Author Thread: Woman's initiative
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Woman's initiative
Posted : 8 Aug, 2018 09:44 PM

I am looking for counsel to the guys...its been a while since I attempted to date, especially online dating, but how is a a woman perceived when they take the initiative by sending a wink or email?

I'll be honest, when I have tried, I feel like I don't get taken seriously or too upfront...so I have let that go and just letting guys contact me instead...

Would you please let me know? I understand not everyone is lookin for long distance relationships but I'm giving it some thought.

Your sincere and kind feedback would be much appreciated,

Thanks!

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 24 Aug, 2018 11:02 PM

Let me develop my thought further.

In general, I do not mind a woman expressing interest. For me -- and this is just my subjective preference, though it wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me if a woman went further -- leaving hints is a good way to go. But, CLEAR hints.

I knew this lady in a gym I attend. She made a point of telling me she was single. When proximity made it doable, she'd hold my hand or hug me. Well, I decided to ask her out.

Shot down!

So, something unmistakable, if you don't want to just come right out and ask the man out. But, if you did. at least for me, it's not a deal-breaker.

As for winking on a dating site specifically, I do not usually respond to winks. A few times I have, but it is not common. A message, unlike most people on this site, I always respond to, whether or not I'm interested.

Does this help at all?

Remember that you will get different responses from different men. There is no universal rule.

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Moonlight7

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 25 Aug, 2018 01:27 PM

I agree to send a message if you find an interesting profile. This is online dating and those seeking a man, should do that'! IMO

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 26 Aug, 2018 05:22 PM

@keithiepoo

I have seen that happen before. I was advice inplace of asking someone out, ask if they want to go do something. Leave dating out of the question all together and just go do something as finds

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 30 Aug, 2018 12:43 AM

Well, I was going on the opinion of a female friend. I figured women know women, and took her word that this girl was expressing interest. Kind of laughable, really.

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LookingForItAll

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 7 Sep, 2018 07:21 PM

Coming a little late to the discussion, but my rule of thumb is that winks mean that someone liked something they saw, but have nothing more to say about it.

Sending an email is only a little more effort, but it actually starts a conversation.

And, while I can't speak for all men, whenever a woman is motivated enough to start a conversation, I pay attention.

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 7 Sep, 2018 07:58 PM

"And, while I can't speak for all men, whenever a woman is motivated enough to start a conversation, I pay attention."

I wish more women here were like that. Countless messages I sent have been deleted and ignored. Makes me wonder why there here if they lack the decency to talk.

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Jayzeee

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 8 Sep, 2018 11:47 AM

Lookingforitall that's very good to hear but I think that you may be the exception to the rule. I no longer send messages because it's pointless writing them only for them to be ignored

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24hrbeliever

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 13 Sep, 2018 08:20 PM

I think it's fine when a woman takes the first step. With so many things in a relationship to figure out, at least that's the first hint that the women likes you.

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TheologyWriter

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Woman's initiative
Posted : 14 Nov, 2018 08:43 PM

It can be welcome. Especially to the type of guy who doesn't get much of a response back when he initiates contact.

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