Guy's I'd like to know why it's sooooooooo hard for you to be honest with are woman you are serious with. Why lie to cover a lie? If you aren't serious with a woman, why pretend to be just to hurt her in the end? Why can't you be straight and if things aren't working, just say so, not gamble 3 women, or if you really ain't feeling her just tell her and leave her instead of wasting our time!! oh, i hate time wasters!
I find that every Woman declares that they want truth and honesty, but they do not really want it, and they get resentful if not angry at any man foolish enough to tell the Woman the honest truth.
As like many Woman wear the awful makeup thinking it makes them self more attractive, and yet when a man tells them the obvious honest truth that they would look far better without the war paint - then such Men are asking for trouble and getting rejection too.
Just as Ladies asking the Man about her weight is a death trap for every Man, and many such things that Women put every Man into a scenario of be nice more than be honest.
And you ask about "being serious" and I have no idea as to whatever a woman means by being serious.
As like if me and she go out on dates and like I am buying us both diner - then is not that "serious" or serious enough?
Does "serious" mean you want a marriage proposal? which is cool, as many Women do tell up front that they want to get married and that works for me - but if you mean marriage then say marriage because "serious" is not well defined.
And having 2 or 3 women then there needs to be some kind of commitment to stop that, as like being engaged or going steady or some thing with just one, and that takes two to tango as the Lady needs to make the commitment too.
Women are often times worse than Men - in that Women keep a dozen or more Men on their hook until some Man breaks her line of boys. Of course the Ladies see the boys as just friends.
IMO, it is not really being dishonest or a lie if we say things just to be nice, or just to be friendly, or just not to upset the other person (male or female).
For me myself then I find it unreasonable to expect complete honesty or forthrightness as that is just asking and expecting too much. I would even say it is most often better to be nice rather than blunt honest.
Of course eventually over time in a relationship then the entire truth (or relevant truths) must come out, but I find that it always takes time, and slow truth is better than the harsh and unnecessary and blunt kind of honesty.
Honestly does not equal blunt. God calls us all to be honest, so "being nice" by saying you love her outfit instead of telling her that you think it's not the best is actually a sin. Didn't the Bible say something about no sin being too small?
If a woman cannot take honesty, than it becomes her issue, not the one being honest with them. Women often feel like they can say whatever is on their minds with no consequences, sometimes embarrassing or emasculating their partners. He bares it. But, when a man says something that triggers any kind of insecurity she has, she can make him sleep on the couch? That's a sign of immaturity.
I appreciate honesty and criticism. I wouldn't be who I am without it.
BTW, "serious" generally means that at the stage of the relationship, there are no questions about being with anyone else or doing anything else. Example: We are "seriously" dating because we are not with anyone else and we are considering a future. Example: We are serious about our future because after so many years of dating we are considering marriage.
The way you describe as being "serious" has the same meaning to me as in the older days it was called being engaged.
I realize that this new generation wants to redefine things and to create a new world, but I really believe that if you ask most Men if they are "serious" then the sensible Men would simply say "yes" without knowing the meaning of it as you describe.
If one truly does appreciate honesty then they simply have to use the correct terminology / the correct words, so that the other person will understand exactly what is being said.
It is easy for a Woman to confuse a Man- even when the Man is honest and trustworthy.
No woman would ever make me sleep on the couch. If she wants to create division in our relationship she will have to be the one to move away and sleep on the couch.
But that would never happen because my responsibility as the head is to maintain unity.
The fear of man seems to cause people to lie. Proverbs 29:25.
Be true to yourself and to God. The only time you should lie is if Russians come to your house and ask if you are hiding Jews, then you can say No..Corrie Tin Boone did that, as well as Rahab. "Rahab the prostitute did not perish with those who were disobedient, because she had given a friendly welcome to the spies." Hebrews 11:31
Joshua 6:17
"And the city and all that is within it shall be devoted to the LORD for destruction. Only Rahab the prostitute and all who are with her in her house shall live, because she hid the messengers whom we sent."
Love and fear of God is what motivated them..never for selfish reasons!
I find that the way of "do not lie" does not mean we must burst out the truth.
Also I find that truth and honesty are very often different things.
As particularly people can be honestly wrong, and be honestly mean or hateful, and honesty is usually just a matter of opinion.
If one tells the truth and nothing but the truth then one needs to be very accurate regardless of our own feelings or opinions.
I even find lies to be more complicated then simply being untrue, because people say things as true when they are mistaken or just guessing or just talking, so being inaccurate is not necessarily a lie.
IMO, most people are basically honest, but that honesty is usually just their opinions and beliefs and their feelings with very little regard for the truth.
Actually, I won't answer to the fullest now, as I am not chanced for now, but will come back later.
The issue is not with guys alone, but with both sexes. When the purpose of a thing is not known, definitely abuse will be the other of the day.
How many of us know our purpose on earth? How many of us understand the path God wants us to take in life? We fal into dishonesty and deception sometimes because we feel like we can do things by ourselves, forgetting that the heart of a man is desperately wicked and only God Himself can discern it.
