Not to be confused with "playing hard to get", because no one likes that, it's generally considered to be a bad thing.
Would be more attracted to a girl, or more likely to go after her if you thought she was uninterested in you, or if you messaged her once, maybe, and she replied back but didn't seem to take much interest in you?
Is a woman who seems unattached a lot more likely to gain your attention, because you had to do a lot to impress her, or you felt you had to say something just right?
Does her turning you down seem to add more value to her or maybe subtly saying some things to you but then turning her attention elsewhere for a time , somehow, make her seem like a prize you have to win, and you're in competition?
I hope these questions didn't offend anyone, if so I wholeheartedly apologize, I just wanted to know, because this is a reoccurring theme I see in different scenarios, and it's kind of bothering me.
(And yes, this could apply to women who want men's affections as well) I'm just asking all general audience.
I prefer straight up honesty and sincerity. If I don't get it and I have to jump through hoops to make an impression I'll keep moving. I don't have time to play games and chase my tail.
A minute is up. I am playing hard to get. :ROFL: I hope I find a lady that does not mess with my head like I mess with all your heads. She needs to be different than me.:hearts:
I want someone who is fun but not like me. her persoaality is important.
Do not get hard to get mixed up with a solid moral standard.:peace: Sometimes a woman should expect that her morals should be upheld. Since we do have a few shiksters on this site, I have to write about respecting a woman's honor.Guys need to protect her honor. Before marriage there should be some seperation. Some may call that playing hard to get while others call it something else.
I agree with Princekermit in that being an online site like this is a different animal than face to face interaction. It comes with it's own set of pros/cons, variables, characteristics, and norms, etc.
I think that online it is easier or more tempting to read into things, over-think things, and even totally miss-interpret things. Just as an email is less personal than a phone call or face to face chat because words on a page rarely carry the same weight, emotion, feeling, and sometimes meaning as a call or a sit down talk. On a site like this there is a tendency to window shop so to speak. Where a profile view may mean someone found you in a search or saw you in chat and maybe read your whole profile, just looked at the pictures, or just looked at specific aspects of the profile before deciding to either show interest or not. So I don't put much stock in a profile view. Now I will typically view the person's profile who viewed me and if I like what I read I'll send a message and I prefer to send a real message that took thought to write. Agree I don't like the short one liner emails that to me wonder if the person is using the shotgun approach and just firing off lots of emails hoping for a bite. Winks I don't take a great deal of stock in but does let me know you liked something in my profile. As for someone adding me to their fav list. General rule if we've never communicated how can I be one of your favorites? It's like walking up to a stranger and acting like you're best friends. In general I give people the benefit of the doubt unless there's reason not to. As far as profiles, everyone has their preferences and make or break things they are looking for. Some are shallow, some are specific. Personally I'm less likely to contact someone who has maybe one sentence on the profile and no pics. I'm naturally a little skeptical of people who don't have at least one picture unless they have a reason stated for not having one due to work situation or something of that nature and state that picture is available on request. It's not that I'm superficial, but I like putting a face to the person I'm talking to.
As for the topic of hard to get, I believe the guy should be the pursuer and there should be some level of pursuit required but there is a balance there between playing games/hard to get and being too eager. Someone who is too easily wooed to me is a red flag that the person is either not discerning or easily swayed which would make me wonder if in a relationship would she be swayed away by someone else. The other extreme is someone consciously playing hard to get and wanting you to chase her I don't like that because to me that is slightly childish, a little selfish, and a bit thoughtless. It could also stems from an inability to trust, a miss-placed sense of value seeking a sense of being desired. Pursuing someone shouldn't require constantly going through hoops and never fully feeling like you've earned that person's interest. Playing mind games is cruel, and insensitive. and will not attract the right kind of person. What I I find attractive is a women who knows where she stands spiritually and is firm in her faith, has convictions someone who will take some getting to know before opening up but not so closed off that she's unapproachable. Someone who has layers where the more you know her the more open she is and if I feel she is genuine I will open up as well I feel it's a two way street.
As I've touched upon in some of my other postings, guys tend to be much more literal than women (e.g the problem solving mentality, communication, etc.). If she acts uninterested then it can and probably will be taken quite literally as not being interested!
From my own experience I would say that men/ women and every one does apreacate some challenge. It's human nature to feel more value in some thing we had to work for. Over just having it just handed to us.
Think about the young person saving up for there first car. Would they really apreacate it being handed to them on there 16th birthday? Is the parent playing games? Why not just give it to them work free?
Have you ever been to an auction? It's actually a lot of fun to win the bid. Why do you think auctions work so well? Because humans enjoy challenge. Some thing becomes much more desirable when other people want it.
What I have a huge problem with is when guys can't take a nice hint. Not all of us ladies enjoy being harsh to let men know we are just not interested. Some men might think this is us playing hard to get. But if we keep on making excuses then drop it.
Now if we hold back a bit that is difrent. If your not sure back off a bit. If she comes to you she is interested. If she doesn't then she isn't. But just as we don't want a man that kisses the ground we walk on neither do you.
Nope, nope, and nope. Such a chick sounds like some one with a frigid highschooler mindset. On top of that not being appealing to me, I don't want to try to get with somebody that doesn't want to get with me because I respect that about her and have other girls to try for or other things to do that are worthier of my time.
I think all of that stuff, whether done by women or men, is manipulative, which is, witchcraft.
If interested in someone, it will show, and there's no need to hide it.
The other side of the coin is fleshly dependence (meaning soulish emotions). If either person starts to show a dependence on the other rather than a dependence on God alone, that's a red flag. That person isn't ready for a healthy relationship to start with.
What typically happens is two half-people believing they are relying on God when in fact they are self deceived and are only serving their own soulish natures, quite deceived into thinking it is all God's will.
And if someone is dependent on God, and trusts in His sovereignty and care in all things, he or she realizes no need to pretend about anything, whether in relationships or otherwise, and after all, no need to even be married, unless it presents itself clearly as God's will.
