I'm honestly really confused as to what's going on here. It's not like anybody is saying that there's only one type of woman that is attractive. Women seem to have this idea that men only want a 5'9" blue eyed blonde with a BMI of 16 and humongous chests, yet that couldn't be further from the truth. We have no idea what the woman Solomon wrote to looked like, but we do know he found her attractive. It doesn't matter what she looked like because to him, she was attractive.
Does anybody really want their spouse to find them unattractive physically? Certainly not me. Different people find different people attractive. Is it healthier to be a healthy weight? Absolutely. Do I find women with a little more woman to them to be more attractive than super skinny girls? Absolutely. Are there guys who find very overweight women attractive? Absolutely. Everyone out there looks attractive to someone.
It's also not like looks are the only thing that matters. Again and again, it's been repeated that looks are only a factor in the overall equation. I know there are plenty of attractive girls who I didn't date because our personalities just didn't click.
People shouldn't be walking around telling others they're unattractive, but to pretend like it's sinful to want to be attracted to your spouse as a whole package and not just her personality is ridiculous.
Let us look into the Word of GOD,to see what ABBA says about this subject:
1Sam 16:6 And it happened as they came in, that he saw Eliab, and said, Surely His anointed is before Jehovah.
1Sam 16:7 And Jehovah said to Samuel, Do not look on his appearance, nor to the height of his stature, for I have rejected him. For man does not see what He sees. For man looks for the eyes, but Jehovah looks for the heart.
Pro 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Pro 31:31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Now what does YWHW say about His Messiah.
Isa 53:2 Yea, he cometh up as a tender plant before Him, And as a root out of a dry land, He hath no form, nor honour, when we observe him, Nor appearance, when we desire him.
Isa 53:3 He is despised, and left of men, A man of pains, and acquainted with sickness, And as one hiding the face from us, He is despised, and we esteemed him not.
Are we seeing others as ABBA sees them.
I am not against a woman being beautiful,nor a man being handsome.
But when beauty,and handsome become the motivation for a relationship with someone,what will we do when the beauty of the lady fades and the handsome man turns into the Michellin man.
Relationship from GODs vantage point of being Omniscient is this.
Gen 2:18 And Jehovah God saith, `Not good for the man to be alone, I do make to him an helper--as his counterpart.'
To keep oneself from being lonely or alone.
Shalom
Merciful:
ps:
Rabbit,don't throw rocks at MM.
If you want to throw rocks at someone then throw them at me,
ONLY throw pointy ones,seeing that the round ones only leave bruises.
MrsMarvel God love ya! I admire what you are trying to accomplish here... but I do feel that you have taken offense to what Rabbit and Cobbler are trying to convey. I'm not the shiniest pebble in the creek but I understand what Rabbit is trying to say and do not take offense to it. I know Rabbit is not intending any insult or even and judgment against any women... he is just stating that he has certain physical traits that are attractive to him over others. I too have the same. What he finds attractive in someone's physical traits is not bad it's not good... it just is. I don't think he's meaning to come off as harsh about it as you are taking it.
So, please don't hold offense against Rabbit for finding certain physical features more appealing to him than others... I'm sure he doesn't mean that he wouldn't be friendly with someone he wasn't attracted to... just that he wouldn't pursue intimacy with someone he didn't feel intimate towards which I understand.
I don't want to see this blow up into something bigger than it actually is or has to be. I like all of you too much to see that happen *hugs*
oooook...you wield the Word of god like a bow with no arrow.
Issaih 53:
2 My servant grew up in the Lord�s presence like a tender green shoot,
like a root in dry ground.
There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
nothing to attract us to him.
1 Samuel 16: 6 When they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, �Surely this is the Lord�s anointed!�
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, �Don�t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn�t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.�
although God does see our heart (which btw is decietfully wicked) neither this passage or the previous one deal with marriage, but both men of God who is about to be used by him, and the fact that neither had social attractivness for leadership, or to be the Messiah, as thought of by the people...in genral
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
Prov 31:30 speaks for itself
And once again there is nothing wrong with it being part of the motivation....quite telling us how we should feel. As a matter of fact there isn't much in the bible about dating and mate selection.
Are you willing to sacrifice GODs mate for you,just to satisfy your physical desires.
Though she may not be attractive,yet she has you and your childrens best interests in mind.
She has no beauty that you should desire her,
Yet she is a faithful woman,and a faithful steward.
She may not GLOW,yet she sees to the needs of those around her.
What is important to ABBA,the outward appearance;
Or ones character.
Shalom:
BTW,i had those Scripture to show that Yeshua,though being GOD in the flesh;
He could have chosen to look like the most handsome man ever.
Was this not HA-Satans fall.
Eze 28:2 Son of man, say unto the prince of Tyrus, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Because thine heart is lifted up, and thou hast said, I am a God, I sit in the seat of God, in the midst of the seas; yet thou art a man, and not God, though thou set thine heart as the heart of God:
Eze 28:3 Behold, thou art wiser than Daniel; there is no secret that they can hide from thee:
Eze 28:4 With thy wisdom and with thine understanding thou hast gotten thee riches, and hast gotten gold and silver into thy treasures:
Yet Yeshua chose to become like on as to His own Brethren.
I tell you truthfully the only ppl that "Glow" on the inside are those filled to the gill with Jesus and those are very rare indeed...without Jesus we are nothing, no one is good not one...
Somewhere in the Middle East where there are lots of Filipino contract workers, a Filipino engineer advised his superior who had a Filipino girlfriend, a domestic helper. The supervisor is about to retire and go home to the US. The engineer advised, Sir, you come with me to Philippines and we look for a well educated Filipina, who look gorgeous, a better wife material than this one you are dating. His supervisor said, oh no need, I am happy with this one, I will have a wife and a maid. With what you are thinking, the neighbors will be interested, all my life I will be busy watching over her.
Behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass, that when the virgin cometh forth to draw water, and I say to her, Give me , I pray thee, a little water of thy pitcher to drink ;
44
And she say to me, Both drink thou, and I will also draw for thy camels: let the same be the woman whom the LORD hath appointed out for my master's son.
I think this shows that the heart of the woman is the most important thing. I think you would all agree. Abraham's servant was looking for a woman that had a servant's heart; a kind, caring heart; a tender heart. She not only was willing to serve a complete stranger, but was willing to go above and beyond what he asked.
For me, truly, there has to be at least some slight attraction to a woman for me to be interested, but if I'm gonna be interested enough to attempt pursuit, I have to like what her personality/heart is like a LOT.
I often see a pretty girl's picture, but don't say a word to her because I don't find her personality appealing.
I honestly believe the more you grow to know and love someone, the prettier/handsomer they become.
I have seen plenty of really gorgeous and beautiful actresses in movies , and while some friends ooh and ah about how pretty they are, all I can think is "Yuck", because their attitude is attrocious or their morals severely lacking. Loose and sinful women's attitudes make them uglier than they might normally be, while good and godly women's attitudes make them prettier than they might normally be.
If you are lucky enough to get a beautiful woman inside and out, you better be sure you love the inside, because the outside will change.
Personalities aren't likely to change, while looks definitely will. You need to be in love with the person as a whole, inside and out. If you don't love the person's heart, what happens if they get in a terrible accident and are disfigured in some way? You just run off because they are no longer attractive?
I think some of you in this thread just aren't understanding each other is all.
I think everyone here agrees that someone's heart and personality has priority over that someone's looks.
And you have to admit, you probably can think of some instance somewhere in time, where someone you did not find attractive at all, grew on you and became attractive because of what they were like.
As far as people not being contacted because their fat, that's the searcher's loss. People can always lose weight, especially for the right person. And like the story of beauty and the beast, if you look only on the outward appearance, you'll just see a "beast" and miss the blessing of getting to love the prince/princess within.
As Ms. Marvel was trying to point out, a lot of today's ideas of pretty are molded by the worldly media. Look at what some of the current cultures around the world think is pretty (stretched out necks, huge discs in ear lobes, etc.) In a few African cultures (not sure which ones(zulu?) as well as others, they view fat people with respect and see it as good, as a sign of health and wealth. Obviously, culture plays a big role in what mankind sees as pretty.
Here are some testimonials I found on BBC site.
Most men stroke their fat bellies as a sign that they have money, especially when in public. The bigger the belly , the better. This is the philosophy in my country. Having a fat tummy also commands respect. People associate that with power since 99% of our politicians are fat.
Progress Njomboro, Harare, Zimbabwe
I only recently learnt that obesity is a disorder with lethal results. In my country it appears all those in salaried employment are overweight. Thin people are considered mean and probably sickly.
Joseph Okellowange, Ugandan student in Belgium
In my country, thousands of people go to bed and wake up hungry. How we wish we had problems with obesity. Lack of education, good roads, good government, and jobs will always be our main discussion, NOT OBESITY!!!
Arnold Zac, Sierra Leone
It is no surprise that there are obesity problems in South Africa. In many of the cultures, plenty of food on the table is proof of wealth and success. In the Afrikaans (dutch) community, the cuisine is a 'cholesterol-festival'. After dating an Afrikaans girl for some time, I discovered this. Even with a BIG appetite, I was dreading the next meal where it was considered an insult not to have a large second helping of steak, potatoes and all the trimmings. There was no end to the stream of cookies, cakes and desserts that were for in-between meals. They were always just EATING, EATING, EATING.
Colin S., Richmond, VA (USA) - Formally SA
Growing up in Kwa-Zulu Natal, which is predominantly populated by the Zulu people, I believe that it is indeed a sign of wealth. This is a very male orientated idea as the more "fuller" your wife and children appear, the wealthier the man of the house will appear to others. I think that obesity is the least of the problems in Africa when you take into account the continuing spread of Aids, the poverty and the lack of education for children.
Natasha Samuel, United Kingdom (Originally South Africa)
Being fat in Africa is a sign of health and wealth. Our mothers-in-law demand to see daughters-in-law who make the earth tremble when they walk (umfazi ohamba kunyakazele umhlaba). This is the sign of a true African woman. In a country like Zimbabwe where an estimated 1.4 people are suspected to be living with HIV/Aids, you just cannot contemplate loosing weight without fearing that your neighbours will start whispering that you have Aids. Man and women alike feel comfortable dating a fat/big person because they are considered "clean". Hence the colloquial name for AIDS in west Africa is "slim"
Thoko Elphick-Pooley, Bulawayo, Zimbabwe
Obesity is not a problem in my country. Because not everyone can afford to buy food, so when a person is "thick, healthy, solid and fat" it is considered a great sight. Men love, I mean love fat women. Whenever a man tells a woman you are fat, it is consider a compliment and ladies love to hear that. The rapid spread of AIDS is our major problem in Nigeria. Not Obesity.
Yoknyam Love Dabale, Taraba States, Nigeria
I think it's generally believed and agreed especially in Africa that being fat is a sign of good living, wealth and respect. In some parts of Nigeria, the middle belt to be specific, you will not be given a wife if you can't eat very much hence you'll be tested with food before their daughter can be released to you for marriage. It is believed that if you can't eat much then you are a stingy man and you will not be able to feed your wife hence they don't want their daughter to suffer when she eventually gets married to you.
Salau Oladele Martin, Lagos, Nigeria
Well...I'm not surprised obesity is a problem in South Africa. I grew up in Botswana and thus made frequent visits to South Africa. There was too much junk food everywhere. In Ghana, junk food seems to be more expensive than nutritious food. Thus we eat what we can afford. That means we have less people suffering from obesity. Junk food must be made more expensive!
Charles Kojo vanDyck, Accra, Ghana
Yes it is true that in Zimbabwean African culture, for a man to be obese means that they are rich and well off in the contemporary era. Historically, before money came into the equation, one's status was judged by one's livestock. These days, now people dwell in urban areas, being overweight is definitely sending a message to the public that one is well-off. It is also a must in Zimbabwean culture for one's children to be seen obese - as a sign that they are being taken care of. If they are seen being skinny and always eating at the neighbour's household, this is a sign that the children's father is poor as a church mouse.
Tariro Mkondo, Marimba, Zimbabwe
Just saying, don't let what the media has programmed you to think is pretty/ugly, control you.
PassedOverInChrist, it is clear that God is concerned about our hearts in matters of salvation, but you can't be twisting completely unrelated scriptures so that they have something to do with dating. That's just not right.
More importantly, when Adam first saw Eve and broke out into song, there is no evidence that he was referring to her personality. He found her attractive! If someone's standard for finding a spouse is based entirely on looks, that's just foolish, but like I said earlier, the desire to be attracted to your spouse as a whole package and not just what's on the inside is far from sinful.
