Seeing that this is a Christian site I will be as delicate and proper as I can be about this.
Being in the 50+ age group, and also a born again Christian I have been wondering for a very long time now what you men really are looking for and wanting in the women you are searching for to date and/or marry.
This is for all men, but hope that the 50+ group will chime in.
How does sex truly fit into the scope of things in your minds?
Do you expect it on the first or second date?
Are you offended and upset if she wants more of a commitment
from you before hand?
Does the idea of her wanting to wait until after marriage bother or upset you?
I can understand your thoughts but have run into great opposition on this subject over the past couple of years.
When I came into this side of life.... the side where I thought it was time
for me to "get back into the game"... I initially thought that abstinence, based purely from the religious side of things... was the only way to go until the I do's were said.
Cannot tell you how surprised and frankly disappointed I was that things are at the point they are ... at least in the secular world.
From in person encounters to those online cyber expectations.
So I read up a lot and was willing to bend my own principles and agree to something within a committed relationship that was headed somewhere....
But that idea has been shot down over and over again.
So, just thought I would pose the questions here in this community
in the hopes I can gain some understanding on truly what you guys want and expect .
"Seeing that this is a Christian site I will be as delicate and proper as I can be about this."
Well, seeing that this is a Christian site, I think we should assume that all the answers to this and other related questions are found in the Bible. And we all should use the Bible as our guide.
"How does sex truly fit into the scope of things in your minds?"
It is a highly personal subject that I think is more fit to be discussed in private between a couple after they have known each other for at least 6 months and are in a close relationshp.
"Do you expect it on the first or second date?"
Are you kidding me? LOL Sex before marriage is wrong!
It comes down to the understanding of the triune God. Lets first explore the relationship between father and children. The intimate relationship of parent relating with child. In marriage this is one part of the triunity between man and woman the relationship of emotion.
We then have the relationship of Spirit and man. The Spirit transends the space time continium. We can relate with oneanother as family and the body of Christ through Spirit. We can know what others think and feel through the Spirit.
So we have the two acceptible forms of interacting through emotion and Spirit to bring a bond between man and man. Woman and woman. Man and woman. These are acceptable in the sit eof God and holy relational interactions.
Now we have the representitive of flesh in jesus. He submitted his life before God the father but he aslo submited his life before another. The Government.
In the flesh if we seek to join together ween need to submit before the government as jesus did. This means that only as the government sanctifies our relationship as married by law. Then we have the right to consumate the relationship.
The triunity of marriage. Emotion, Spirit and flesh.
Until we understand this we will live in confusion.
Thank you for posing the question. I have no doubts on my beliefs re: abstinence b-4 marriage; what I doubt is the TRUE conviction of many Christians, both men and women, in this area. Saying one thing & living out one thing can often be 2 different things. Have I always lived it out....no. But re: purity, I do today. I've learned from my mistakes & hope there are men out there who have as well. I choose to love God in my commitment to Him in this area & hope there is at least one man out there today who feels the same.
Having previously been married and cheated on, for me it's probably a bit scary. I find that belief and practice are not always in line. Maybe it's just me and my experience, but it seems like the age group I am in (39+) is heavily populated with sincere and honest woman of faith, but who deep down are cougars and will pounce if both are not on guard. To a worldly man this couldn't be better, but for me as a born again believer, this raises red flags.
Red flags like this can get in the way of what could be a true loving life long bond leading to marriage.
