Okay � You�re still there, good, because usually by now the white guys start to leave � :laugh: ... But really ...
Ethnicity truly doesn�t matter to me and I�ve talked to guys across the whole spectrum. However, this problem only arrises when I talk to white guys, I�ve had varying responses like, �you know I could never introduce you to my parents, right?� Or, �I just wanted to know what it would be like,� as if dating another ethnicity would give them magical powers. When I go out and meet people, guys will talk to my white girlfriends, but seem to overlook me. Now, I�m wondering if that it because:
�black� is simply unattractive to them,
they fear the culture is different,
they assume I will be an �angry black woman,�
they are intimidated by me,
they�re scared I won�t like them because they are white?
I maybe overanalyzing the situation too much, maybe I�m just straight up ugly and boring and that�s why they�re not interested� :goofball:
And no need to say "they're the one missing out," lol, because I know God has someone in store for me. :MrT: "I pity the fool!" (ah, I had to, never thought I'd use that emodicon!)
So I guess my question is, why do white men not seem to be interested in me?
:stop: For the brothas reading I have nothing against you, I�m open to anyone as long as they are God fearing and it is evident by their fruit.
The following post will prove one thing: I have the right to remain silent but not the ability! :laugh:
You wrote "... helped your ancestors enslave my people"
Let me ask you this; How do you know it was "My" ancestors? My ancestors could of run the underground rail road, fought against slavery or at the very least never owned a slave and cast their votes accordingly.
The statement smacks of stereo typing and prejuduice. I know we may all look alike to you, but do you think that is really fair? It goes to show how ingrained this belief is....My ancestors?
You didn't rile me at all! But I will admit that it was a jab :boxing: that I often throw out while in debate to ruffle the feathers and keep things lively. How's that for honesty? :applause: Again, no intention of making anyone angry.
I have absolutely no idea what your ancestral lineage consists of. Your ancestors might have taken Harriet Tubman and nem in and everything! :laugh:
Tis true, Chakal. I don't know how many generations you have to have behind you before you considered 'pure' Hispanic, Oriental, etc..etc.. It would be interesting to research. As a scientist, that and many other questions will be asked when I get my turn to sit on Jesus' lap. :rocknroll:
Allow me to say that there is a huge difference between ethnicity and racism!
Racism is the "ability" to attribute bad things to (all) people of a specific race.
Ethnicity is strictly linked to your roots and culture. It is not a matter of skin colour at all. As a poster mentioned earlier, Germans and Italians are not at all the same, both consider themselves "white" though. Their difference is in the culture! That is why Germans are probably better off with Germans and Italians with Italians. But there are exceptions.
There is nothing wrong with being aware of the challenges that an inter-racial relationship brings to couples. This is not racism.
If you say you are black, you are in fact repeating how racists see you. But are you black really? Why would you call yourself black?
"Black" people do not only live in the USA.... they also live all over Europe, and all over South America. Do you think all these "black" women are being discriminated by white men because of the colour of their skin?
And on this very dating site there is an advertising for "black" sweet single women. Do you think that advertisement is only intended for black men?
On another thread people worry about being fat, here we worry about being black....
I think you are stirring the wrong pot here. You are who you are and you should be the first one to accept it.
If you are not happy with your skin, talk to God, as He created you like that. And if not all men want to date you, it is because you only need one right person in your life!
I think you are beautiful but appearantly you need other people to confirm that:
So once again
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
By the way, the skin issue is so very much the nineties.... your skin will only be looked upon when you point at it yourself. If you call yourself black.... you will be seen as black...
But you are the first afro-american person who calls herself black and thinks that other people look at her that way as well.
Not too long ago I was in one of the chat rooms here when an African American woman asked if I would ever date a black woman. When I answered yes, she said, "interesting." She never explained why she found my answer interesting.
I don't have a preference. As long as she loves the Lord and I find her attractive in more than one way, I don't care what her ethnicity is.
Ethnicity isn't a big issue for me. I care more about other areas in a person's life. I am turned off more by poor lifestyle choices than by someone's skin color.
All I will say to the author is to remember the children's sunday school song, "Jesus Loves the Little Children." We are all precious in His sight, regardless of skin color. God has someone for you, so just wait on His timing.
Hey, I'm black too...Or so called...Thought I choose not to term myself as "black" which to me is a racist word given to those of brownish or darker complexion during a time of extreme racism in our nation (though used in King Solomon's writings as well to decribe himself).
I ask you though my sister, doest the rejection bother you so much because you are just simply interested more in "white" men (so called) and not those of your own skin tone? I said that because most "black" women who are not interested in "white" men in the first place are not bothered by their rejection of them, because they do not experience it, having no interest in white men in the first place.
So to me it seems that your pain stems from your great desire to have a "white" man. I'm quite sure that you don't experience the same degree of rejection from those of your own skin color. But do you reject them because of your great desire for a white man?
I'm not judging you, that's GOD'S job, but I do ask that you search your own heart. You have a right, I feel to desire whom you will as long as it's not fornication, adultery, or some other sinful thing, but if others are not attracted to you due to your skin color, then ask yourself do you as well reject others who have the same skin color as yourself. If so, then look at your reasons and you might discover the reason of some others.
We all were made from One Blood, and as "African Americans" we usually have a mixture in us anyway. But I've found it quite normal for females who are not of the "brownish" skin tone to not be attracted to me, while those who are my color or close to it are. Yet I would not have my skin color to be any other way and I thank GOD for making me just as HE has, for I humbly and gratefully love all of Me.
Also, realize that desires of humans change. For those who are not attracted to those of our complexion today, may find us greatly attractive on tomorrow. :glow: dancingp:
But even if they don't, there is someone, somewhere who will. Maybe we should learn to appreciate those who do accept us, just as we are. In JESUS NAME. Amen.
I stopped posting because people were getting off topic and it became clear to me people were no longer reading the entirety of my post, so out of frustration I did not continue. For a while I had to �be angry and sin not,� so here I am, back with another response. Once again, you can read what I wrote to specifically to you, or the whole response.
Once again, please read the ENTIRE thread because it�s evident you (SOS and lovejoy) haven�t. I love being black. I love all skin tones. I love myself. This thread is a question as to WHY some people aren�t attracted to other ethnicities. If this doesn�t apply to you, then don�t respond or think of a reason as to why it may apply to someone. I�m truly tired of people assuming I must have low self-esteem because I want to engage in a �real� conversation and will not gloss over a topic, and just say �Oh they just don�t like it, okay.� I like to discuss and hear all opinions, and I do respect yours. Although I must say it was based on your misinformation from not reading my post in its entirety, or the thread in its entirety.
SOS4EMAILFRIEND:
You stated there is a difference between ethnicity and racism, which is why I titled this �Is ETHNICITY an Issue?� Race does not exist, it is a human construct lumping people of the same skin color together, despite their different ethnicities. So we are agreeing �
I�m not saying there is anything wrong with looking at the difficulties of an inter-racial relationship; I wanted clarification on what those were. If you read back, through the WHOLE thread, as I�m sure you haven�t because I find myself repeating myself, I just wanted someone�s perspective.
As for if I see myself as Black, of course I do! I see myself as many other things as well, female, daughter, sister, etc, but I do see myself as Black as it is most relevant to this conversation. As for the advertisements et cetera, I realize they are geared toward everyone, I never said that dating people of different races or not was wrong or right, I just wanted a discussion about it.
As I have also said, I am VERY proud to be Black, I don�t need anyone to tell me I am beautiful or otherwise, but thank you for your compliment. I do not need confirmation of my beauty, intelligence, or anything else of that matter. I am NOT, I repeat NOT, looking for approval by those who are not black, I just wonder why it is that they do not seem to be interested. A sociological question if you will. I just wanted to peer inside the brain of someone who WOULD NOT date me because I am Black, not hear the reasons why someone WOULD date me regardless of my ethnicity and/or race.
I have no problem with other people seeing me as Black because I am. To say it doesn�t exist or that you are blind to it is ignorant. I would much rather someone acknowledge me for who I am, the skin color that I have, and still treat me as a human, instead of saying it isn�t there. Just as a fat person might say, acknowledge that I�m not stick thin, and love me anyway. Don�t pretend I�m a size two and surprise me with clothing of the wrong size. Know me and love me for me.
And I am not African American� I do not know any ties to Africa (which is a continent with many countries and even more ethnicities,) If anything I would consider myself Jamaican-American as I identify with Jamaican culture more than anything else.
Once again, I urge you to read my second post because much of what you have said has already been addressed �
lovejoypeace777:
As I�m sure you�ve read through my previous response to SOS the rejection does NOT bother me, I�m simply asking WHY I was rejected. What psychological or sociological reasons are there? I am attracted to everyone, one skin color isn�t more beautiful to me than another, like some people could care less about curly or straight hair, I�m a sucker for curly/nappy hair. When it comes to skin color it doesn�t bother me, if you read the bottom of my first post, it said �For the brothas reading I have nothing against you, I�m open to anyone as long as they are God fearing and it is evident by their fruit.� There was even an exclamation point by it.
I do not have a great desire to be with a white man or a black man. Just a God-fearing man as previously stated. I do not reject others based on skin color, and as I have already stated once again, my question is, is there a deeper reason beyond just the skin color, or does skin color signify something else?
�black� is simply unattractive to them,
they fear the culture is different,
they assume I will be an �angry black woman,�
they are intimidated by me,
they�re scared I won�t like them because they are white?
If you were commenting on my comment where I mentioned an African-American, I'm sorry, but you misunderstood me. So, let's say your comment was addressed to me. Never did I say you were African-American. She could have been an Asian, European, what have you. I did not share that with you because I thought you were African-American, but rather because I found it to be a strange question, because I can care less about color of skin.
