When I decided to open an account here in CDFF, I was not expecting that it will be a bed of roses. Just like any other websites, it's teeming with sharks and scammers of all sorts. However, I, undaunted, and unrelenting in faith nevertheless pursued the thought that somehow, I could meet a guy who is genuinely inspired by God.
To start with, I have met men here from all walks of life and the common denominator that led me to share a little part of my life by every email and chat is their love for God. If a guy says that he is a follower of Christ, or believes in the Bible, I would take a look and try and hope that, maybe, just maybe, he could be the ONE.
Unfortunately, the men I thought are Christians proved to be otherwise. One guy is a professional and hardly ever knows the meaning of HUMILITY. Another one is a professional too, believes so well in the Bible, regularly goes to Church. Sadly, he believes that women, before marriage, can be disposed of if he thinks another one comes along. In short, it is subject to his DISCRETION - wholly.
A few more professed that the Bible has been their breakfast, lunch and dinner. Surprisingly, I would receive messages from them describing my body, so crass and without regard to my value as a woman.
Now, I am left with no recourse but to fall into the ill-fated loss of trust. I somehow think that this is God's way of telling me that married life is not for me. Lingering in my mind is the question, Why do men play around and hurt women? Don't they have mothers and sisters who are women too? Don't they know that women succumb to the fragile state of being heartbroken and to the worst pain that mankind has never imagined? Have they realized that someday, somehow, they will have DAUGHTERS who will fall in love and they would wish that they meet men who will respect them as women?
This question of mine is hardly ever answered in a manner that would really have me open my heart again. This question, is even far more difficult than the bar exams I took in the past. It is ABSOLUTE ENIGMA. UNFATHOMABLE but TRUE. I hope I could receive an answer that would help me understand.
Well most of the guys are really like that and I don't know why they are like that even some christian guys. I understand what you feel right now and I know it really hurts. But it doesn't mean that everything is end there already. Just don't lose hope and faith in God because our faith is not all about us,it's all about HIM. You don't have that right guy now but God prepared it already for you all you have to do is wait patiently and don't stop praying, until when? until God give it to you. Always remember that God's love never fails, never gives up and never runs out on us. I'll pray for you baby...
read my response to the Thread before this one you would have a better understanding of why men "Play".
It's simply because most men
"Never Grow Up"!
The term Arrested Development fits them.
It could be from a Overly Doting Mother that did and gave them EVERYTHING! That told them "How Wonderful" they are.
Or perhaps they never had to be Responsible for their actions. Whatever the reason...these men see Life Differently then most people.
In their Reality...this World was Created FOR THEM! They make the rules...they are the Predators and women are their Prey and a Website like this one is a Fertile Hunting Ground for them.
They will Lie...Cheat...Steal...Abuse and Use Women (and others too)...all while clasping The Bible Firmly in their hand.
To them God is just a "Tool"...a "means" to the end result they want.
I know that sounds quite bad...but it is Reality.
CDFF trys very hard (and they do weed out a lot of them)...but the Ones that are the Worst are the Ones that slip through until they Expose themselfs (oftentimes too late).
My suggestion is to Go Slowly...test them (all men)...make them Prove to you their Worth and their Veracity.
Time is Key...none of them can maintain their Facade for very long...they will slip up and show their Fangs.
I am sorry that any of you have to endure this...but...it may just be worth it if you do find that Right Man.
God proves good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly Hope, quietly Hope for help from God.
I'm with Archimedes. Not all people who believe they are Christians even know what they believe, and they fall to the desires of the world. Some simply like to use Christianity as a facade for finding a certain kind of woman, or life, or anything. I haven't quite had the problem you are describing, but I feel bad for your situation. I just try to be careful of whom I talk with. Even the ones that say all of those 'good things' about their relationship with God can have some bad attitudes that prove that their relationship is not as 'good' as they think it is. Mostly I look out for self-righteousness, they can be the worst.
Sorry for your bad time, not all men are like this, and I am sure you will find one someday. Sometimes God's answer is to wait, but whatever you do, just place your trust wholly in Christ and He alone can guide you. Have a wonderful day!:)
"Now, I am left with no recourse but to fall into the ill-fated loss of trust. I somehow think that this is God's way of telling me that married life is not for me. Lingering in my mind is the question, Why do men play around and hurt women? Don't they have mothers and sisters who are women too?" --babymilkskin
"Well MOST of the guys are really like that and I don't know why they are like that even some christian guys." --eihcnem bong
"If you would read my response to the Thread before this one you would have a better understanding of why men "Play". It's simply because MOST men "Never Grow Up"! The term Arrested Development fits them. They will Lie...Cheat...Steal...Abuse and Use Women (and others too)...all while clasping The Bible Firmly in their hand.
To them God is just a "Tool"...a "means" to the end result they want." --Archimedes
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Whenever you use the word MOST as it precedes the following naturalistic observation...MOST MEN, MOST WOMEN, even MOST PEOPLE, you are attempting to offer up empirical evidence as fact when it is clearly skewed by researcher bias. Additionally, "MOST" as a measurement of any one group simply cannot be measured accurately unless of course you actually know MOST MEN. The world is a big place so I highly doubt that. You could however narrow the scope of observable males and limit your comments to MOST MEN I KNOW or have known. To that end, your observations and subsequent comments about MOST MEN would simply be indicative of YOUR own experience and not a factual finding of MOST WOMEN.
In my experience using online dating specifically this site, I have found MOST of the men I have encountered in the chat rooms, corresponded with or chatted up in IM, have been quite decent people overall. Good Christians in the making, as it were. Granted, I have come across a handful of miscreants too --oh well, there is always the BLOCK feature through the mail settings and the IGNORE feature in chat. I use them both liberally, lol.
I don't believe that MOST men "Lie...Cheat...Steal...Abuse and Use Women. I believe that SOME do. Also, I don't believe that these unchristian behaviors are simply indicative of men...SOME women behave in this way as well. I daresay there are a number of men on this site alone that could attest to that.
Milkster my friend, I can understand your disappointment when taking the time to get to know a man and finding him to be less than what you originally had hoped. This is why discernment and prayer are critical in assessing the character of man you might find of interest beyond your initial perception of him. A good man will stand the litmus test of time...a not so good one will prove otherwise as you have found.
An intelligent woman such as yourself who uses wisdom and good judgment in practicing discernment should also know that you cannot judge ALL MEN or even MOST MEN by the actions of a few, even if that proves to be a few dozen. There are good men out there. Wonderful, intelligent, strong, kind faithful christian men. You have just not met that man God has chosen for you. Don't think this is God's way of telling you married life is not for you. This is God's way of telling you the men you chose to share a bit of your time with are NOT marriage material. Unfortunately, it seems by the time this is revealed to you, you have already developed an emotional attachment. When it doesn't work out, you are left feeling vulnerable and hurt.
Spending time wondering "Why do men play around and hurt women?" will not garner you useful enlightenment because it will not change those men that do. All you can do is pray for them and move forward with the knowledge that he is not the right man for you. Let your disappointment go...give it up to God. If you don't, you risk skewing your positive outlook and your willingness to be open to the opportunity of finding that guy "who is genuinely inspired by God" and who God has provided you. :)
(Unfortunately, the men I thought are Christians proved to be otherwise. One guy is a professional and hardly ever knows the meaning of HUMILITY. Another one is a professional too, believes so well in the Bible, regularly goes to Church. Sadly, he believes that women, before marriage, can be disposed of if he thinks another one comes along. In short, it is subject to his DISCRETION - wholly.)
Met a few of them myself. Do not get discouraged, there are Men that are serious about a true relationship out there in Cyber Space .
Just weeding out the Bad character Men is not a easy job. God does have Men, who have good Godly character.
lets be honest hear it goes bouth ways ther are women out ther that play around to its hard to find a person that is true and faithfull but somewher out ther is a person for everyone
