I've had this conversation with my brother: why don't guys seem to want female friends? His response was that guys don't seek out female friends. He couldn't really give me an answer as to why not.
I think he's right because I've seen personal ads on other sites where men will basically say 'not looking for friends' or 'don't respond if you only want a pen pal.'
But, I'm wondering ... WHY? If neither person is seeing anyone and you could do social things with a female that you enjoy the company of but have no interest in- why wouldn't you?
Also, I guess my question would be directed more toward older guys ... as younger guys in their teens and 20's still seem to have friends that are women, but single men in their 40-50's don't.
I for one would like more female friends, if for no other reason than for some more diversity, as most of my friends are male. It hasn't been possible for me to have a social life the past six years due to school and working to pay off school bills, and pretty soon I'll be out in the real world, so I may not have time then. I suppose that is why I joined this site, and more specifically the forums.
I can't see why anyone, guy or girl, would not want friends of the other gender (Unless married, and that is a different story).
Whenever one and not the other expresses romantic interest, however, that changes everything, if the feeling is not mutual.
I think people who say "not looking for friends" is more of a way to filter out prospective responses. I see that as saying "Look, if you don't know what you want, and that translates into indecision for you, then you have to go through your own process, and I prefer not to be the one to coach you through it.".
You know what is funny about this is how often the one who does not share the feelings of the other will say "I just want to be friends." That is all well and good, but the one who says such a thing usually does not want to be friends at all....it is just a polite yet nonetheless surreptitious way of expressing "I am not interested in you.". If someone ever says that to you, you could call them on it and say "That's great, because as friends, we'd talk alot more and see each other alot more than we have been in this dating thing we tried!", and, then, of course, the truth comes out,
Better to just be candid, which comes from security in God, and no need to play the "just friends" thing or any other kind of game.
I suppose there is, apart from all of that, some truth to the fact that some people don't enjoy friendships with the other gender than their own. It could be based in practicality, or simply relating to the world differently and preferring others who relate in similar ways, etc. In the body of Christ, however, we are already more than friends, we are brothers and sisters, and called to look out for each other no matter what.
it is just that they eventually get their feelings hurts because they do not accept/understand that when they finally do get with that guy they been talking about for years,i will no longer be around,out of respect for my "brother of humanity"and their new found "exclusive" relationship...:waving:
