Author	Thread: How do men coup/handle with heartaches and pains because of break-ups or divorce?
YourSong View Profile History	How do men coup/handle with heartaches and pains because of break-ups or divorce? Posted : 25 Feb, 2013 03:18 AM I just wonder how men coup with heartaches and pains because of break-ups and divorce. How do they handle themselves when they felt so down. I wonder because I had let go a man who said he loved me so much and was willing to spend everything for me. I too loved him so much and thought that he is the one that i have been waiting for. We planned, we project things together in the future. Yet when testing came...(i made a deal with God, but i prayed intensely to Him that this man would pass)...but he failed. Therefore i let him go. I wonder how did he coup since we never talk about feelings again since the letting go. I hope i could find honest and sincere answer. Thank you. God bless us all. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do men coup/handle with heartaches and pains because of break-ups or divorce? Posted : 25 Feb, 2013 10:44 AM You says that the man you let go had said "he loved me so much and was willing to spend everything for me" and that sounds great but it has a flaw, because everyone needs to put God as first and foremost in our life and then have our human relationships including marriage as second to God. To spend everything is to spend too much, as we can even love a partner too much and make the person into an idol. Years ago (1981) when I broke-up and separated from my wife and later she got the divorce then it was a horrible experience for me, and I saw it as worse for me because my marriage failure was primarily my own fault. It took me some 5 years after my 5 year marriage broke-up before I really recovered from the pain of it, and yet I still hold my own regrets ever after till today and onward some 32 years later as it can still trouble me. So I do not believe that any person (male or female) ever walks away from a relationship without being harmed and scarred by it. Very much like PTS (Post Traumatic Stress), because ending a relationship is always some level of trauma. For me when I really began to recover from the very hard break-up that I went through happened 5 years later when I found my religion, found my faith, and then I truly started to heal and to move on. I do not know if you wanted a reply like this - but this answer is honest and sincere. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do men coup/handle with heartaches and pains because of break-ups or divorce? Posted : 25 Feb, 2013 07:11 PM I also believe that men may never completely recover from a divorce/breakup. Scars will always remain. I experienced a very intense breakup, which is the hardest thing I ever went through. I committed to not dating for a year, as I had a strong urge of needing a girl to make me feel significant and to understand me. I realized that God has to fill that void first and only then am I at the point where I should be dating. The only way I found to deal with the pain was to express complete forgiveness, and commit it to God. I experienced tremendous healing. It has made me much stronger and wiser! Post Reply
YourSong View Profile History	How do men coup/handle with heartaches and pains because of break-ups or divorce? Posted : 27 Feb, 2013 12:25 AM Thank you guys for your honest and sincere sharing. I hope there could be more guys in here who would be willing to share their experience regarding break-ups. God bless us all. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do men coup/handle with heartaches and pains because of break-ups or divorce? Posted : 27 Feb, 2013 04:17 AM I had a tremendous amount of anger to deal with after being divorced. The frustration and rejection I felt on a consistant basis of not being able to resolve conflict with her was a great burden. One thing that helped me greatly was relating to Jesus. Jesus was also rejected and not for any good reasons but I was. God also is reaching out to His creation and wants to communicate and resolve the conflict between Him and us. With many to no avail also. Even the greatest lover ,,,God doesnt get His love through to everyone. God loves everyone but not everyone can receive Gods love. When we realise that we have to find someone who can receive us for more than just sex.....ual encounter then we have true love. Finding unconditional acceptance takes time and complete honesty. Learning all these things about relationship and asking God to help me forgive has healed me completly of my past pain and allowed me to love as I desired to love in the first place. Now with a Lady who receives me and not rejects me. The reality is we are all rejectible people even the one you are with. But to give love in place of rejection is knowing God and walking in God. Post Reply
TravisjustTravis View Profile History	How do men coup/handle with heartaches and pains because of break-ups or divorce? Posted : 8 Mar, 2013 04:53 PM I can not answer for every guy, and I am not going to asume that every guy is alike. I do not know how other guys would feel about the type of rejection that you discribed, however I intend to list howI would feel if I was in the type of situation that you discribed. I tend to think of GOD like a LOVEING parent, and we are like his children. Like a lot of kids do we ask our heavenly FATHER for a favor (like will you buy me this toy, or will you buy me this piece of candy, or will you help me undrstand this situation). I d not understand why he answers some of our prayer requests and not others...I just know that GOD is a lot smarter than me therefore when HE does not answer one of my prayer requests I take that to mean that GOD does not think that what I want would be good for me at that time! I think that it would be rude to continue to ask someone a question once they already gave me an answer. (because if they already gave me an answer, the only thing that I can usualy acomplish by asking them again is to question there authority.) So when you tell me that there was a guy that claimed to be in love with you. I am going to assume that you had proably spent a little time getting to know the guy. I am also going to assume that both of you have the Spirit of GOD living inside of you...therefore it is logical for me to say that at least you both have an ounce of discernment (and who gave you that discernment...none other than our friend GOD!) So when you tell me that: A) you two have spent some time getting to know each other, and your discernment detector did not go off. B) you did not decide to stop knowing the guy until after you had seen the guy fail a test tha I am assuming you believe was given to you by GOD. My eyebrows raise up because I know that GOD does not change...So the same GOD that instaled discernment in you (and the guy did not trigger that alarm) you say failed a test that I assume you recieved in prayer. It sounds to me that you want to believe that you are wanting a relationship, but I think that maby you are wanting to say that GOD is not allowing you to be in a relationship...when it does not sound like GOD is holding you back. Now back to you question about how guys handel rejection? (With the knowledge that quite a few people try to blame GOD for ther feelings) I try to thank GOD for the people that HE took out of my life. I am not saying that you are not a good person to get to know, I am just wanting to emphasie that the guy you were talking about sounded like a real good guy, and I think that in the future that you should try to pay more attention to your discernment alarm! Travis Post Reply