I am a strong, independent woman. I always have been and I always will be. In past relationships, I have told the guys I was seeing that I am independent and can take care of myself. They always start off saying that is what they want in a women and have been looking for. But as soon as the relationship gets going, they retract. They say that they are looking for a woman who needs her man and that I don't rely on them enough. How can I keep my independence but still make a man feel needed?
Seems like to me that the independance comes from the need for security, which I have come to realize is a deep need for women. Its almost as if they dont want a bad steward of their heart, or an incapable leader as thier husband, becasue to be a leader in the household is more than just the position, it take a mature sacrafical love.
Yeah, that is very true, but also women being strong and capable (which is why we are called and call ourselves independent) is something that we don't have a choice about. We are thrown into that because we have no one to help us and are left to fend for ourselves and our kids. It's sink or swim. Then people try to make us feel like we're wrong for being strong. If someone is weak and they see a strong person, then they are ashamed and often attack the person that makes them see where they should be. I'm not sayin at all that you are like that though.
But you are right we don't want someone that is incapable of leading us taking the reigns and having our vulnerabliity. We NEED someone, strong, wise, lead by love, and very capable!
You must have misinterpreted my whole purpose of saying what I said earlier...because I plainly stated that what I said to "MissKellyRae" was NOT meant to upset her. It's not my fault if you or anyone else misinterprets or misunderstands what I've said, or the way in which I was trying to say it...because I clearly stated that it wasn't intended to be taken as such. Please look at the "whole picture" before judging me. I don't think myself to be "high and mighty" or whatever it was that you were trying to suggest...and I forgive you for making such statements and insults about me. I said those things because I believed it needed to be said...and not only because "she" needed to hear it, but also because many of the people on this dating site probably needed to hear it, both men and women! I'm sorry if what I've said offends you or anyone else...but as I've stated before, I'm not sorry for the truth! Let me explain something important: I HAVE TO SAY WHAT I SAY...BECAUSE I CAN'T REST UNTIL I DO! Our culture and society in this nation has become so corrupted and confused about the truth that most people can't even tell what the truth is anymore...and that's exactly why you're attacking me for saying what I said earlier! Truth is, you probably don't even realize that I did the right thing by saying those things to her. WHY DID I SAY THOSE THINGS??? BECAUSE A TRUE MAN OF GOD IS WILLING TO REBUKE SOMEONE WHEN SOMETHING IS BEING DONE WRONG!...even if it means being made to look like a idiot! I REBUKED HER OUT OF LOVE AND CONCERN FOR HER AS A FELLOW SISTER IN THE LORD! I'm not afraid to speak the truth because the truth sets us free. Plus, I don't have to answer to anyone on this earth on Judgment Day...but I WILL have to answer to God if I don't try to help someone see the truth...and especially when it seems to be obvious that they're in need of hearing it. THAT'S TOO MUCH OF THE PROBLEM WITH MOST PASTORS AND CHURCH LEADERS THESE DAYS...THEY WON'T STAND UP FOR WHAT'S RIGHT AND REBUKE SOMEONE WHEN THINGS ARE OUT OF ORDER! Just being honest, most of the people who call themselves "Christians" in our country today, sadly, aren't even saved! WHY??? Because they think they have salvation simply by praying/repeating some "prayer of salvation"...yet they've never truly "repented", nor have they been "born again" so to speak. Well, for all of those who think the prayer of salvation saves people all by itself, GUESS WHAT??? IT DOESN'T!!! And anyone who thinks it does is believing in a "MOST DECEPTIVE LIE"...and satan doesn't care if a person goes to church every week, and to bible study every wednesday. Satan is happy and content just so long as a person "thinks" they're saved. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS "FIRE INSURANCE" WHEN IT COMES TO THE ISSUE OF SALVATION! I have a serious question...HOW DOES A PERSON GET INTO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN??? IS IT BECAUSE WE KNOW JESUS...OR IS IT BECAUSE JESUS KNOWS US??? Don't you see my point??? Remember what Jesus said He will say to some of those who referred to Him as "Lord"??? Jesus said that He will tell them that He never knew them. WHY??? Because they kept living like the world! Now do you see the importance of me taking the time to tell that young lady what I honestly believe to be the truth? If you can't, then I give up, because there's no way I can help you understand!
I'll tell you what I'm tired of.....I'm tired of the pastors, church leaders, and the church members of today's churches...because the majority of them don't stand up for what's right for some reason...and it's usually because they're afraid to speak the truth and rebuke someone. WHY??? For fear that someone might get offended. IT'S INSANITY! Look throughout the bible...and you will see numerous situations where "true men of God" spoke up and rebuked not only kings, but entire nations! Even Jesus rebuked people when they were wrong...including Peter who was one of His own disciples! Just being honest, I think it's sad that someone would insult me for trying to be obedient to the Lord by speaking out and attempting to help someone understand the truth. I did for her what I hope someone would do for me if I was confused. Fact is, I have a little sister...and what I did for "MissKellyRae" is the same thing I would've done for my own little sister. :) Honestly, I'm not that concerned about the insults you made about me...because if a woman on here can't tell that I'm trying to live a godly life by standing up for what's right, then she probably isn't right for me anyway...not that she couldn't be, but simply because she still needs to learn a few things spiritually! WHY DID I ADDRESS THE ISSUE PUBLICLY??? No, it wasn't to hurt her or anything like that...it was because I believe other people on this dating site needed to be able to see the truth about the issue of independence. And if someone thinks I was wrong to address her publicly because it might cause her to miss out on meeting someone on here, then let me explain something: IF A GUY ISN'T WILLING TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT NOBODY IS PERFECT, THEN HE MIGHT AS WELL QUIT TRYING TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE!!! People worry too much...when what they really need to be doing is trusting God!!! I'm not simply gonna tell a woman whatever she wants to hear, or in other words "sweet talk her"...because that's not who I'm called to be in Christ! Maybe some of you consider my character as being "non-understanding"...but I call it "speaking the truth"...and if more of the people who call themselves "Christians" were being as bold as I've been, this nation wouldn't be in the sad shape that it's in now! I'm sorry if the truth hurts...but I can't help it, because the truth is like a "two-edged sword"...and it definitely cuts to the heart! Just being honest, I've just about had it with this nation...and I'm beginning to consider moving somewhere else after I get married! In my opinion, they need to throw most of our political leaders out of office...but I don't even wanna get on that subject!
By the way, WHEN I USE CAPITAL LETTERS LIKE THIS, IT'S NOT BECAUSE I'M YELLING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT...IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO MAKE SURE THE PERSON WHO IS READING UNDERSTANDS MY POINT!
It's NOT a sin to "rebuke" someone when they're wrong...but it's a sin to not do so!
"Rabbit32", I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but the bible says that the Lord hates false guilt...so you might ought to be a little more careful before you start throwing around insults from now on...and please don't take that the wrong way...otherwise you'll be making the same mistake all over again.
If any of you people wanna know where I've been learning some of these good values, then you might ought to look up Paul Washer on "y o u t u b e". I've found some great sermons by him on there recently. I wasn't sure if he was any good at first...but after listening to him for about 30 minutes, I knew he was onto something good. Man I wish we had a local pastor who taught like that! :)
These are 3 of the sermons I've found so far...
(1) Dating, Courtship, and Marriage
(2) The gift nobody wants
(3) What a man is not
The second one is really great by the way. You can't totally judge by the sermon names, but they're all pretty good. :)
Thats what Im trying to do for you sir Proverbs 10:19 Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.
.....and Im telling you if you dont change HOW, or the WAY you say something i.e. speak the truth in LOVE you will be be ALONE when you dont want to be...
Proverbs 17:27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.
I misinterpreted nothing, and you can say what u like :^)
and another word of caution women arent going to tell you they dont like you or that you are a jerk, but they will tell their friends.
There is a major difference between "rebuking" and "insulting"...and sadly, all you seem to be doing is "insulting" me for trying to be a true man of God. Not even once have I called you any names or anything of that sort, nor have I tried to insult you by what I've said...and it's not my fault if you took it that way. Sometimes people see what they wanna see...which is the sin of being self-assuming. By the way, insults will not be tolerated on this dating site, but you're acting as if you don't even know what that means. You've thrown insults at me ever since I tried to help that young lady. And just because you're quoting scripture doesn't mean much, nor does it impress me...mainly because satan quoted scripture when he tried to tempt Jesus. I'm not trying to judge or condemn you...I'm only stating the obvious, well-known facts. I will say this...Whether or not you're able to see these things on the spiritual level, what you're doing is not right...because it's the same thing that a "wolf in sheep's clothing" would do. Insults and name calling are nothing other than ways to stir up strife and divisions among Believers.
The following are Jesus' own words...and I'm not trying to suggest that you're this kind of person, but I am concerned for your sake because of the way you've acted towards me. Matthew 7:15-16 says.....Beware of false teachers who come disguised as harmless sheep, but are wolves and will tear you apart. You can detect them by the way they act, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit. You need never confuse grapevines with thorn bushes or figs with thistles.
If you're trying to live your life as a true man of God (and I truly hope you are), then please stop this nonsense of name calling and insults! You're the one who started this nonsense and there's absolutely no way that you can justify "name calling" or "insulting" anyone. What I've tried to do here is "rebuke"...but what you did was "insult" me...not once, but twice...by making false and insulting statements about me, and then by some sort of implied name calling. WHEN DID I EVER TRY TO HURT OR INSULT YOU IN SUCH WAYS??? And I'll answer that question because I'm the only person on this earth who knows my own heart...the answer is NEVER!
WHY HAVE I "REBUKED" YOU PUBLICLY??? Because you made false and insulting comments about me publicly.
I don't intend to respond to you anymore...because I feel like the Holy Spirit is calling me to flee from this situation.
nobody is insulting you, I am telling you what most females will think...and I wish some of them would be brave enough to tell what they heard when you spoke in this thread
and actuly if it was the Holy Spirit than I would say He would have told you to try to aproach me privatly (Matt 18:15)...and its not for you to judge wether I am a wolf or sheep because you really dont know nor is it possible without coming into a relationship. but you are commanded to love your ennemy, your neighbor, and your ennemy
Once again it was not my intention to insult, and I'm sorry if I did...perhaps if you re read what you have said and see how it sounds to a woman than maybe you could see what I am talking about...I know, cause I was where you were. Speaking truth without love only makes a person a noisy gong which no one wants to be around, it will make one isolated
May God bless you with wisdom, peace, and most importantly love :^)
Ok, everyone STOP!!!!! While I love the insight, I do not love where this is going. I am not blaming anyone, nor am I insulted by anyone's previous comments.
Please believe me that it was not my intention to evoke such strong emotions, but never the less it has. I appreciate what everyone has contributed to this forum but it needs to stop now. Please, if you are reading this, NO more comments on this forum. I will take everyone's comments to heart and mind but I think this subject needs to be dropped now. I will also not be returning to this forum so if any comments are added from here on out, please know that I will not be reading them. This subject I will continue to pursue but from another angle.
Please do not think me angry or upset. I just want this to stop, for many reasons. This is something I have struggled with my whole life and it is something that I need to workout with God. I am truly sorry if anyone was hurt by this forum. If you want to talk about this still, please message me personally. As I said, I too am walking away from this forum:)
The relationship between man and woman is designed to mirror Gods relationship with the church respectively. Does God want a strong and independent church bride in the same sense that you are strong and independent to a prospective man?
