Author	Thread: What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms?
Admin	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 24 Oct, 2007 09:55 PM I want to know what all you christian guys think about why or why not should someone get involved with a woman who is divorced and has a child/ children? Would you date her? Why or Why not? Are sites like this a waste of her time? Please be brutally honest and don't sugar coat your response. If I truly didn't want to know I wouldn't have asked. Post Reply
bigheartguy View Profile History	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 24 Oct, 2007 11:16 PM Most all the single moms I�ve known have been great people but still had way to many ties with their Ex now it�s not to say that woman that have not had kid don�t I�ve known a number that did. It just hard to move on till the ties are broken something that can be very hard for some people. The fact is if a divorced person or even someone that has been in a long relationship has not broken the ties it will carry over into the new relationship an may end up killing it. It�s not to say I�d not date a single mom but I�d take it really really slow. Post Reply
View Profile History	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 28 Oct, 2007 02:55 PM Yes that is true, however some Single, Divorced Moms aren't given that option. In more and more states, divorced parents are still forced to co-parent their children together. They are still forced to be a part of each other's lives because the Children are both of their's. "and the two shall become one flesh" I was not given an option for ties to be completely broken, nor was I given any financial support by my ex for our child. We were forced to co-parent our child which meant we still had to deal with each other (Um hello there? why do you think he divorced me? We can't deal with each other anymore) We fought with each other for3 years because our daughter didn't want to live with her dad. For 3 years he forced her to bounce between my home and his apt. Now he is reaping what he sewed. She has completely disowned him and she is only 6! She wants nothing to do with him and he is finally letting her live with me indefinately, however he still refuses to make it legal by signing the papers to give me full custody, and thereby giving us the severing of ties that we want. WHY AM I SHARING ALL THIS WITH YOU??? DON'T BE AFRAID OF GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH A DIVORCED MOM. Many times your presence, support, and encouraging words will be MUCH more APPRECIATED by her than by a single woman who has not known the hell that divorce puts one through as a parent. PLEASE REMEMBER AND UNDERSTAND, THAT IF YOU AND SHE ARE BOTH SAVED, PUT GOD 1ST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND RELY ON HIM TO BE THE GLUE THAT KEEPS YOUR RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER... THAT THE EX, NO MATTER HOW HARD HE TRIES WON'T BE ABLE TO BREAK THROUGH GOD'S DEFENSES TO RUIN THAT RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE. tHAT IS CALLED MAKING YOUR RELATIONSHIP (WHETHER IT IS FRIENDSHIP, DATING, OR MARRIAGE) A TRIPOD WITH THE LORD AS YOUR THIRD LEG THAT WILL NEVER FAIL YOU AND WON'T EVER LET YOU FALTER! Post Reply
bigheartguy View Profile History	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 29 Oct, 2007 10:50 PM I was not talking about that type of ties. I know all to well about co parenting thing and don�t have a problem with it. The ties I�m talking about are emotional and soul ties. I�m talking about unforgiveness, bitterness, anger and resentment directed at ones Ex that�s what I�m talking about. That can happen even when a men or woman come out of a dating relationship that ended badly or was long term. Like I stated in my post I don�t have A problem with dating a single mom but that I�d take it slow starting as friends. I know how hard it is being a single mom my mom raised four kid by herself. The truth is most guys pick up on the ties fairly easy. I can see anger and resentment in your reply with you yelling at me even after you asked for the truth. Why is that? Are you mad at me or with him for leaving you for another woman and putting you in the position of being a single mom. Post Reply
View Profile History	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 7 Nov, 2007 01:19 PM I didn't mean for the caps to be yelling. It was just capped because I felt that those points are important and most men don't seem to get it or understand it. I am sorry you thought I was yelling. I guess I should've put an emoticon by those things so people would not misinterpret it. Post Reply
View Profile History	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 7 Nov, 2007 01:34 PM I am not mad at any male other than my ex. I know I am better off not being married to him any more. However I still have to deal with him, that is what I am not happy about. :rolleyes: I am just frustrated by his actions and the fact he has made statements that he refuses to back up, which in turn has costed me a lot of money for legal fees that I could've spent on getting needed things for my daughter. I am frustrated by the fact that he keeps confusing our daughter and I, and in his doing so I have to be the one to deal with it. He keeps getting off scott free, and I am the one he blames. I don't understand why God keeps allowing this to happen? I trust the Lord, but don't see how this is what is best for my daughter and I. When you have no choice in the matter, how do you deal with someone who refuses to admit they have done nothing wrong, and blames you for everything? Yes, it is hard to cut emotional ties. It is even harder when the other person won't let you go because he likes to be the one in control. I have found that sometimes even when you try to cut the ties emotionally, the other person keeps tying the cut pieces together again, not wanting to let you go. So then what do you? do How do you move on? Post Reply
bigheartguy View Profile History	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 16 Nov, 2007 11:10 PM I can tell you one thing that the only way too truly move on is to give it over to the Lord and trust him. The first step I can see from your post is letting go of the anger you have with your ex only them can you truly forgive him. One of the things that will always keep us apart from the Lord is unforgiveness it keeps us from letting the Lord work in your lives fully. Once you truly learn how to forgive and go to the Lord with questions you may find that he answers then He did with me. One thing on forgiving someone it does not mean that you have to forget what that person did just that you have forgiven then. I may also mean that you have to forgive them even when that person does not think or see that they did anything wrong. Post Reply
View Profile History	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 24 Nov, 2007 06:03 AM I've never been married and thus want the same in a woman. I want to have the same first experiences with a non-married person just as it would be for me, too. I also only want my own kids, and that being done in marriage, as God commands. So, any woman with a child, divorced or not, is not an option for me, at least for now. mark Post Reply
View Profile History	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 27 Dec, 2007 07:55 PM Thanks for your response. I know it is a difficult subject to discuss. Scripture is very vague on this issue. Especially when the husband is the one who divorced the wife and the wife was always faithful to him. I have looked to see what the Lord says about my situation, and it is vague. My husband was the one who was unfaithful, and so I feel like men view me as damaged goods because my ex decided to divorce me, and throw us out of his life. It was something that I did not want, nor ask for, nor deserve. I hope you understand that divorced moms are not damaged goods, they are an assett to help you not make the same mistakes they did, and I hope you take the time to find out why they are divorced. They can always use a friend. Post Reply
View Profile History	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 27 Dec, 2007 08:07 PM Thanks for your advice. Divorce is difficult and frustrating for all involved. That is why God did not intend for families to live like that. Forgiveness is easy to say, but hard to do. Anyone can say "I forgive you", but to truly do it takes time. It is something I am working on. Unfortunately the courts make it so that you are constantly having to deal with a person who doesn't want to let go. I have turned the whole thing over to the Lord numerous times, but the ex keeps taking it into his own hands. In which I have to keep giving it to the Lord. it is finally settling down. I asked the Lord to take it and keep it in his hands and to not let either me or my ex take it into our own hands anymore. I think it is working... ***SIGH*** I can't wait for the Rapture!!! Then marriage won't be an Issue because Christ will be my husband! I have to keep reminding myself that I am now the Bride of Christ, and he is waiting for the right time to come back to get me......I am ready any day now!!! Post Reply
jackien View Profile History	What to Christian guys truly think about divorced moms? Posted : 17 Jan, 2008 05:25 PM Oh my... Where should I begin?! First of all being divorced or a single mom doesn't make you a horrible person. God only knows the situtation. However, the most important thing is to forgive your spouse who did wrong to you. If you don't forgive him or her, you won't be able to move on. You will carry a lot of hatred in your heart. Secondly, you should date anyone for a while ( who knows what's a while.. maybe 3 months.. 1 yr.. everyone is different.) That's between you and God and when your heart is healed to move on. HINT.. If you don't bash your spouse, you are in the healing process. Also, try to attend a divorced recovery class, it will help ! The bottom line... it's okay to date a single mom or a divorced woman. You never know what God has in stored for you! Post Reply

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