I'll be more specific, romance to women means: Being with someone who loves and cares for them, and usually looks out for them, and wants to sort of be attentive and kind to them, you know, someone who just sort of loves the person you are and your relationship with God, and wants to feel that way towards her husband.
Okay, now let's go over here to the opposite side of the track, I'm not a man, never going to think like a guy, so I'm going on testimony.
Men think: Practically, typically about their jobs and physical comfort from the woman, as a man wants a wife, I've heard a few of them say it's primarily for practicality, cooking and to have someone to be there for them -physically- and have children with, and sort of look after everything.
Okay, what I'm asking is, do men value romance at all, like women do? Or do you think it's pointless, maybe a little impractical or downright gross?
A man told me once that romance and love as women see it was like pornography is for men, mostly fantasy and based off of untrue conclusions on how men think.
I hope I haven't offended anyone, this is a rather deep topic, I guess. I really just wanted to know.
"That is true, opposites do attract, but disregarding anyone's feelings is a turn off no matter which way you look at it.
There is also such a thing as too opposite, if someone is so vastly different from you, you can't feel close to them, just as darkness is different than light"
Agreed, on both points.
I think God's design on us (opposites) was perfectly balanced, & in harmony. But as a result of the Fall, the sin nature has distorted self vs others. So much so, that people often disregard the feelings of others while pretending to care, and in self deception thinking that they do care.
"men will be lovers of themselves only"
Truly fallen and sick, and in need of a Saviour.
And that "too opposite" you speak of is probably the basis for the second truism: "birds of a feather flock together"
HATARI-swahili word that means DANGER.Anyway...on the topic...to me romance is more than the physical...a guy(my husband) should show appreciation,concern an respect to me an vice versa...all the three signal love...to me i.e
Nkatty, In the movie, John Wayne and his crew capture animals for sale. One of the guys in his team came up with a system where they use a rocket to quickly pull a net over a tree to capture the monkeys. Rockets are not that reliable, especially the home made type, so you can start to see why it�s called HATARI
Oh, Cobbler you were not suppose to tell!!!!!!! make the girls go buy the movie. Then they will get tips on romance on their own. :nahnah:
I like the movies from the 60's and 70's because the comedies did not have the lewd sex that todays comedies have.
They had great movies that were rated G that had a great story line.
Another series of movies to watch are the Doris Day movies.
I very rarely watch any movies that are made today that are comedies. I just do not like seeing people talk dirty and in bed all the time. The punch lines are stupid too.
i like old black and white movies and 1960's movies.
To be honest, I'm not really sure how to answer your question. I know from my standpoint, I don't view marriage as a matter of practicality so I don't think that defines all men's view on romance. Is it physical comfort? I suppose there is a good portion of that...I've often had the mental picture lately of waking up in the morning, walking out of the bedroom to find my (currently hypothetical) wife and just wrapping my arms around her....of course I probably think about sex more than is necessary as well so...(you can't see it but I'm shrugging).
All I know is that the last time I was in a relationship, nothing was more enjoyable than trying to scheme up things I could do to make her eyes just light up except for when I was actually able to pull that feat off. There's been a lot of comments about Pride and Prejudice. I read the book in high school and have seen the movie version with Kiera Knightley and have oft thought of Mr. Darcy in a "Man, I wanna be like that guy" sort of way. I think that sort of counts as liking romance in the sort of way you described doesn't it?
I don't think most guys find romance impractical, pointless, or gross...we just don't want our guy friends ribbing us for being soft/mushy.
What is �romance�? Is it something we would normally think of apart from the Lord? The world certainly does. Is it something we are even capable of? Or would it have to do with the presence of Christ within us? In the life of the believer, would romance be generated by our own feelings and emotions for another, or by Christ�s desire within us for our beloved husband or wife? "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me� Galatians 2:20
This is a past response of mine to a question someone posted here on CDFF. I�ve altered it as best as possible to fit this topic�
True love and romance? Between a woman and a man or between a woman and God, and a man and God where true love, passion, intimacy and �romance� begin and are sustained independently of any personal relationship? Including the relationship between a husband and a wife.
Note:
Want to know how a man or woman will view and treat you in the �future� within a potential relationship with them � just look at how �romantic� they are acting / being towards God ;)
If someone is treating God differently than they�re treating you when you meet them (more interested in you than they are the Lord), they�re most likely very fake and simply putting on a great act because you interest their flesh / sinful nature.
One of the Questions asked: Is groundwork needed for love / intimacy / �romance�?
My response�What type of groundwork are you referring to? Again, the groundwork laid by the Holy Spirit or that of a man? Groundwork laid that appeals to our flesh, is here today and gone tomorrow or unto the Lord by the leading of the Holy Spirit within us? A woman making love unto God or unto a man? Sustained by Christ or sustained by her husband? I do not desire a woman that is making love unto me (or being romantic). I am imperfect. I desire a woman that will make love to me unto the Lord and who thirsts for Christ in me. Especially in the midst of my trials when I may be weak, distant, hurt and possibly even cold. I would want a woman whose embrace and romance would lead me back to the Arms of my Creator�
Fire / romance? What other fire truly exists within anyone except that of the Holy Spirit and Christ Himself � the Author and Perfector of our faith, passion, intimacy � and �romance�? The world boasts of its fire all day long and of the groundwork it is able to lay, only to fall far short of the intimacy perfected by Christ between to persons.
Question asked �Are there women out there that are �push button� digital sexual clocks or is my thought right that most women are analog watches that need to be wound?�
My answer: I�ve learned to be a �push button� intimate clock unto my own spiritual Head, who is Christ. King David had also. Compared to the masculinity of God, I myself am a weaker vessel, as are all men. And I have come to understand this. David�s passion (romance) flowed from his intimacy with God, and his willingness to be vulnerable at all times before Him. David had learned to respond to God�s requests for intimacy (a type of wonderful romance) with him during every hour of every day and night, beautifully recorded throughout the Book of Psalms. Like midnight nudges to make love, the Lord has spoken to my heart many times when I was tired or hurt and did not want to respond. But the experience of learning to give myself freely and fully in those moments has become precious to me.
My point in all of this? Unless a man has learned to give himself lovingly to his Headship as a weaker vessel, he will struggle to lead and approach his wife in a similar way (being sensitive, patient, loving and �romantic� along the way). Unless a husband is allowing himself to be �washed� with the Word of God, Truth, Christ Himself, he will be unable to wash his wife and reveal within her that which is of great value. The wife of Proverbs 31. Christ within her. And it is only Christ within anyone that is capable of true love, desire, intimacy or �romance� . :winksmile:
