Christian Chat Forums | Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? - CDFF

Author	Thread: Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself?
NotSettlingYet^ View Profile History	Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? Posted : 9 May, 2022 11:50 PM Hi guys. I don't think it is a huge secret that a lot of single women date with a list at hand with all of her demands, and wants in the man she is dating. I guess some men also have sort of a list they work from when choosing whom to date. Do you think it is possible or even realistic for people to have demands on their list of traits in a partner that they themselves don't live up to. I am just curious because some women have tendencies to demand that the man have to make a certain amount of money, own a house or a car when they themselves don't. It could also be people of spesific colour being clear they only date other colours. It could also be people being people with sexual relationship(s) in the past demanding only to date virgins. What are your takes on these kind of lists, and how someones lists don't match up to their own life and behaviour? Post Reply
NotSettlingYet^ View Profile History	Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? Posted : 1 Jan, 2023 01:24 PM I feel like one can never ask for something one is not oneself. Like demanding a virgin if you are not virgin yourself is the weirdest thing. But this is not the main things. All the tings on my "list" are traits I have myself, even though I don't nessesarily put it into words spesifically. Maybe I should. Post Reply
NarnianGirl View Profile History	Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? Posted : 1 Jan, 2023 02:18 PM Hey sis. It's great to see you face here again :-) Agreed that this virginity thing is really foolish and immature (I do value virginity, but do not make it the primary requirement on my wish list..).. especially in the cases of those, who have been around the carousel a few times themselves, and now consider it there right to get someone 'fresh and pure..' In certain other things, it is not so unwise to hope and pray for some traits, or blessings that we do not have in ourself. Isn't marriage supposed to be a partnership, in which each party supports and strengthens the other? Everyone has something to bring to the table, and to offer the other person. That's the whole purpose isn't it. I don't need a copy of myself with the same strengths, personality, life experiences, or spiritual gifts as myself.. or the same body parts. Horror! For example, when it comes to material wealth, I'm not personally after possessions so it's irrelevant whether a man has a house, car etc... (wisdom to handle one's means is way more important).. so I'm not certainly expecting my future spouse to own a mansion. That may even be an impediment in the days to come..it really ties you down. However, if it works out that I meet someone who does own his place, and we both fit in, and it's in a location we both sense God wants us to live in.. then it helps that I have no apartment of my own that I need to take responsibility for. Lets say that a woman already own her apartment, and then meets someone who also is a home-owner. In such cases, it can be very difficult to decide who gives up their home. and then what, renting out, or selling.. Of course, it should be settled with prayer... just like everything else. I know cases, where two home-owners came together and for a log time, they could not tie the knot legally, because they could not make up their mind on which f them should move... Post Reply
NotSettlingYet^ View Profile History	Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? Posted : 1 Jan, 2023 02:27 PM I moved for my ex. It was something we discussed BEFORE dating because neither or us owned a home, and he had a very spesific job that he has had for 10 years, and I had a job I wanted to quit, and I am a social worker so I do get jobs easily. I made plans to move as soon as we became official, and only finished moving half an hour before he dumped me. (not relevant). My point is that if you own your own place you must decide to rent it out or sell it if you are the one moving. Getting married before having talked through these things is stupid. If love is the real thing then moving is not that big of a deal. I now have nobody in this town, but I might meet someone again, and then be free to move again. (Although I won't pull the trigger on that as quickly this time around.) Post Reply
NarnianGirl View Profile History	Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? Posted : 1 Jan, 2023 02:53 PM Oh absolutely. Moving should not be a big deal... (and sometimes both parties move to start a new life in a third location) I'm sorry to hear how your ex handled things. Speechless.. Post Reply

Moonlight7 View Profile History	Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? Posted : 1 Jan, 2023 03:37 PM Never Relocate for a man unless you are already married Before. Or unless it's a city where you would like to live . Then if it crashes it's less disappointing. Imo Post Reply
HiddenMountain View Profile History	Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? Posted : 25 Jan, 2023 08:02 PM nice answers.. smart folks alert!... i used to think i had a "look" i was looking for.. then reality checked in... a man i was deeply in love with started having an electrolite problem and reaction to mental medication that made him obesse... i could not in anyway love that man more... he broke my mold.. i would honestly stare at his fat hands and feel such love of them, as he slept on the couch cause he was so phycho that he could only sleep there... now i have a phycho fat guy desire.. who knew? Post Reply
HiddenMountain View Profile History	Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? Posted : 25 Jan, 2023 08:02 PM nice answers.. smart folks alert!... i used to think i had a "look" i was looking for.. then reality checked in... a man i was deeply in love with started having an electrolite problem and reaction to mental medication that made him obesse... i could not in anyway love that man more... he broke my mold.. i would honestly stare at his fat hands and feel such love of them, as he slept on the couch cause he was so phycho that he could only sleep there... now i have a phycho fat guy desire.. who knew? Post Reply
WalkNTalk View Profile History	Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? Posted : 2 Apr, 2023 07:05 PM Sure! it is possible or realistic for people to have demands on their list of traits in a partner that they themselves don't live up to. "DO AS I SAY AND NOT AS I DO." Jesus pointed this out Matthew 23:2-3. “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach." Call it hypocrisy. It may or may not be hypocrisy. Some double standards are accepted in the Bible. In the Bible, it is okay for a male to have more than one female at a time, but a woman is to have only one man for as long as the man live. We share Jesus and want him to have more. But he is to be our only. It is our duty to expand the bride of Christ because our love for Christ. Like Rachel and Leah who together built the house of Jacob, so too is the church. So we are to be only for Christ, but Christ is not only for you. Post Reply
Cuzzie^ View Profile History	Can you have something on the "must have list" that you don't have yourself? Posted : 31 Aug, 2023 02:47 PM Short answer is yes. For me its that she must be female :) Post Reply