Guys I don't get it. You want a woman... a God Fearing, virtuous, camel quenching woman. But you bash us, we're crazy, we have unreachable expectations, you jokingly create a picture of a barbie doll, running around completely lost and not knowing what she's doing, thinking or feeling, and yet you want to marry one...
I know there are some pretty disgusting examples of women out there today, but is there where you should be looking? Not all women have breakdowns, panic attacks and PMS.
Just curious, and I'm sure this won't make me popular but, do you sometimes wonder if the woman bashing is an excuse, I mean, you guys are... here... too..
You guys can't even respond to an email (no matter how much effort and consideration I put into it) for whatever reason. It's pathetic. Without the feedback necessary for good communication, we're left to make our own conclusions. So yeah, despite my best efforts, my opinion of women is becoming pretty low because of that. Also, what do you mean by "out there"? Non-Christians, or just women not online? Either way the women out there are way better in terms of being fun, friendly, open, interesting, non-judgmental and pretty much the opposite of the women on here.
Ok, so because you don't get the email responses you expect, you feel justified in berating women (Christians)..
Worldly vs Christian women, not gonna even go there..
I've not met a Christian woman who resembles your view. I mean I've met a few who are IMO a little uptight because of what being a Christian means to them, but my friends and I have a blast.
I read your profile,seems to me you're a well rounded kind of guy, and it doesn't seem to fit with your reply to me.
I started out as well rounded but this site has gotten me bent out of shape pretty quick.
I don't see it as berating so much as just saying how we see things from our end based on experience. Tons of flip flopping, double standards, and vague subjective characteristics, signals, signs, circumstances that "we should just know" supposedly. Women have no problem whatsoever criticizing and judging us while piling on even more demands and expectations and specifications (Exhibit A: sand123's post below) and still reject for reason's unknown no matter how hard I try. And at no point whatsoever do women ever wonder how they can communicate better with guys or do any of the things they want us to be good at. Instead they just double down on making more demands and expectations. It all always has to come from us. So after all that, what should I think of women on here? I'm not saying berating (as you put it) women is right, not at all. But I understand why other guys think and will occasionally hint at, if not outright express things that are unflattering.
However, you are right about something you called me out on in my last post. It could've done without the last 3 sentences. It's not really what I believe either and I apologize. This is obviously kinda a heated topic for me, but me saying things like that doesn't help anything. So, sorry for that. I do realize I am being pretty raw in this too, and I hope you can appreciate the fact that I'm just trying to provide material to work with by being honest about how I see and experience things on here so we can have a good and even productive discussion. Meeting people online just didn't seem like it should be so complicated on the outset. I'll probably be deleting my account sometime this week. Turns out I still don't need this in my life.
What is relationship? But relating, right? Many people have come and gone for one reason or another but in reality they do not possess the ability to endure to the end.
Its good if they become discouraged and leave because they simply are not ready for a commited relationship. Commited relationships require endurance.
Were not going to relate to everyone and in reality we probally will relate to only a small handful of people. Why do we become discouraged and focused on those we do not relate with?
Because we are impatient people. God is working with every single to produce patience and patience produces endurance and endurance wins the day.
It takes patience and endurance to listen. It takes patience and endurance to take time to understand.
Those focused on going around worried about those who they do not relate with are missing the oppertunity in finding one they might relate with. Why waste energy on what does not work? Why not take that energy and focus on finding relating that does work?
Renov, no worries, it is a heated topic, thanks for responding, no harm done no offense taken. Hope I didn�t offend you, not my intent I have issues with verbiage at times. I�d rather be honest and learn something.. The Sandpost, do you mean the, road to smoking leads to hell thing, well.. see there I go again..
Agreed this place can be anything but enjoyable at times. I guess at this point I�m not expecting a CDFF marriage, and at some point I stopped logging in for that reason. Now, I�m here mostly to keep up with friends and read the recycled issues.
I know it takes a lot of thought, or at least it should to introduce yourself to someone in this fashion, ok, it�s down right frustrating. Having to play a guessing game is no fun, I get it. I can�t explain why someone won�t respond to email. I�ve tried to not respond to emails, especially when it�s obvious the guy hasn�t read my profile. But I can�t do it. It feels bad, even if it�s negative I do reply excluding winks. Personally I think everyone should (respond), but, I�m not everyone.
I don�t know maybe they should get a couple of matchmakers on here to serve as a kinda liaison. I don�t know, check/compare profiles and send suggestions to those who request or something, but I guess the site wouldn�t be free anymore.. and that is kinda stupid cause that�s what most come here to do on their own� hmm
I really do wish the best for you, thanks for commenting. Well rounded and gutsy how could you not have a woman out there somewhere.. Oh, a ChristianWoman. :ROFL:
PS.. Just read the post you referenced... pretty much speaks for itsellf. In all fairness though I didn't read it all, I couldn't.
This is how the world wants us seen. TV shows like Private Practice, Greys Anatomy.. how do this women make it out bed each morning.. Psychiatrists getting paid big time to consult with techniques they swear by, but can't get over a breakup of their own... its madness, and yes there are women like the, I tend to stay clear of them it gets crazy, yes.
Its easy to lump us all in there, but we're not that way. I have to go wash my head out now...
1) It's hard. Really hard. No, make that unbelievably hard, to actually make a success of online dating. There's a whole lotta people out there that don't agree with your opinions (and don't mind telling ya so) but probably only a few handfuls you'd choose even just as friends. Sorting the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, is demoralising when it seems that most don't fit, and when you find the ones you think do, they ignore you because they don't agree. Fact is, out of the hundreds you may wink at or message, you can probably count on your fingers how many you'll actually have a conversation with, and you'll be very lucky if you meet up with more two of those.
Don't take it personally - so what if every woman or guy you message says no, or even just blanks you completely?- neither of you are 'wrong', just not 'right' together. Better this way than thinking it's right and breaking up (or worse, divorcing) later on when you can't maintain the falsehood anymore...
2) Women don't know what they want. :nahnah: I thought that might provoke a reaction, so I'll qualify it by saying that very few people begin knowing what they want; most kinda figure it out as they go along when dates and stuff they thought they wanted reveal shortcomings. What I thought I wanted ten years ago isn't what I want now, yet we all want to portray ourselves in a positive light so not all of our criteria gets put down from the outset, but they're still there. I'll generalise, but those in their teens and early twenties are enjoying their newfound freedom from their parents' apron-strings at university (or whatever your equivalent is); those in their mid twenties are putting themselves into their careers, whilst those in the late twenties, mid-thirties are thinking about starting a family. The age brackets are of course flexible, but the pattern shows that what we want and need from a partner changes as we journey through life, so even though the person may be right, the timing may not.
I think a great deal of the negativity comes from being exposed to mostly bad encounters with women, which informs our perception of how we generally view women as a whole. Conversely, if one has a lot of positive experiences with women they will have a more positive view. I think that's where it's easy to get into trouble on here for a lot of guys (or maybe it's just me), is when bad encounters rack up really quick. Obviously it's not just one or the other, but a mixture of the two experiences and unfortunately it can be really easy for the bad to outweigh the good for a lot of guys. But those few good encounters are what keep us going and coming back to try again.
You see I have learned to have a good encounter because I have learned that women are crazy. This give me the oppertunity to love them or just one of them. Once you finally realise that women are crazy you will just relax and figure out wich one you are able to love that is the right crazy one for you.
