Suppose you came across an attractive woman who knew her bible well and had a deep passion for Christ and had a genuine love for the brethren and spreading the Gospel...BUT..during her testimony she discloses she at one time was a big Porn Star and slept with hundreds of men and even women. But now she is a new creation in Christ and has abandoned her past!
Would you still date her? Does her past really matter anymore?
Walter, why would her past make any difference, if she is truly re-born in Christ, she is a different person, born clean of past sin, is that not correct?
What I would do is take my time and get to know her (unless she is too much of a temptation). If she is a born-again christian it would be apparent because of her actions. Matthew 7:18 says, "A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit."
If she is a born again christian, her past shouldn't matter. Christ delivered her from that sin and she seeks to bring glory to god.
How I would approach it is ask myself, "Will dating her bring me closer to god or will it push me away from him?"
Well Walter, I do think there are some things you would have to find out first, because of her past.
1) Has she been tested for STDs?
2) Did her past cause psychological problems where intimacy is concerned?
3) Does she have a healthy attitude toward sex now?
I know these are not things you are comfortable talking about with a woman you are wanting to marry, but they are important. The first is self explanatory, so we will skip it, but let's look at #2.
Many Porn stars develop serious mental issues over time. These can include a deep hatred of men, lesbian tendencies, and clothing issues. Most of the time, these women don't even know they have a problem until they are in a relationship. You might buy her a sexy nightgown, and she throws you out of the house. It would take a lot of kind understanding to work through these things.
Many others have been desensitized where sex is concerned. They have no real craving for it, they get no real pleasure out of it, it is more like a job than real intimacy. This is probably the easiest of the 3 to work through. As you talk to her, you let her know, this is not about just physical pleasure, it is a way to strengthen the bond of love between you. Be patient, and love her back to normal. But don't expect results overnight, it takes real time.
Now that we have the worldly part out of the way, I will say that what she did in her past would never stop me from pursuing a relationship with her. When Jesus makes you new, you are new.
I can't do it :laugh: If I didn't know her pass then its a maybe. Why approach something if you don't have the emotion for it? Especially when its too much for the heart to tolerate.
Try to look at it this way. I am a wretched sinner and am no different than this person. If I met a woman who was a former prostitute it makes no difference to me as I am as guilty for having sex with women for pleasure. Whether someone has sex for pleasure or for money, it is no different in God's eyes. The only thing that matters is if that person is now Born Again, a New Creature in Christ. If God no longer holds those sins against them because they are washed by the blood of Christ Jesus, then what right do we have to hold them against them? Food for thought. :-)
I agree with you completely. There are Christians who have powerful testimonies that they do not use for God's glory, because they believe that they will be judged by their brothers and and sisters in the Lord. I will be sharing my testimony on this thread tonight and talking about a ministry that God has laid on my heart.
If we REALLY BELIEVE that the blood of Jesus washes us and cleanses us from all unrighteousness, if we REALLY BELIEVE that when we are born again, we are new creations in Christ, If we REALLY BELIEVE that the old man has past away and all things are new, then why wouldn't we date this person?
Do we REALLY BELIEVE the promises of God, or do we secretly have our doubts? Who are we to judge our brothers and sisters? If God can forgive and forget, why cant we?
I was a troubled teen who had very low self esteem due to being raised by parents who did not know how to show affection or speak words of affirmation. I guess it showed because there were always adult men there to tell me that my father did not love or understand me like they did. So between the ages of 11 and 12 these men began to provide me with cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol, and also began to abuse me sexually.
This led to a lifestyle of drinking, drugs, and promiscuity that lasted throughout my teenage years. When I became an adult I had seen an ad in a newspaper that said I could make money dating men, so I began a career as a prostitute for an escort service. In my warped mind at the time, I thought that if all men wanted from me was sex then they were going to have to pay for it and that I was taking control of my sexuality. I did not feel that I was hurting anyone and that it is my body to do with as I pleased.
I tried to rationalize what I was doing and thought that I was somehow different from the prostitutes on the street, because I was going to the finest hotels and restaurants with these men. All of the money that I had made was spent on drinking, drugs, travel, and shopping, all in an effort to to make myself feel better about what I was doing. I eventually became very depressed and sought the help of a therapist who encouraged me to pursue my dream of working with animals.
And so I attended a school for dog trainers and bought a ranch in the mountains where I began to board and train dogs. So I lived on a ranch in the mountains with pet cows, pigs, and a burro. I was training dogs and making a great living and thought I had everything that I had ever wanted.
But I was still miserable and empty inside. I thought I must be crazy and that I would never be happy no matter how much I achieved. I felt like there was something wrong with me, that I was dirty, and damaged, and that nobody could ever understand me or love me after all that I had been through. I was also an atheist since about 12 years old and could not be convinced that there was a God in Heaven. Fast forward to March 6th 2005...
When I woke up in the morning and felt compelled to go to church, it was like I had no choice in the matter and I had to go. So I went and introduced myself to the pastor and said " hi, my name is Lydia and I really don't know why I am here, I do not believe in God". The pastor told me that the Holy Spirit brought me. Anyway I went in and felt at home there and after the service the pastor gave me a new believers bible and said that he hoped that I would come back. I went home and read the New Testament in a week, I could not put it down. Two weeks later I asked Jesus to forgive me and confessed Him as my Lord and Savior.
In that moment it was as if the weight of the world was taken off of my shoulders, and I cried like I had not done in very long time. I felt clean, whole, renewed, and restored. The scriptures became very real to me that day. And I know that the blood of Jesus does wash us white as snow, and that we are new creations in Christ. I no longer feel like there is something wrong with me because I am now right with God. The old man has passed away behold all things are new.
I now know what it is like to have joy, contentment, and peace in my life. They are gifts from God that nobody can take away. I know now what my purpose is in this life and it is to serve the Living God and tell everyone of His great love, grace, and mercy. And of the sacrifice that He made on our behalf.
