Author	Thread: guy friends
candi85 View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 01:20 PM ok i have a question. i have been friends with this guy for 9 yrs. we've had a great friendship til recently. he knows that i have liked him for years so i put the ball in his court if he still wanted to be friends. he said yes definetly. we talked off and on and now 2 wks later hes not talking to me. hes never been in a serious relationship so im not sure if he does like me and hes afraid of getting hurt or if its something bout me. i have tried dating other guys but hes always in the back of my head and how i wish it was him. my friends and family think i should just come out and ask him to date me and see where it goes but i heard guys run. i dont know what else to do any suggestions or ideas? why he is doing this? thank you Post Reply
Apostelle View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 01:36 PM So, youve been friends for 9 years, decided to "put the ball in his court", and began talking about a romanitic relationship for about two weeks. Then he began acting as if he was mad at you? If thats the case, there are two things you can do. 1. Come right out and ask him if he is mad at you and why. If he says he is not mad at you. If he is not mad at you... 2. Ask him if something is wrong. Is he worried about changing your friendship into something romantic? Has someone been talking behind your back. Things like that. Guys appreciate honesty. But above all, turn it over to God. He knows best. Post Reply
View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 01:36 PM Hi Candi, I would suggest not asking him out. The man naturally leads. If you ask him, there's a really good chance he will run. If he wants to pursue a relationship with you, he will come to you and ask you. The reason it is not well that a woman should ask a man out is because it goes against the design God had for men and women, and makes you appear aggressive if you chase after him. Men are aggressive, women are not. We usually just look pretty and wait for them to come to us. :ROFL: I would pray, and ask the Lord that he will do what he sees is best for this. If you think there's a chance he might learn to like you, you could put on some make-up, and something really nice looking and any woman rituals you enjoy doing, but the key is in your mannerisms. Do not appear overly interested in him, or eager or chase him in any manner. What most ladies don't know is that men don't need encouragement, if he likes you he will ask you out. Song of Solomon 8:4 - I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please. Post Reply
Apostelle View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 01:44 PM Maybe I misunderstood what she said, but I thought they had already been talking about it for 2 weeks. Post Reply
candi85 View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 01:47 PM i have tried asking if somethings wrong or is he mad. he wont answer or text back. maybe it is one door ill have to close and i really dont want to do that. my instincts are telling me hes the one. i dont know if there is such a feeling or not but chase him no. i dont want to do that either. but i dont want to walk away wondering if im making a mistake Post Reply
candi85 View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 01:49 PM lol no apostelle we had general normal convos. no romantic talk. Post Reply
INHIMALONEISTAND View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 02:11 PM I am not sure I completely agree with you msmarvel. What about Ruth and Boaz? I think in any relationship there needs to be open communication and if you are feeling something it should be discussed. Hiding things and leaving it in the dark can cause confusion and arguments. I think bringing her feelings to the light and in the open is the best thing to do. If he runs, then he wasn't the one. But that is just my two cents!! :yay: Post Reply
candi85 View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 02:17 PM that is true..if he does run then he isnt...but im scared of bringing it up cuz i told him i wasnt going to chase him. this is confusing Post Reply
INHIMALONEISTAND View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 02:23 PM Confusion comes from the enemy.... For any good relationship to work there must be open honest communication. Playing hard to get just because you think a woman is not supposed to make the first move is not the answer. Just think about it the quicker you get the conversation over with the quicker you will know tha answer. And if he does run than you will know he isn't the one. I would definitley pray before you have the conversation and ask God to guide you and go from there. I really think you need to just go for it and see what happens. Post Reply
candi85 View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 02:29 PM thats true....but then ill lose the friendship too...but maybe the best thing if im having trouble dating other guys. why are men so complicated? but definetly worth the try. i dont want to go for the next 5 years waiting for someone who may not even come. but how do u know when they are the one? Post Reply
View Profile History	guy friends Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 03:12 PM INHIMALONEISTAND, Ruth went with Naomi to be among her people, to worship her God. Boaz was the kinsmen redeemer, Ruth had been gleaning in his fields, which I believe was happen-stance. Kinsmen redeemers were a common thing in that time, and had to do with inheritance and lineage, and he could marry her and protect her. The story is a really beautiful story, and had a lot to do with the grace and sovereignty of the Lord. However, you will find that Ruth and Boaz's circumstances were very different than this. The Lord was responsible for the way things had happened, though the people in this situation found each other, perhaps not in the most romantic of situations (but that depends on your view of romance), it was a miracle and a blessed thing. God bless you. Post Reply

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