Author	Thread: Being divorced must be like having the plague...
Admin	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 4 Jul, 2011 06:43 PM Why are single mom's and divorced women so unappealing to men? Seems kind of judgmental and slightly biased... Post Reply
View Profile History	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 4 Jul, 2011 07:01 PM Seems kind of judgmental and slightly biased... Anything that keeps you from dating someone is �kind of judgmental and slightly biased�. Sometimes there is a good reason for it, and sometimes there is not. In many cases the men do not want to deal with the family situation. It�s not his family and he would rather not get in the middle of things. I�m not saying this is right, just stating why many men would stay away. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 4 Jul, 2011 10:42 PM why do you feel that way, what gives you that impression? Post Reply
i_live_in_canada View Profile History	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 4 Jul, 2011 11:59 PM Well it's there loss then. Such a pretty lady some smart man will snatch you up. Post Reply
View Profile History	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 06:58 AM I have received comments about my child and the fact that if I were not divorced I'd be a "real treasure". I even had one man tell me that because I was divorced I was an adulturer and he could NEVER date me. On the contrary to both of these statements, I know my value and worth. And I had biblical grounds for a divorce, even though I was not the one who wanted it. Post Reply
View Profile History	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 08:17 AM Well there are only a few reasons for a Biblical divorce, otherwise you would be an adulterer. But, it was wrong of him to accuse you if he never asked the reason behind your divorce. I know for me, having never been married (or even in a relationship for that matter) I would prefer someone who has never been married. But, I can also tell you that there are WAY more divorced people near your age than there are those who have never married. It would seem to me that it would be easier for you to find someone than it would be for me. Post Reply
View Profile History	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 11:15 AM @OP: Being divorced or having kid(s) already isn't necessarily the problem - we're just wary of the statistics in western marriages! http://www.metro.co.uk/games/nemi/ (july 5th) is apt, considering the amount of divorces happening and general attitudes towards lifelong commitment. I'm not saying this is relevant in your case (or many others) though... Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 01:13 PM I know how you feel, although i never had a woman outright tell me some of the hurtful things that you have heard they just run or ignore me, never knowing that my ex was unsaved and left, never knowing I tried against my wishes to reconcile for my God, never knowing that my children are well behaved, never knowing alot of things. Heck even single moms run, i mean its not like a custodial Dad can get a play date, w/o arousing the suspisions of a woman, and there isnt many single custodial Dads around. I feel the stigma of being expected to find another divorcee, but than its not that easy. On my end alot of women become too independant, and grow used to...idk having the reigns all the time. Or, they never figured out how they failed on their end, and go into other relationships making the same mistakes. There is alot of repair that God has to do, and must be done before one is ready for another relationship. Than there is the question of; will the children/child accept me, will they accept my authority, can the mom and I come to an agreement on how to raise children. One of my chief concerns is equal treatment of children, and having the full ability to be a father and not have to treat one group of children differently than the other, or have my children treated unfairly. Finally the ex; what factor do they play. Than again if one never seeks, if a man or woman never finds out how will they ever know, and to view us as drama might be to fail to see the work God has done in our lives... Post Reply
View Profile History	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 5 Jul, 2011 02:47 PM Well said Rabbit! I know as for me, I have become use to the peace and quiet that comes into a home after a non-believer leaves. I don't want to be independent, but I have to be. And then as you said, I have to be on my guard (that's where discernment comes into light), when it comes to a man around my child. Some people are so passive about who they allow their child to be around...and we wonder why the abuse rate (aside from moral conduct) is so darn high. Back to my original point though, it is their choice whether single, or divorced to be with a divorced mother or father. I personally have no drama or baggage and have went through a healing process for the last five years. Lord knows I don't want to pack anything from a previous marriage into another one. I think a lot of peoples opinions and views are based on hear say and seeing others poor choices. I guess in the meantime, I will be waiting on the Lord for the right man for us. Going through an unwanted divorce is bad enough without being treated poorly again. Post Reply
apcameron View Profile History	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 6 Jul, 2011 06:44 PM Its not just divorced people who folks seem to avoid. They also seem to avoid those of us who are Widowed as well. Its almost as if we have a warning sign on our profiles :stop: :glow: Post Reply
View Profile History	Being divorced must be like having the plague... Posted : 7 Jul, 2011 10:41 AM There is almost as many divorced people on Christian datesites as there are single people. Maybe there is another reason for why people do not want a relationship with that individual, maybe some information on there Profile. Are maybe their photo or Children, etc. Bottom line, people do not look at the heart of the person first. They want Nice Photos, and close to perfection as they can get in the other person they are seeking. (JMO) Post Reply

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