Author	Thread: The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance
Admin	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 20 Dec, 2010 06:45 PM Hey Christian Guys, would you discuss with your fianc�e what you like and dislike sexually? Why or Why Not? Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 08:41 AM That sounds like a GREAT book for Christian gals and guys, Cobbler!!! :yay::yay::yay::applause::applause::applause: I agree with two, Arch, and everyone who feels that a gal and guy SHOULD discuss sex and what sex acts they specifically enjoy the most with each other and would be barefoot blessed to express their love for each other in sharing these specific sex acts before they become engaged without getting too detailed in their discussion, and for the same reasons that were given. Steve Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 04:58 PM I know this question was really directed to the guys, but can I put in my 2 cents here? As a girl, I would really appreciate a fairly general discussion about sex before the engagement. This could be as simple as a discussion on the question "What do you think are Biblical guidelines for intimacy in a Christian marriage?" I've had that conversation more than once with friends (both girl friends and guy friends), and when kept general enough, it is a very appropriate topic. Once I'm engaged to a guy, I think it would be appropriate to discuss our individual expectations of sex in marriage (such as frequency, use of birth control, willingness to try new things, etc.), but not necessarily our preferences. Here's why I wouldn't want to discuss my preferences: I'm a virgin and I don't KNOW my preferences...that is something that my husband will have to help me find out! I also hope that my future hubby will be a virgin as well, but if he's not, I would hope that he's NOT so experienced that he knows exactly what he likes and doesn't like. It is just a really weird thought to me that he would already know his preferences because of his experiences with someone else. If he has been married before, I guess that would be different, but he would really have to understand that I'm NOT the same person as his ex/late wife...in or out of bed. Does that make sense to you guys? Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 05:13 PM BC, I think you hit the nail on the head, and the book I recommended has pretty much the same guidelines. I too am a virgin, and don�t have any preference either. I would prefer to find someone whom I we can discover our preferences together instead of having to be compared to someone else. Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 21 Dec, 2010 06:20 PM Yes, I would. I would discuss it probably a few months before the marriage, just so we could get it in the open and let it settle before we got married. If anything freaked either one of us out, we'd have time to discuss it instead of brushing it away as unimportant. As a virgin myself, I do have some ideas as to what I'd like or dislike, but some of that gets modified or changed depending on your partner. Post Reply
cajunkonection View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 25 Dec, 2010 08:34 PM First let me clarify I'm not advocating fornication. That said I, for example am a Christian now and haven't had sex since I surrendered my life to the Lord (aand will not either) but I'm also not a virgin. My point is: If you've never had sex, how can you know sexually what you like and don't like? Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 26 Dec, 2010 11:41 AM Cajunkonection: You are correct, a virgin would not know what they would like or dislike. But, they would have an idea of what sounds interesting to them, or more importantly, what doesn�t sound interesting, or even sounds disgusting. It is important that one partner not be more adventurous than what the other is willing to go. Once the couple gets some experience, they can then begin to explore other things. But, you don�t want to shock your partner on your wedding night by trying something that is way beyond what the other was envisioning for the evening. One question that certainly should be asked, even before you get engaged, is if you sexually desire each other. Post Reply
cajunkonection View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 26 Dec, 2010 02:44 PM Marriage isn't all about sex, but why would you get engaged to someone who you're not physically attracted to. And before this gets said, I don't think God would give you someone you weren't attracted to, because He. Wants us to enjoy our spouses. Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 27 Dec, 2010 10:38 AM I would definitely want to have a discussion -- sooner rather than later. Like pianogal said, though, I don't know what my preferences are. I have a couple of vague ideas, but nothing concrete, since I really don't know how any of it will feel. But, I would want to know what to expect our first time (to help ease my nerves). Things like birth control would need to be discussed very specifically. Post Reply
View Profile History	The "S" Word w/ Your Fiance Posted : 4 Jan, 2011 09:59 AM Thanks everyone for your input.. I hope that your input has answered some questions others may have had.... or gave some insight on the topic... Post Reply

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