Thread: why do guys hate me and why are guys so mean?
Admin
why do guys hate me and why are guys so mean?
Posted : 27 Aug, 2011 03:17 AM
I don't get why guys hate me and use me and hurt me and take advantage of me and why guys lead us girls on and pretend to be interested but not really be interested. I'm so sick of guys and relationships and games and guys playing around. I want a guy that will truly be interested in me and want to be with me and want to get to know me and give me a chance.
Hmmm....perhaps their dislike of you stems from your childish...petulant personality. I read the thread: be aware of jruss0379 and I was not impressed. In that thread you publicly took out your emotional angst against a fella from this site and did not back it up with facts. You did so in 5 separate postings when one would have sufficed. Whilst that probably served to help you blow off steam it makes you appear scorned, emotionally immature and unable to process rejection in a healthy positive manner.
Seeing only the negative aspects of any situation can cause you to miss opportunities, neglect problems that need to be solved, and fail to take action that would otherwise improve your relationships and quality of life. Stop thinking negatively about what is happening to you and start thinking positively about what you can make happen. If you're not happy with the way your life is now and the relationships you have, set goals and move on. Use your past negative experiences to build character and make better decisions.
You create your own circumstances in life and to that end placing the blame for being taken advantage of by someone else....repeatedly by many men from what you said, would lead me (the reader) to believe you are quite adept at "playing the victim" by placing blame on others for your own shortcomings. In a relationship there are at least two people, whilst you cannot be responsible for his actions, you can certainly be responsible for your own. If you find that your relationships are filled with turmoil and end badly leaving you to feel led on...or played perhaps you are attracting the either the wrong type of men or maybe something about your personality, your "victim mentality" dooms your relationship from the get-go.
Maybe it's time you take a hard look at who Airlinegirl is. Find out what it is about you that allows your relationships to sour. Therapy is a great way to learn about who you are as a person...and what makes your tick...including what your triggers are for depression and self loathing. If you cannot afford that, try reading some self-help books that allow you to take stock of whom you are...and whom you wish to be. Read books on empowerment and self-improvement/positive thinking. The bible is a great manual to fall back on when you need direction in life. Spend a bit of time reflecting on your past relationships before you hop into another one. Figure out what you have done to negatively impact a blossoming love so that you don't do yourself further disservice and sabotage any future opportunities. Spend some time really accessing what it is you want in a relationship with a man and the type of male that will meet those needs and desires.
Knowing what you want in life will allow you to focus on those goals and aspirations. You WILL find that you will draw into yourself what it is you focus on. Focusing on the positive aspects of life will not only improve your mindset in regards to other people, it will improve your outlook about yourself. Life involves taking many risks every day, and not all of them will end positively. That's what defines risk. But the flip side is that RIGHT ACTIONS tend to lead to good results and a happier life. God bless.
Ms. Oshea has given you some Excellent Advice. If I were you...I'd Print it and Post it by your Mirror.
I am certain that someone at some time in your life has given you �Tough Love� (at least I Hope So). Well�you are about to �receive� some more.
I read your Profile and there is an �Immaturity� beyond what would be expected at your age and a �Naivet� that speaks to perhaps a �Sheltered� Life (doting Parents�perhaps?).
For instance�you give out (what I can only assume to be) your Phone Number!
Dear Lord�do you Realize what I (and anyone else that is Internet Savvy) can do with that Information?
You are still Very Much a Child. I would seek Counseling from an Adult you trust and have Confidence in�to assist you in Maturing�and one of the First Things I would do (if I were you)�is to
Yes, I met the guys and they hurt me emotionally and took advantage of me and, I'm so sick and tired of that happening. I'm sorry if it came across as lashing out, I was just trying to prevent other girls from experiencing what I did.
I've learned in my short life, that people treat you how you tell them to treat you. If you lack confidence and are not selective in a mate, they are bound to let you down. Why? Because you set yourself up for failure. WAIT upon the Lord and learn who you are. When you are confident in yourself and are PREPARED for a relationship emotionally, physically and spirtually, God will provide in HIS timing. This life is not about us. Marriage is not about us. Everything is about how to best glorify the Lord. If He's not ready to use you in that capacity, then He will not. He's even more choosy when it's those who love him. Love God, love yourself. Eventually, Love will find you.
I completely understand your frustration. But O'Shea and some of the guys on here are giving you great advice.
I can easily say the same thing. I am an AMAZING man...yet have had relationships not turn out at time and sometimes felt used. But remember these words..."What you focus on Expands." If all you are focusing on is the negative in your life you will attract more of it. When you begin seeing yourself as the amazing woman of God that you are then you will attract the amazing man of God that you are looking for.
You: I don't get why guys hate me and use me and hurt me and take advantage of me.
Me: Too vague. Can't help with this one.
You: and why guys lead us girls on and pretend to be interested but not really be interested.
Me: They haven't made up their mind and are looking for a reason to be interested. It's called dating. Trust me we don't get out of our beds every morning and rub our hands together thinking of ways to hurt your feelings.
You: I'm so sick of guys and relationships and games and guys playing around.
Me: I used to think the same about women. Now I think anytime anyone says/thinks this 98% of the time it's a misunderstanding. Settle down. Take a step back. And get to know them for who they are before putting all your hopes and dreams into them.
You: I want a guy that will truly be interested in me and want to be with me and want to get to know me and give me a chance.
Me: And you shouldn't settle for less. One thing that I did that helps with this is seeing it from the other perspective, and do a self inventory. Honestly and objectively ask yourself "Why would some one be interested in me?" and go from there. It's going to take some work and patience, but it'll be for the best. Also, you sound frustrated and when people get frustrated is because they don't know what they can do. So find something you can do and focus on that. You know dating and relationships aren't easy for anybody right? Anyway, I hope this helps and wish you success.
