Hi guys, I need your advice on a matter. Here's some history on the situation:
Last week I messaged a guy (on another site) who seemed to have a lot of possible dating potential. All I said was that the computer was saying we were a good match and based on his profile, it did seem like we might have a lot in common. I said that if he would like to chat or email, just let me know. I tried to keep it very basic, non-threatening, friendly, and open-ended...no pressure to even answer that first message.
He responded the next day and said that he liked my profile, and was interested in getting to know me more. He asked me a few questions, I responded, he answered back that he'd been busy at work, but that he would write a longer email over the weekend. He did so, and asked more questions. I responded back and answered his questions, and asked a few of my own (nothing too personal or scary, just basic questions about hobbies and interests). He responded within 5 minutes and sounded excited to hear that we have a favorite music group in common. I replied to that, and haven't heard from him since. That was Monday afternoon. It is now Friday night.
Here is my dilemma: should I message him once more and just ask how his week was? Should I assume that no reply means that he no longer wishes to communicate with me (even though that is NOT the feeling I got from his last message)? Should I be blunt and ask him if I offended him in some way that would cause him to disappear with no explanation? Another thing that I've thought of is trying to IM him next time I see that he's online...maybe I could feel out the situation by the way he responds to that. I do know that he logs on at least once a day because the site tells me so. I don't know if he's only on for a couple minutes or several hours.
Or should I just wait and do nothing?
I'm not one to pester a guy. If he doesn't want to converse with me, fine. If he never even answers that first message, fine. My skin is pretty thick at this point, and I don't get offended easily by people online. What does bother me, though, is when someone just drops the ball on what seems to be a good conversation. I don't know if I offended him, or if he lost interest, or if he has a dozen other girls he's trying to message and mine just got stuck at the bottom of the pile.
SOOO...my question to you guys is this: if you were this guy, how would YOU want me to respond? Why would you want that? Do you have any other suggestions?
Thanks in advance for all your help, guys! Y'all rock! :rocknroll:
Whoa folks...For some reason I feel like I'm being attacked (though nicely) for asking a simple question of the guys. All I really wanted to know is if guys would find it to be appropriate or inappropriate to send a follow-up email to a guy who seemed to drop the ball on an email conversation. That's all.
The general consensus was that sending a follow-up email would be just fine. And someone asked me to post an update on what came of that follow-up message. So I did.
As for knowing when he was last online...I'm on that site regularly and because he keeps popping up in my match results, I can see that he's not been online since Friday...you can't log on to that site and it not automatically update the "last online" time next to the user name.
If he never emails me again, that's FINE. We certainly didn't exchange enough emails for me to feel any sort of "attachment" to the guy...he just seemed really nice and it seemed like we had a lot in common.
Thanks Dennis...I did send that follow-up email at the beginning of the weekend, and since I haven't heard back from him (though he DID finally log on today), I'm going to assume that this guy doesn't want to keep emailing and doesn't know how to tell me so.
I also thought long and hard about it today, and if I were in his shoes...
OK, when a guy emails me, I'll usually answer. If I'm not interested in him at all, I say so, and I want that to be the end of it. It really bugs me when a guy keeps on sending me message after message in hopes that I'll change my mind. There are also the cases when I email back and forth with a guy for a while, and gradually find that we just don't click, or that he's not what he first seemed. It's hard to find a way to end those emails without hurting his feelings...and I'll confess that I have not always handled it the best in the past.
That's why I'm not going to send this guy any more emails. He may not have done things right by just not answering the last email, but I'll respect his implied wish.
