What does it mean to be submissive. I said i ask this question simply because i would like to hear opinions, and understand what it means to each person.
Submission according to the dictionary simply unresistingly or humbly obedient. I would like to define a conclusion i have come to.
I take my conclusion from Ephesians 5 21 -31 NLT. I read it over an over again, and i feel i got a clarity on this topic.
Verse 21 simply says Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Verse 22-24 tells the woman to submit to her husband in everything.
Verse 25 -29 For Husbands this means love your wives comparing it to how Christ loved the church.
There are some bible passage I would put in this context. 1 Corinthians 11 in some verses
like verse 8 emphasizing woman was made from the Man's Rib
Verse 9 Emphasizing the role of a woman as a helpmate and been made to assist the man
Before Men get arrogant
Verse 11 emphasizes that we are not independent of each other.
1 Peter 3 emphasizes Men to treat women with honor. This is plainly stated that she is an equal Partner emphasizing treating her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
I know most of this bible passages are clear to understand nothing confusing about it. It's just hard for men who want authority and don't want to be accountable to a woman. It is hard for a woman in this time of ours simply because the world has seen men as dictators and women need to win their rights back.
In the Kingdom of God we are all joint heirs no one is greater than the other.
Men are to submit to their wives and honor them. Ephesians 5:21 mentions us to submit ourselves to one another. It didn't emphasize just men but also women. Neither did it mention women submitting to women alone not men.
So the first step is submitting to each other.
1 peter 3 1-2 gives the advice to the woman simply you must accept the authority of the Man. Even if the man is not acting right you need to accept his authority. It very similar to having a boss. A good Boss listens to you and serve you as well gives clear directions. If the Good Boss becomes Bad You still have to obey him simply because he has given authority and it must be accepted. No talking of abusive spouses
Ephesians 5:25 Clearly talks to the man Love your wife. If we go by the attributes of love according to 1 Corinthians 13 we men would love their wives regardless of how they behave. Not dependent on how good they perform or satisfy our standard. We won't keep any record of ills we have to be patient, Kind, not be jealous of them even if they have more success. We cannot become irritable, We cannot demand our own way. We can never give up on them and we must endure in every circumstance when they look best and appealing and those days they become overweight or have stretch marks or become all wrinkled up or when they are ill and can't satisfy our desires.
IF we love our wives before making any decision we would consult them and put them ahead in our thoughts. think of how does it affect them.
1 Peter talks of the woman as a weaker vessel. If we have junior ones we teach them and tolerate them because we know they are young, possibly naive and have more to learn. We encourage them even when they make mistakes.
I believe as Men who would want to be authorities in their house. We have to first be a servant (not a slave) For Example Our President is our Servant simply because he serves our interest. he is not a slave who has no opinion of his own. Jesus was the perfect example of a servant. Knowing the authority he had chose to die for us, washing his disciples feet.....
When we become a servant that's when we can lead. When our wives see that we take decisions putting them into consideration, been able to handle situations and take charge and accept responsibilities. When our motives are clear as to whom we have allegiances to, when we shower them with affection. It helps a woman submit easily. If Men don't have their act together or take authority and responsibility it's hard for a woman to submit.
We may push them to having to fill in the gap we have created by differing authority to them automatically.
Women please don't marry a Man you don't trust his decisions or leadership in all areas, even though you love to be submissive you won't be submissive. Simply because you can't trust him with authority, your human mind works into overdrive you tend to take charge. The man sees you as controlling or not submissive.
Men Please don't marry a woman because she is beautiful. Don't use your money, charisma or any appealing characteristics to attract a woman. Those things wear off after living together for a year. If she doesn't believe in your leadership, decisions nor respect your occupation and financial capability. Please don't do it, you will end up regretting it. She would continually compare you & undermine your authority.
To all we can't fix ourselves talk less of fixing the other person. The only person with that Job Title is the Holy Spirit. Please lets depend on Him to change, mold, and refine our heart to continually trust in Jesus to lead us and our families. If we put God first in everything even though our marriages may not be perfect it would have peace, joy, and above all bring glory to the father.
Dear brothers, if I may give my view of the 'what's the big deal with submitting?', it has to do with putting your life in the hands of another human being. This is something usually reserved for children and slaves. As we become adults we grow and learn to make our own decisions and be responsible for our own lives. Submitting takes away your adult autonomy. Therefore, the quality of that type of relationship is COMPLETELY dependent upon the mental and spiritual health of the one you are to submit to.
To submit to an all-knowing, life-giving, completely unconditionally-loving Almighty Creator is one thing :yay:, but to submit to another human being who is just as limited, just as flawed, just as conditional, just as mistake-ridden, just as broken as we are... is a whole other position! :rolleyes:.
It is not just one little thing... it is everything! A woman's whole life (sometimes quite literally), her heart, her home, her town, her health, her work, her finances and savings, the lives of the babies she nursed, her hobbies, her ministry, her leisure time, even her taste in music and clothing can be enhanced or stifled by the one she is to 'submit' to. We (men and women) grew up in a broken world and have adopted broken habits, and many have been severely hurt in one or more of these areas. Combine that with a romanticised view of what love and marriage supposed to be about, and well...
Unless BOTH partners are NOT looking to the other for affirmation, love, acceptance and fulfilment, but to God alone, and instead are only GIVING affirmation, love, acceptance and lifting the other up to become all that God has for them to be on this earth, how can the "love your wife as Christ (died for) loved the church" and "submit to your husband" even happen? That takes a whole lot of back-bone and serious submission to God from both parties! I believe that most woman want to have a strong man who will love and protect her, but she has more often experienced abuse of power and selfishness.
That is the crux, anyway.
Given that most profiles are all about the "love and romance and warm fuzzy feelings" and not about this kind of self-sacrificing "acting in the other person's best interest no matter what it costs me or if it is reciprocated" kind of love, it's just hard to imagine something so God-ordained coming from such goo-goo-eyed thinking.
It is the kind of relationship I hope to have some day. God alone knows the plans He's made for me. Or you!
Yea I agree that the thought of submitting to a husband who is not perfect is a scary thing. You also must trust in the promises that God has for believers...that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him. You are doing it to the glory of God, not because the husband deserves it or has somehow earned it.
You would be wise to understand that the defenses you are sensing from your sisters very likely has to do with abuse of power from the males in their lives. They've been hurt. God does not promise to protect you from a right hook or being belittled constantly, only that He'd work some good in the end. Even Christ knew the good that would come from going to the temporary gravesite, but was not looking forward to what he was going to endure as He made His way there.
I've surprised myself at how this topic has raised alarms in my own heart. I guess I have not yet healed. I am the type to go way above the call of duty in this area, supporting, encouraging, even learning the lingo of my man's work so he could talk to me at the end of the day without having to explain things. Listening carefully to his heart. Letting him take the lead when a major decision is to be made. I have fallen in love twice in my life, 20 years apart, and both times the men ended up abusing the position and eventually wandering away from God Himself.
The key part to your scripture is the second part... "who are called according to His purposes". We need to pick husbands based, not on our feelings and emotions and how they make us feel at the time, but who are called by God to be in a self-sacrificing relationship, first submitted completely to God in all things, and the type of man who will pick us not for how we make them feel, but with the vision of sacrificing his life for God's sake, in the form of a relationship! Then I can 'let loose' with the God-ordained help-matishness I was born to live! :yay:
Not popular words for a "dating" site, I'm sure! :rolleyes:
{first submitted completely to God in all things, and the type of man who will pick us not for how we make them feel, but with the vision of sacrificing his life for God's sake, in the form of a relationship! }
I am sorry for all you ladies who have been abused and hurt truly. I am really sorry for the hurt I personally caused in my immaturuty.
You have a option not to marry again. We believe because we have gone through divorce that God has another for us. This might not be the case for many of us.
Have you ever considered that the past hurt you experienced is to great a burden to bring into another relationship? Have we considered that the wound is to sensitive to allow our selves to become vaulnerable to another?
Marriage is about being vaulnerable whether you are the helper or the one need of help. I would dare to say that men are in a more or at least as vaunerable position as women.
It is not easy for us to reach out for help it is not easy for us to admit our weaknesses. To seek help from a wife and admit failure does not come easy to us men.
We both have things that are difficult and that cost us in relationship but the rewards I believe far exceed the cost.
God highly exalted Jesus for the cost He paid and God will exalt us in relationship as we learn to pay the cost as well.
Brother, I have been living "not marry again" for over 22 years. I do it quite well. The last love I knew (and second in my life) ended suddenly last year without marriage, though I was expecting it to go that way. We had been nurturing a three year relationship, and I was comforting this dynamic and intuitive man of steel through a second bout with lung cancer. Turns out he met someone in the hospice center and married her in under 2 months. So, I am in a little shock.
Yes, the tenderness in this area of "thou shalt submit to me" is still there, and since you don't really deal with it in your singleness, you don't necessarily know it is still there. I was checking my spirit when I was with him. It will take a man who is tender hearted and fully submitted to the Lord in order to help me pull those walls down, as too I will need to be tender hearted and fully submitted to the Lord to help him heal in his areas of distress. We all have them. Beware the person who says they don't ... that's even worse, as you have suggested by evidence of the pain in your family tree.
I just want the chance to pour out my heart to someone while I still walk this sod, and have someone actually do the same to me in return.
:angel: Praise God for the men on here that are aware that submission is an act of Love from both partners even though God did place the man as the Head of the home...He is not to abuse his position and run his home as a dictator, he is to Love his family so much that the home is overflowing with happiness and contentment and love..and he is never to lock her in the garage because he thinks she is being unsubmissive. As the ex wife of an abusive Pastor, yes I said Pastor, I wanted to weigh in here...Marry a Godly girl and treat her like a princess...and she will treat you like a King...I believe...Amy
