Author	Thread: Background check
Admin	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 08:09 AM Would you be upset if someone asked if you have any kind record with the police? I am interested because I did date someone who is Christian, gainfully employed, a church attender from in my area when I found out he was incarcerated for domestic abuse and bi-polar after a restraining order was obtained by me when his anger issue became my problem. If I had done a background check I would have never dated him to begin with. Now I do background checks, prayer and confirmation before I date anyone. Do you find this type of cautionary procedure offensive? Post Reply
DarkMocha View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 03:25 PM I believe background checks should only be used for a few things. Educational job application, military entrancing, and political candidacy. Those all make sense to me because they all have great responsibility placed on them and I wouldn't want anyone who was of a bad background doing any of those things. However, background checks in dating? Really? Unless you have reason to believe they have a shady background or have their explicit permission I believe that is not only unnecessary but inappropriate. If you feel they are not all they seem to be and are hiding something that shouldn't be than ask them about it, sit down together and make sure everything is as it seems. I know I would be highly offended if I found that someone who I asked out on a date did a background check on me. If someone wants to know about someone else a background check is not the way to do it. Regardless of the situation. Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 03:45 PM true but sad, after world war 2 certain criminals from Nazi Germany hid who they were and took fake names.They even got married. Our state dept. let them in.Some were found and delt with. Mocha how would you like it too find out your wife killed millions of people?????? Background checks serve many good things.It stops sex offenders from getting close to your kids. If you dig deep enough you can find some things.In some states before you get married you have to get a VD check up. Dennis Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 03:52 PM I wouldn't be upset. First, because my record is clean. Second, even if I had a record I believe a woman I am dating has the right to know about it--this shows me that I am dating a wise woman. Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 04:18 PM dgrimater; notice how you said they took fake names? do you think a street wise/ technology wise criminal will be using their real identity? again someone share how you will do a background check without enough uniquely identifiying information on someone? "John Smith of New York City" is not going to be enough to do a background check on. Are you willing to give your SSN to someone you have just started dating so they can do a background check? And if you have been dating someone for six months you should be able to pick up red flags of concern. If you haven't because they are that good at faking it, they will have a fake data trail as well. like Chevy pointed out, what do you do with someone who has come to Christ. Isn't Christ supposed to change us? Aren't we new people, changed people?. Now what? So what they didn't tell you. They know that as soon as they tell someone they get dumped even though they have changed their life. They figure it is better to wait a little while into the relationship (right or wrong) before saying something. Does a person ever then get to be considered rehabilitated? Changed? A new creature? Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 05:47 PM For the background check all someone needs is a name, a city of residence and their birthdate. Everything if the information given is accurate can be found on you. I have the United States court system website in my PC from the previous person whom I had a restraining order done on. Nothing is private anymore so wake up the world isn't private anywhere anymore because of technology. There is a website that you can punch in a person's email address and get their financial report, their place of residency and income. Yes the technology we invented is going to be our ruin eventually. Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 05:55 PM I don't think I'd rely on what I would find out in a background check to determine whether or not I would date someone. People change! I'm living proof of that. Deborah Post Reply
View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 06:02 PM To Dark Mocha; Evendently you have never been physically intimidated or attacked while dating. I have been. Therefore you can say that you would be offended. I am sorry for your opinion but you are entitled. My comment to you humbly I write this I value my life more than I do offending anyone. If someone says they have nothing to hide I should believe them? If there is nothing to hide why be offended on the check? We all have boundaries in life, your boundary is to not have your background checked, my boundary is to stay safe. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 06:30 PM I don't think I'd do a background check on a guy I wanted to date. Google his name, sure. But basically if I felt that there was anything amiss, no matter how small, I wouldn't continue to date him. Of course, I haven't had any bad experiences. As for a guy doing a background check on me, I certainly wouldn't mind him doing a Google search on my name. But I don't think I'd want to give him my SSN for a "real" background check. Not until we were married, anyway...and at that point, it wouldn't really matter! Post Reply
shepherdess View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 06:32 PM thanks for the facinating thread! Obviously lots of opions~some of which are based on experience. Hopefully we are able to learn from other's experiences when they are the tough ones and then not have to go through them ourselves. Shawn: well wishes on your paramedicine classes! I am familar. Am also familiar w/ Bi-polar disorder which was mentioned. for those who haven't been walkin next to someone in those shoes...you have NOOO idea. (And on a good day, someone w/ the disorder might hand-deliver a requested background check, the next day he might just punch you out instead!) :boxing: And of course, the disorder can be hidden for years and there is no "check" to find out anyway! As a woman, and addressing women, we Do need to be wise and Careful. (so should the men, but hopefully they are bigger and can take a punch better:rolleyes: How sad that this is so important in our lives! Doesn't say much for us...Am so very thankful for God's amazing grace and how He got me here...safe and sound so far :hearts: Post Reply
Mercymay View Profile History	Background check Posted : 8 Jan, 2011 06:47 PM From the true stories that Ann Rule have written about, most of the times the culprits are really cunning no backgrounds checks will reveal who they really are. So finding a mate really exposes us to some risks. I believe we need to pray to spare us from meeting the wrong person. When later in the relationship it didn�t work, maybe he/she is serpent in disguise God just saved us from due to our continuous appeal for protection. This thought is something to rejoice for the failed attempts Sometimes also, when the heart has fallen, we just see what we want to see. Love make us blind to the red flags, we justify, we cover, for love do cover all wrongs, right? Therefore, guard your heart and lots of :prayingm::prayingf: Post Reply

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