Author	Thread: meeting
Admin	meeting Posted : 26 Jan, 2012 04:16 PM Guys, Is there a number of messages you prefer to exchange before getting a phone number to schedule a phone call? How long does it take for you to feel comfortable with a girl before meeting in person? Perhaps some of you may wait a certain amount of time, how long do you wait from initial contact to personal meeting? Just wanted to see what you guys might say. Thanks for the responses. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	meeting Posted : 27 Jan, 2012 11:20 AM Well...the guys aren't exactly answering. Hmm. I, too, am really curious to hear what they have to say. Since they've had their chance, I'm going to put in MY 2 cents' worth now! (From a girl's perspective, of course!) How many messages do I like to exchange before he asks me for my phone number? There is no set number. A lot depends on the quality and length of the messages. If the messages are fairly substantial and I feel like he's been honest with me, I'd be ok with him asking for my number after 3-4 messages each. If the messages are short and/or he hasn't answered or asked any questions, or I feel like something is just "off" about him, it would take much longer before I'd be willing to give him my number...and if he asked for it early on, I'd be suspicious of his intentions. So yeah, it just depends. How long should it be from initial contact to personal meeting? Again, a lot would depend on how the messages went, how the phone conversations went, and my overall comfort with the guy. Some guys I'd meet within a couple weeks. I did that once...we messaged for a week before he asked for my number and called me, and we met a week after that first phone call...and ended up dating for three months. Our messages were VERY substantial, though. Most are not that substantial. On the flip-side, I think there are probably some guys that, after a good number of messages, I would know that I would never want to meet. (Of course, I wouldn't continue a conversation on a dating site if I absolutely knew that I'd never want to meet him.) Post Reply
View Profile History	meeting Posted : 27 Jan, 2012 03:55 PM How about this for a twist. Let's say you can verify some things: where he works and found the guy on a fb search to see his profile. The messages are substantial. There have been several email exchanges, but instead of asking for a phone number he gives out his personal email. Should that be a concern or just continue conversation outside of the dating site? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	meeting Posted : 27 Jan, 2012 06:34 PM Giving me his email address (or asking for mine) would be fine once we'd exchanged a number of on-site messages, even if we haven't talked on the phone yet. This would be especially fine if we are having trouble with the dating site...for example, a guy sent me a reply yesterday, but it never went through. Poor fellow had to re-type the whole thing (and it was LONG!) If we have trouble again, I might just ask him to send messages to my email inbox instead. I do have an email address that I give to guys on dating sites. It doesn't have my full name in it (shows up as just from "Beth" in their inbox, and doesn't have my name in the actual address either), so it's nearly as anonymous as the dating site. Of course, I always reserve the right to refuse giving info to a guy. If I'm not comfortable sharing my number or email, I don't. Post Reply
View Profile History	meeting Posted : 27 Jan, 2012 11:59 PM In regards to losing a message, I have typed up an answer and saved it to my computer and then copied it into this site or even into my e-mail. That's another way to do it without having to give out an e-mail address. I do agree with what has already been said about giving out numbers and e-mail addresses. However, it would be great to hear from the guys, too. Post Reply
View Profile History	meeting Posted : 28 Jan, 2012 04:51 AM @OP: Just the basics: are there any obvious dealbreakers that would make going further pointless. If nothing jumps out as being a no-no then meet up as soon as possible. I've found that people can hide aspects of their character when they're only communicating by text. It's harder for them over the phone because vocal intonation gives certain things away, but face to face is almost impossible to maintain for very long because you've got body language and everything else to pick up on. Post Reply
Gourd00 View Profile History	meeting Posted : 28 Jan, 2012 07:33 PM Prolly not within the first week of email contact for me. We just met, so I wouldn't want to jump into things. Besides, once they have your phone number, they have your phone number. Less risk of creepers/clingers if one is patient. Post Reply
View Profile History	meeting Posted : 29 Jan, 2012 01:47 PM Don't know what the situation in America is, but here you can get SIM cards pretty much free if you visit a mobile network's website. Get one of these and put it in an unlocked phone - give that number out. You don't need to add credit to it (just use for incoming calls from 'unknowns') and if you need to call them back, use your regular phone with the number withheld. If things turn nasty and they cause you trouble, bin the SIM and repeat with a new number! Post Reply
View Profile History	meeting Posted : 30 Jan, 2012 10:24 PM We also exchanged numbers, but I think the guy should call first. So, I guess I will just have to wait. Post Reply
View Profile History	meeting Posted : 31 Jan, 2012 09:10 AM I wouldn't be concerned about exchanging e-mail before numbers. A lot of women on this site would rather do that than exchange numbers. For me, I am willing to exchange numbers after just a little bit of contact. The reason is because I always have my phone on me, and text messaging is faster than checking this site all the time. As far as meeting goes, if you two both feel comfortable meeting each other, that's when you should meet. It's not like you are planning on being an item after the first date, right? If you meet, you get to know the person way better than messaging in my opinion. Post Reply