I have some QUESTIONS today. Answer one, answer all, just answer...pretty please :glow:
If a woman and a man are dating and are contemplating marriage, should he cut off communication with his female friend(s) if his girlfriend is uncomfortable with him having her/them around? (If, of course, she cut off her male friends, as well).
Why don't men appreciate boundaries? (They call them rules, I call them boundaries).:winksmile:
If a woman wants a man to call her EVERY DAY, and vice versa, how is that a problem? (Assuming the two of them don't see each other everyday, they work all week long, or whatever, what's the problem with picking up the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY? I always like to say, people can die in a day. Anything can happen in a day, and if you claim you really love someone and find a great deal of interest in them, why would you let a whole day pass by without calling?)
I'm with Tulip (such a wise young man!) my ex made me first cut off all contact with my male friends"there were a lot, but yes men and women CAN be friends!" and then he started to have to APPROVE of any and ALL of my friends! He didn't approve, we couldn't be friends!!! IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!!
as to the calling, women like to talk on phone, it is not as important to men. so to compromise, once every two/three days seems good!
Yes, sir, I agree with you 100%. People feel as if texting is really communicating. Yeah, maybe in a casual relationship, but certainly not in a committed relationship.
I also agree that men and women can't be friends. There may be rare exceptions, but to a large degree, it just aint gon' happen.
Well, I feel like it's just practice before marriage.
I'm not going to date anybody I can't see myself marrying at this point. And if we can see ourselves married, then he needs to cut off his female friends.
Why does he need female friends. I am his female friend. I should be his best friend.
I'm not saying this has to happen in the first week of us talking, but when we get serious, oh it must happen.
My thing is this, men and women can't be friends. Well, at least from my experience. I have never met a man that wanted to just be my friend. If they say they want to be friends, before I know it, they want more.
So that's why I feel the way I feel.
And as far as being busy, we were not called to be busy, productive, yes, busy, no. We are to live balanced lives, and if a man can't pick up the phone and call everyday when there is 24 hours in each, then he aint the one for me.
My thing is.....you should never want to be "absent" from your boo.
What you gon do when you get married? Huh? There is no getting away. God hates divorce, and so do I.
Everybody is different, so okay, I accept what you like and don't like, but I sure don't agree.
I'm very talkative so I always have something new to talk about. If I lived near a person and we can see each other during the week, that's one thing. But when I can't see them during the week, yes sir, you better believe we need to be talking EVERY DAY!
Gourd00, what you said below is what I'm trying to say.
"Two- A lot of guys who call themselves Christians aren't Christians. Many guys are looking for sex, and they will also be willing to lie to you in order to get it. In my opinion, people who are dating shouldn't even be making out, because that's like "hey, we're being physically intimate...but we are only going so far." It's right on the border that encourages people to go further, and then you have women and sometimes even men wondering why the other person kept trying to go further. "
It's stuff like that that bothers me. My thing is, if you really love someone and want to marry them, you should be willing to cut a lot of things out, and sometimes people (except family).
I agree with your last thought, as well. Of course I don't push my boundaries on them. I tell them straight up. If they say they can do it, but they really can't, whose fault is that?
IF YOU LIE ON YOUR RESUME AND GET THE JOB AND THEN CAN'T HANDLE THE DUTIES, YOU WILL BE FIRED!
Riveroflife1, you are not only beautiful, but very articulate. You go, girl. lol
You said everything I was trying to say....
"dont ask us...ask God, He made us this way...besides, how are we supposed to build a relationship if we hardly talk? We want you to want to know about us, guys, at least pretend to be interested, lol- no just kidding, dont pretend..if you find you really dont want to know about her, then she isnt for you."
I don't want a man that can't pick up the phone everyday. Anything can happen in a days time. If my husband-to-be doesn't want to speak to me daily, that's scary. Very scary.
And like I said, I guess it's because ALL of my "male friends" have tried to pursue me at one time or another, I find it hard to believe that men and women can be just friends.
And to those who said I must be insecure and stuff like that, I think not. I'm very confident and secure. Most men think I'm cocky, I'm not of course, just confident and very aware of what I want!
Boxer4Christ, I feel you buddy. I like what you said....
"Yeah, but men wind down, not by talking, but by being by themselves. We want to know more about our ladies, but we also need time to ourselves. It's how we cope with the day."
That's the problem. I feel like where there's a problem, there's a solution to be made. To me, the solution would be...COMPROMISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wind down, relax, please, take your time. Afterwards, call me. Let's talk about your day. That way, we both get what we want.
I always tell "them" call when you get situated!!! I'm not a controlling person, but I am a woman, and like Riveroflife1 said, WOMEN NEED COMMUNICATION.
The only women I know that don't need communication and could care less if they speak to you everyday are the ones who are PLAYING YOU!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaha. Trust me, been on both sides!
To clarify, this isn't anyone I'm dating at the moment, but the people I've been meeting and mingling with are acting this way which makes me not interested in pursuing marriage.
Let me take that back, I do want to be married, but not if the men of this age don't want to pick up the phone everyday. It's outrageous and ridiculous. And you're right, he should call more than once a day, but I didn't even want to say that, they would think I was psycho or something...lol
I'm in my late 20's but I remember a time when this wasn't an issue at all, it was standard. Pick up the phone and just call. I'M A BIG TALKER AND COMMUNICATOR. It's what I do, it's what I love to do. I love words. I love talking, time and attention from my baby, that's my love language.
Seems like only men out of my age group (older), are the only ones that get this. Younger dudes are CLUELESS as how to be effective husband/communicator, mainly!
