty. Michelle Post Reply
cedarwoody View Profile History	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 6 Apr, 2009 06:42 AM I'll step in here and try to give you my perspective on some of this. I'm relatively new to the "dating site' thing, and being that I'm not really the life of the party kind of guy, I find this all a little strange. I do answer individual e mails usually from people that for whatever reason I feel "attracted" to, and yes I prefer pictures, much the same as a glance across a room situation. Without having some sort of indentification of someone, it feels to me that conversations and especially in the chat rooms, are somewhat coducted in a back-to back postion, if you understand what I mean. or better put maybe, with blindfolds on. especially in chatrooms, as many as 10-20 people all speaking more or less at the same time, and again with usernames (codenames), much the same as with blindfolds. just my situation and feelings. Also the heavy emphasis on age requirements for personal communications back and forth limits me to less email conversations than what I would like. Chatting one on one just as new acquaintences or possible "freinds" much the same as in real life if we'd perhaps "bump" into each somewhere randomly. And yes, I admit I am a smoker and here it seems that that's a total taboo! Hey we all have certain things about us that are not necessarily "appealing" to others, but come on. If you want be that specific that's your choice and I honor that. If we would per chance "bump" into each other say at the bank or grocery store or in a parking lot, and I was smoking and appeared to really 63, a young 63 I might add, would your immediate reaction be "Nope, sorry, not for me?" Seems to me to pretty petty and shallow, after all I'm not a predator and I'm not sizing up every lady I meet solely as a potential wife. Hope you can understand where I'm kind of coming from here. Very sorry I'm not your "perfect" match as a potential husband. I am however a Christian, and belive in Jesus, my Savior, in spite of my faults, such as they are. And you know something, He accepts me as I am. Don't take this the wrong way please, but can't we a little bit more accepting and real here? And by the way, I'm open to emails, lol. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 9 Apr, 2009 10:31 PM I think the main reason men may not respond to an email is they simply aren't attracted for one reason or another. For me I always at least send a short message if she is in the U.S. that is! I think it's just common courtesy. Kind of like if I get the courage to walk up to a women on the street and introduce myself I appreciate a friendly hello even if that's it. It takes less effort and emotional effort to do this online but I extend the same courtesy to those who approach me as I would like extended to me. It's only fair, right? So why no response? I think it's probably just a passive way to show disinterest. Also you have to realize most men and women have been faced with their being "nice" being misconstrued as interest in more with the resulting hurt feelings. That can be a difficult situation. God Bless in your search! Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 10 Apr, 2009 06:16 AM Thank you for your feedback Cedar and SavedPK. I appreciate your insight and response to my question. Your feedback (along with the other male responders) has helped me to have a better understanding of man's thoughts. Bless you all! Michelle Post Reply
View Profile History	Do you respond to emails? Posted : 13 Apr, 2009 11:38 AM While unfortunate, Christian or not, this is a dating site. All things considered, the simplest explination is probably the right one. He's probably not that into you. Give me some latitude here; I'm trying to be cruel. I have had many women ignore emails and view me without resopnse. I don't take it personally because I realize that I don't fit their mold. That's ok. God made us all complicated and different. There is a man out there. God has, or is, preparing him for you so don't be discouraged. Keep the faith hun. Post Reply

First

Page : 1 2

Next  2 >>

Last