Author	Thread: Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies?
Tulip89 View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 10:35 PM As Christmas draws nearer, it seems everybody wants to watch Christmas movies or Christmas specials. Supposedly they're all cheery and make everybody feel warm and fuzzy inside, but really they just make me sad. Christmas should be a wonderful time to celebrate the arrival of our mighty, powerful, glorious, and radiant King to vanquish Death and deliver us from its grip, the Christ we see in Revelation, but too often it is reduced to a holiday merely about loving each other, family, and all our problems being fixed by THINGS. I watch these movies, and while they aren't really full of anything blatantly bad, not only are the movies completely missing the point, but so many of the people watching them are too. As Christmas gets closer and closer, all this "Christmas spirit" makes me want to grab people and shake them until they realize what they're missing. Sadly, I can't figure out how to effectively communicate that to my friends, much less everybody else. Trying to is just a quick way to get called a Grinch. It's ok though. At least this Grinch has Jesus. Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 02:18 PM Godslamb, the people up here in the North are very closed in. They do not like it when you offer to help, the only time you can help them is when they request it. Basically, the only time I get a call from someone is when they want something, I never get asked to go do something with anyone, so yes, I do feel used. Even when I do volunteer for things, I always end up being alone. That is actually my spiritual gift, doing all the background stuff that no one likes, and not being noticed. But, you can only give so much before you burn out. I have spent over 20 years now working behind the scenes in the church, but whenever I am in need of something, no one has the time for me. All it is, is take take take. It is a lot like the Choice vs. Feelings argument in another thread. You have to have a little of both, it can�t all be just one or the other. I give and give, but when I need something, I�m just being selfish and self-centered. Like I have said so many times before, everything is always my fault. Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 02:51 PM Cob, I don't normally say this, but could God want you in another church? If you really feel like no one would ever care for you there, than maybe that is not the church for you. Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 03:16 PM I actually have moved to another church, but up here it takes about 2 years before anyone talks to you. Its the same no matter where you go. The attitude is that single people have all the time in the world to do things for married people. But married people are too busy with family to do anything with single people. Use them up and throw them away when they are burned out. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 03:43 PM Have you considered a smaller church? Does your church offer community groups? Have you talked to your pastor about your concerns? Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 04:17 PM The new church is small (about 45 people). It�s the New England culture, not the size of the church. The larger church did have different groups, but they tried to shove all the singles into one group, and that just doesn�t work very well. Have I talked to the pastor, yes, and sought counseling. They basically feel that God wants me to be single, and my purpose in life is to do everything for everyone else. I even asked my counselor to introduce me to his niece, and he stated that he felt God calling her to be single so that she could help out her parents. She is married now, BTW. For years they kept telling me that I should start an older singles group, since I complained that there wasn�t one. I told them that it would be a bad idea for a single man to run it because it could potentially lead to the appearance of impropriety, and the women might get a little worried about my motives. Some of the singles in the church along with the church admin finally got together to organize an older singles group, but no one really wanted to lead it. So, after weeks of not being able to find a leader, I said that I would at least try starting a Bible study/Fellowship time on Saturday evenings. Everyone thanked me for stepping out and taking the lead. Well, things started to go downhill fast after that. The biggest problem is that I really didn�t know very many of the older singles in the church, because nobody introduces singles to each other in the church. But, there was a single woman who had been there for a while who had a list of many of the singles. I tried to get her to give me the list of names, but she refused. So, I asked her to let everyone know about the meeting time, but she wouldn�t budge. I invited everyone that I knew and just started the meetings, just to get things going. The plan was to have a potluck meal at the start, then do a video Bible study (a very good series on Romans) and then finish up the night with fellowship time. Well, a few people showed up (as in 3) for the first few meetings, but they didn�t show up until after the scheduled time for the pot luck. The enjoyed the video, but then really didn�t feel like talking very much. After a few weeks of the meetings, I get called in by the church admin to his office. Turns out, the very same people that were thanking me for taking the lead were sending emails behind my back saying that they were �concerned� that I was just doing all this so that I could get a date. Instead of backing me up, the church admin insinuated that I was just doing it to get a date and refused to back me up and stop the rumors. I tried to keep it going, but no one showed up to the next meeting and I just gave up. I knew that I didn�t have the support of anyone, so there was no point in trying. For years I got accused of not trying, but I knew that the women in the church wouldn�t trust a single guy to lead the group. Sure enough, I was proven right (again) when I finally did try, and I got stabbed in the back. But it is all my fault. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 04:25 PM That sounds rough. I'm really sorry that happened. It doesn't sound like that church is very healthy. If that's the New England culture, have you considered moving? Perhaps Virginia, North Carolina, or even Georgia? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 04:32 PM Yeah, you really need to move south. Potlucks are typically well attended here...especially by Baptists! Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 04:35 PM I was thinking Texas. It is just that I have moved so many times in my life, and it just gets harder and harder each time. The one nice part is that since I work from home, I can move anywhere in the US as long as I am within 2 hours of a company office, and they have a bunch of them throughout the US, so financially it is easy (well, relatively easy). Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 04:38 PM Houston is going to be in the 60s tomorrow and the 70s on Friday. How could you not want to move to Texas? Haha Post Reply
View Profile History	Am I the only one who gets sad when they watch Christmas movies? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 04:52 PM Well I can relate to "no one calls me unless they want something" thing. I did technical support for 22 years. When I moved to California I decided to take the opportunity to do something different and I have a different job now. You have a lot of varied experience, Cobbler. I am still not totally buying your statement that you can't help anyone because people up there don't like it when you offer, but then I've never lived in New England. I think there are ways you can get around that, but God can take care of those kinds of details. God never promised us it would be easy, He just promised He would be with us. I hold tight onto that many many times. Post Reply

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