I not saying hugging is absoloutly dangerous, but in a dating context or certain other situations prolonged frontal contact isnt wise, so i try to limit it.
I think for each is person its diferent, but i know i need a chaperone, not because im some handy squid...but...well it just wise.
I agree with siylii, e'erbody so innocent, make me feel like I might as well pull out the red light bulb and fishnets. (yeah, I said pull out, already got em. They're patiently waiting.... :peace:)
Also, agree with 2Sparrows, no one can take the first kiss experience away. Mine was at 14 with a super cute, Malcolm X lookin', freckle havin' redbone named Jeff. He had been my crush for about a year & found out he liked me too! It was awesome! You know, saw stars and all that...
I'm more discriminating now, but/and I just don't put anything in a box of rules. I'll let God lead me when the time comes. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty. If he so fine that if/when I kiss him I want to push him down on the floor & get busy, I'll cry out (loud if he Morris Chestnut fine) Lord have mercy! and look for the way of escape He promised if we are tempted. Til then, I'll take the situation as it comes and listen for the Spirit to lead.
My first kiss was a huge letdown. I was 24. And I really didn't even want to kiss him because we were just friends and I'd wanted to keep it that way. But he just grabbed me and kissed me... It's a long messed up story. The guy who kissed me second (and I didn't kiss him back, so maybe that doesn't exactly count) was gross... He got on top of me and slobbered all over my face like a dog and I pushed him off and told him to drive me back to my car. The third guy I was engaged to for awhile, but he was abusive, so he didn't deserve my kisses. The forth guy is a guy from high school. We were in this Christian club together and really hit it off, but I didn't feel ready to date back then, so we didn't, even though he wanted to. And we lost touch after high school, but then found each other again last spring (2009). We got together as friends, but there was a spark there, so we kissed. And then we talked more and I realized that he'd pretty much abandoned his faith, so I broke that off before it even really began. And yeah, I know I totally shouldn't have kissed him since we weren't even really dating. Guy #5 I dated last summer briefly and he certainly didn't deserve my kisses because he's the one who raped me.
That all sound so icky looking at it. All of that is why I really think I just want to wait with my next boyfriend. I don't want to give something special away to any more undeserving guys.
Of course I think the relationship will dictate the experience of the first kiss. If a woman feels safe, if there is an amount of postitve emotion towards her significant other, than I think a man is off to a good start. Really thats the first step. Building up to the moment there is a certain feeling of electricity in the air, its magical. I dont wanna go to much in detail, but there is a sence of euphoria.
Pixy, girl you alright. Your language sounds like you are expecting judgment.
If any of lives were opened up like a book over what we've done, didn't do or thought, our thought lives alone would send all to hell before the session was even over.
I got saved my second year of college and yall don't have time to read about all the dudes I've kissed. I wouldn't take any of them back & thankfully since I never slept with them I have no regrets. Those are my personal life experiences that have gotten me here to this place of old age & wisdom. :-D
For those of yall that haven't kissed anyone yet, it really ain't as serious as it's portrayed to be.
1babygirl, you crack me up. Red light and fishnets :ROFL: I'm about ready to pull mine out too after reading so much stuff on these forums.
My first kiss was terrible, but the guy I was kissing wasn't, and I am thankful my first kiss was with him. Was it a good idea? No probably not since he wasn't saved. But at least it wasn't an experience that destroyed me or anything. The first guy I slept with on the other hand, well, he was essentially a conman and it was a huge mistake beyond just the sin factor. It's a long, pathetic story. So I won't bother, but needless to say, I learned the hard way that sex outside of marriage is a terrible idea (even if you have good experiences, it is sin for a reason because there are always consequences to some degree). The only thing I will say is that he claimed to be a Christian and was very convincing. I should have seen the signs sneaking up on me, but like I said--conman. He was very smooth, and I was very dumb. So just be cautious and when you see a red flag, don't ignore it! That's the main thing. It's not about kissing, it's about paying attention to the red flags.
I agree with the thing a lot of people are saying about how it depends on the person. If you can't control yourself, don't do it. But if kissing is just kissing and isn't going to lead to more, then I don't see any problem. Christians used to think dancing was sinful after all. If it's important to you to not kiss until you're married, then don't. But that doesn't mean it's wrong to kiss before then, unless it leads to something more.
Now to respond to something riveroflife said. I absolutely 100% disagree with you about running from anyone you are sexually attracted to. GOD CREATED SEX, AND HE CREATED SEXUAL ATTRACTION! Sex itself is NOT a sin, and as a nation we have created this huge shame factor over it. The U.S. has the YOUNGEST average age for the first sexual encounter and the HIGHEST rate of unplanned pregnancies out of first world countries. If I had gotten better sex ed from the Christian schools I went to, my parents, or even the church, I probably would've been smarter and said no. I say probably because obviously I can't say no for absolutely sure, but I'm certain I would not have done that. Sex outside of marriage is sin. But not sex. For some reason, the topic of sex has become taboo or "embarrassing" but it shouldn't be. There has to be sexual attraction between you and your spouse. It's HEALTHY. And if you think that attraction won't develop before you're married, you're wrong. You can't just turn it off and then POOF, you're magically sexually attracted to each other because you said, "I do." It will be there. You have to CONTROL it. You don't run from the sexual attraction. You run from any situation where you might give in to that attraction before marriage. I have so many pet peeves about how Christians handle the topic of sex that I could (and probably should) start a whole forum about it. We need to be smarter and teach the next generation to be smarter. The way the topic of sex is handled right now among Christians is very very sad. Part of why I started messing around in high school (though I didn't actually have sex until I was out of college) was because I was bitter against the way most Christians treated sex. Am I responsible for my own choices? Yes, absolutely. But my point is still valid. Anyway, this is a massively long post so I will quit my rant. For now... :)
@babygirl- Nah... not really expecting judgment. Though, on this forum, ya just never know! :winksmile: I'm more just wishing I'd done some things differently.
@cowgirl- You've made some really good points here! I agree that sex is handled horribly w/in the Christian community. While it does need to be handled delicately and w/in the bounds of Scripture, it should not be a taboo topic!!
Definitely! On thing I really want to do someday is start some sort of camp for young girls (pre-teen and teen) that will focus on building their self-confidence, and also have a separate course (which would of course require parental consent) that would handle the topic of sex in an age appropriate but open, honest, and safe manner. I just want to help girls make good decisions and also help those who have made bad ones to understand that they don't have to keep making them and that there's ALWAYS a way out. And His name is Jesus :)
That is a really beautiful vision that God has laid upon your heart, cowgirl. I think that there is such a need for something like that. It will be neat to see how God brings those plans to fruition.
When I was 21 and a junior in college, I really felt God's calling to mentor young women. But I didn't really know how to go about that and didn't feel spiritually mature enough to do that. It just didn't really seem like a possibility. Now, a decade later, I can see that God has been preparing me for that. I've been through some really tough stuff in those 10 years, and especially just the past couple of months even. Through all of that, He's been growing me and equipping me, and I've really been able to reach out in the past couple of years because of that. It's just amazing to me how God can take a negative circumstance in our lives and totally turn it around into a ministry opportunity that points to Him and gives people hope.
What can be frustrating, though, is that there are people who will try to discourage you from ministering to others because of sin in your past or something that's happened to you. I've had people straight-up tell me that I have no business ministering to other women when I've had such a messed-up past... that it would be better if someone who had an ideal past do the ministering. I've even had people on this site message me to pretty much tell me to shut up... One thing I've really had to learn is to tune those people out and listen to God instead. If God is calling you to do something, then all the naysayers out there shouldn't influence you.
All of that is just to say that I hope you follow what God has placed on your heart. Be encouraged. He will equip you for what He's called you to do =)
