Author	Thread: Is he looking for just friendship
chele34 View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 03:47 PM Hi I would like some advice on emails. I've been talking to this guy for months. We were talking alot and even sending texts. We finally went out a few weeks ago and he said he was looking forward to going out again. He also has brought up about wanting to go away. I told him I need more then one date to do that and he said ok. But since then we are talking less and I'm not quite sure to think. On our date, I was very nervous and didn't finish my lunch. I haven't dated in a long time and I was so nervous. He is a really nice guy. Is it possible that he has changed his mind and doesn't want to tell me? The guy and I haven't really talked about prior relationships. I have asked him if he still is interested in being more then friends and he said yes. But again we are talking alot less. Any suggestions would be great. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 04:19 PM That's always a tough situation. I'd say just ask him or talk to more about it to clarify, but it does seem like you did your part in asking if he saw you as more than just friends. If I really like a girl, there's almost nothing she can do to mess up the relationship(then again, I put a big weight on heart, I'm attracted to one's heart for Christ)... I just hope he has the courage to be honest, even if it may or may not be what you were looking for, as long as it's honest...it's just me but I think clear communication is key(assumptions and miscommunication is hard to deal with), also making a person not feel cornered either. I wish you the best~ Post Reply
chele34 View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 04:37 PM Thank yoy for the advice. One more thing, I have asked about getting together for a movie, pizza. I never hear anything back. Should I let him decide on going out? Post Reply
CuddleBunny View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 07:44 PM If he is ignoring your questions or showing obvious signs of disinterest, then he is trying to tell you something. It seems as if he is in a hurry to get the ball moving in a relationship, and when you tell him he needs to slow down by waiting for more dates (spending more time together) then I believe that's when he kind of gave up on you. If this is so, just know that you're not the one with the issue. Some people are just desperate to be in a relationship and get married and want kids right away without taking the time to sit back, relax, and actually enjoy the whole experience of getting to know a person and spending time with them. So, my answer is: I don't think he is looking for friendship. I think he is looking for a way out, slowly but surely. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 07:45 PM I suppose this could be a test of his true feelings/colors(if he's not answering, etc.). I don't know the situation, but from what it sounds like he may be he's trying to draw his distance.. which is sad, but again I don't know the situation, hope you clear it out with him. Best regards~ Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 09:10 PM What do you mean when you said that "He also has brought up about wanting to go away"? I might be able to give better advice if you can clarify that statement. Overall, though, I think I pretty much agree with what CuddleBunny said. Post Reply
View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 11:37 PM It doesn't sound like he's looking for anything anymore. Just kinda in a whatever state of mind. Post Reply
MyCrownIsGod View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 11 Oct, 2011 11:38 PM The long and short of it is, he was looking to "hook up" on this weekend away, and you turned him down on that, so he is probably busy trying to catch the interest of some other woman who will give up their goodies more willingly. He's distanced himself on purpose, no matter his excuse. Don't waste your time on him, if he is ignoring the opportunity to spend more time with you, then he is trying to do the "slow fade" until you get the hint and give up...because he's not man enough to just come out and tell you the truth. You deserve to be with a man that will respect you, take the time to really get to know you, and jump at the chance to spend time with you when you offer it. Until then, you are better off being single, than to be with someone who won't really be there for you. Post Reply
chele34 View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 12 Oct, 2011 04:10 AM we have been talking since April. We finally went out a couple of weeks ago. Before and after we met, he brought up about wanting to go places together. Going away on trips, dinners. Since we went out, he talks less. When I don't contact him, he will contact me, but whenever I bring up about going out, he will ignore the question but still talk to me. I asked him last week if anything changed. I asked if he was still interested in being more then friends and he said yes. I can be ok with just friends but don't say something if you don't mean it. Post Reply
chele34 View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 12 Oct, 2011 04:34 AM We still talk from first thing in the morning till bed, but just not as much back and forth Post Reply
Statie View Profile History	Is he looking for just friendship Posted : 12 Oct, 2011 04:42 AM If you have been communicating with this guy for 6 months -- I would think by this time you'd have some familiar rapport with him. If not, then perhaps you are both barking up the wrong tree. Instead of asking people NOT privy to your situation what his actions vs. his words are telling you -- why not just ask him and more directly? Do so either in person or on the phone so as to not leave yourself open to more confusion based on the potential ambiguity of a textual conversation. If you know you will be nervous approaching him with this topic -- make a list of all the things you are confused about and use that as your directional map to lead the conversation into an area where you get your questions answered. If he is unwilling or incapable of being forthright with you -- that should be an indicator of how he deals with tough conversations. No one initially enjoys starting frank conversations. They are uncomfortable and if you are not careful can backfire on you. However, relationships -- good ones all have something integral to their success and that is COMMUNICATION. If you cannot communicate with this guy now -- either due to his unwillingness or inability to do so -- it's not going to get easier later on until you cross that bridge. Responders in the forums can give you all the advice in the world but the matter of the fact is--unless you get the information you desire to know directly from the person you desire to know it from--the rest is all speculation. Good Luck! Post Reply

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