Author Thread: dating divorced woman
angelicka25

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dating divorced woman
Posted : 10 Aug, 2014 03:27 PM

Would that be a reason for you guys not to date/marry a woman? I heard some men talking in church today about dating divorced woman and they all agreed that thats a no-go to them because theres no guarantee that they wont divorced them too since they already did it once and i was actually pretty shocked because i never thought that men do think like that...i mean of course a divorce shouldnt be an option if you get married,but sometimes it is neccecerly,i would never judge a divorced person like that because ive been thru it too,so heres my question,is that really such a no-go to all christian man or is it just the personal opinion of the men in my church?

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Pops61

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dating divorced woman
Posted : 2 Sep, 2014 05:22 PM

There's been a discussion going since 02/2012 in the Christian morals thread that a member here, "Really 54" started and had written an article called "The stone thrower". It's on page 10 right now in the history pages at the bottom. It's a good article and lots of comments both ways on some of these very issues in this discussion.

As for me, mind you first that I am not some tough guy but if my daughter calls me because she's been hurt or broken that dude will be explaining himself to the barrel of my gun and he'd better hope the law gets there in a hurry! IMO you were right to get out before worse could happen... circumstances are not the same for everyone, go to the Lord, take time for healing and clarity, let God sort out the matters what is right and of forgiving and repentance.

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Posted : 2 Sep, 2014 05:53 PM

"Thank you for the replies...well in my case i got divorced because i got saved and couldnt deal with the lifestyle of my husband anymore........let me ask you another question,if your daughter woud be calling you at 1am and asking you if you could drive them to the hospital cause her husband broke her rib or her arm,would you still judge them and stick to the fact that divorce is a sin or would you tell your own daughter to leave him?"

I agree that it is not a sin to flee from a marriage where your spouse has turned against you and is causing you great harm. In fact, if she was my daughter, I would probably tell her to leave him before her arm or rib gets broken. I think, it is okay to divorce in order to save your life in these situations, however, I think, to remarry would be wrong. It would be wrong for both the woman who got divorced and the 2nd man who is about to marry her. If a person gets a divorce, he/she should stay single. That's what the Bible says.

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HoosierHomeschooler

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Posted : 3 Sep, 2014 04:31 PM

I absolutely agree with the advice to leave an abusive marriage. If I understand Jesus' instruction regarding Moses' instruction, "the hardness of men's hearts" probably involved abuse. As bad as divorce is, abuse is worse.



Moses, Micah, Jesus, and Paul all addressed different circumstances regarding divorce. I believe that they are to be understood as a coherent whole, not that one trumps or replaces another's teaching.



I understand from Moses' limitations of remarriage and Paul's statement about a brother or sister no longer being in bondage, that if the divorce was justified, so is remarriage.



I understand that it's controversial because it's not entirely clear or completely answered in any one passage.

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Moichepit

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Posted : 6 Sep, 2014 09:09 PM

angelicka25, you stated. . .



"well in my case i got divorced because i got saved and couldn't deal with the lifestyle of my husband anymore..."



&



�"prayed that he will change his life as well and stop all the partying,drinking and doing drugs but he didn't and when he started to hit me i left him."





So to make sure, you were saved in the MIDST your marriage, correct?

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angelicka25

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Posted : 7 Sep, 2014 11:53 AM

Yes,i got married waaaaay before i even touched a bible,my husband didnt belived in God nor did i at the time we got married

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1mountain

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Posted : 7 Sep, 2014 09:27 PM

LOL 'divorced woman cooties' although, you may be right. Sevindust your first post I thought was very astute. Remember too that Jesus said that God would have it divorce was impossible, but because man sins he had to make it permissible. Personally I would be VERY hesitant to get into a serious relationship with a divorced woman, but would consider dating her if she didn't have any children. In fact I would want to know about the breakups with all her serious ex boyfriends too.

Well there you have it Angelika, your marriage was not made before God since you weren't a Christian then. However in my personal opinion the first person you sleep with as far as God is concerned you are married to. To back up this thought consider consummating a marriage. Adam and Eve didn't have a wedding, but they were married in the eyes of God and man. Therefore I suggest that just to be on the safe side everyone who's had a long term (or otherwise) sexual relationship that they should pray that God would forgive them and forget the past. Just to be on the safe side.

By the way, is bereavement a word? Then divorcement is a word. If you don't believe us look it up in the dictionary. By the way let me air a pet peeve here, Etcetera is not abbreviated ect. it is etc. Don't know who taught so many people the wrong way in this country but it's becoming an epidemic.

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HoosierHomeschooler

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Posted : 8 Sep, 2014 07:22 PM

>>Therefore I suggest that just to be on the safe side everyone who's had a long term (or otherwise) sexual relationship that they should pray that God would forgive them and forget the past.



You don't mean a married relationship, do you? I seek forgiveness for my sins as I become aware of them. I don't consider the sex within my former marriage a sin I need to confess.

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1mountain

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dating divorced woman
Posted : 9 Sep, 2014 12:12 AM

Not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is that in my opinion God views everyone we have sex with married to us. Therefore it's a lot like a divorce to leave them. When you go to remarry once you've been divorced, then the bible does make it pretty clear that marrying another person is a sin. Therefore my suggestion is to everyone to spiritually treat it that way, and to pray for forgiveness before entering into a new relationship or marriage. Better to be on the safe side after all. After my exes left I did just that, asked God to forget the relationship and guide me to the right girl for me.

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Posted : 9 Sep, 2014 05:36 AM

just a question what should a woman do if her husband keep cheating on her? does she stay and fight or does she accept the divorce and find happiness in God?

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HoosierHomeschooler

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Posted : 9 Sep, 2014 11:10 AM

If he will not repent, it is definitely biblically permitted to divorce him. That is also probably the healthiest decision for both the innocent spouse and any children.



And though a couple brothers in this thread have a stricter view on it, my understanding is that when a divorce is permitted, so is remarriage. Whether a remarriage is the best idea is an individual decision.

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