Author	Thread: If men only knew..
Rabbit32 View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 14 Oct, 2010 08:21 PM I had a random idea to play a new game, and if it takes off than I'll set one up over in the ladies dept :) So the game will go something like this If men only knew.. ...come over are lame. ...wmone really really dont like it when you send pictures of your groin to them or something like that, and any gender can chime in, but only for "if men only knew" :) Post Reply
View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 08:37 AM that asking right off "What are you looking for in a man" or "what do you do for fun" means you haven't bothered looking at our profile and too lazy to think of good questions. Post Reply
View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 10:21 AM Donthit.. its not the wanting to help us.. honestly its the lack of listening and allowing us to see the problem then if we ask for help by all means step in but more often than not we need to talk it out so we can work it through in our own minds.. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 12:55 PM if men only knew: when we say hurtful things its because we feel rejected and there is an underlying issue. that may pertain to both genders Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 01:29 PM I know, just sayin'. Is it really that bad that your significant other wants to help you? Isn't that good? Just seems like it would be better to read "oh, he loves me a lot" into it, instead of "oh, he's so dumb and annoying". I was just watching a movie where there was a couple sitting together and the woman says "I'm so thirsty", and the man silently gets up and gets her a glass of water, and then he got chewed out for being "domineering" and "chauvinistic" instead of just listening/sympathizing:laugh:. Sounds like a no-win situation. If we don't do things for her, then we don't love her any more and we're lazy/selfish. If we do things for her then we're controlling/chauvinistic. Maybe there is a middle ground:laugh:. Just seems silly to complain about a problem to someone that loves you and then get annoyed when they want to help. I guess men and women are just different. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 02:33 PM @Mark- The problem for me is if the guy isn't really listening. If he hears me out and gives me that shoulder to cry on and then gives me advice or wants to help fix it, that's fine. But when he cuts me off or rushes me through what I'm saying or shows signs of not listening, and just jumps right into Mr. Fix-it mode, I'm not happy. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 03:52 PM I can see your point, and I can even see the point that it could probably get annoying even if a man does listen and hear you out, but still wants to fix it. It's just the way I see some women react to it I guess...it's almost like they are choosing to believe their husbands are trying to be mean to them in some way by wanting to help with their wife's problems. I guess all I'm trying to get across is...when you come to your significant other with a problem you haven't solved yet, if he/she loves you, they are going to want to help you. Even if you tell them you're just "venting". That's just the nature of love. I just hate to see women/men treat their woman/man like they're ignorant or obnoxious when all they want to do is help the one they love. It's kind of a soap box...sorry for getting off topic... :peace::peace: Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 04:48 PM yes, that is something that cannot really be fixed because we are just wired differently. Men want to fix the problem so their wife wont be upset anymore. they usually arent good about all the emotional stuff so they tend to want to fix-it. We just want to be heard and get stuff off our chest and who better to tell than our best friend, who will love us through it all. We are looking for an ear and also some sympathy, a little nurturing....someone to hold us and say, "It's going to be alright, I'm on your side" we're just different :) Post Reply
View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 05:24 PM If men only knew that their pets should not come before the lady.:ROFL: Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 06:36 PM YEAH DENNIS!!!!! The cats gotta go...she's gonna be allergic to them! Then what r u gonna do?????? just teasing you ;) :dancingp: Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	If men only knew.. Posted : 17 Oct, 2010 10:58 AM @Mark. The middle ground would be ASKING her if she wants your help. With the movie example, he could have said, "Would you like me to get you something to drink?" I mean, it's pretty extreme to get mad at someone for bringing you a glass of water. But if your significant other comes to you and says they're frustrated or upset because of something that happened or didn't happen or they couldn't do or they did do or whatever the situation is, just say, "Wow, I'm really sorry that happened/didn't happen/etc. Is there something I can do to help?" DO NOT ASK HER IF SHE WANTS YOUR OPINION OR ADVICE. EVER!!!!!! If you say "opinion" or "advice" then she will feel like you think she is stupid because she was incapable if figuring it out on her own or did it wrong. Just ask her if there's something you can do to help, and if she wants your help, she'll tell you. If she says, "No," then she does not want your help and you should leave it at that. Period. Anyway, I really hope that helps!!!! It's too bad there's not a guy to girl and a girl to guy language dictionary :ROFL: But honestly, I think that is the best way for a guy to handle those situations. She will know that you are being sympathetic, caring, and loving and that you genuinely want to help without you coming across as superior, domineering, or controlling. Post Reply

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