... first, let me do a disclaimer here...if this has been posted and/or questioned before, I haven't seen it. I did not take the time to wade through all the subject matter to discover this particular topic...
So, here is my question:
If a man posts his profile and he is over the age of 60 ~ and he is interested in marriage or finding a marriage partner ~ and his age range begins at the age of 18 (listing of those he would be interested in speaking to, etc.)...how do you feel about that?
It gives me the chills and I wonder...but I sure got a Red Flag when I see things like that.
What would a 60+ year old man want with an 18-year-old. Is this age appropriate?
Someone steer me in the right direction because as it stands now, it makes me more than a bit uncomfortable.
"What would a 60+ year old man want with an 18-year-old."
What these men are failing to do is ask themselves, "What would an 18-year-old want to do with a 60+ year old man?" I got a LOT of messages and winks when I was first on this site, and I feel I can honestly say MOST of them were from men at least 40 years or older. I was 21.
Most of them would say they didn't want a woman with "baggage" (children, divorces, of which most of these men had themselves), or they didn't want someone who would "die on them". So naturally, a college-aged girl would be totally understanding and willing to deal with HIS "baggage" and having him die on her when she hits 30? I don't think they even consider what this kind of age dynamic would be like for the woman, only the benefits they, the older man, would have.
"Is this age appropriate?"
This is a complicated answer: Yes, because it's very immature/naive to think such a young woman would choose you over a man closer to her own age, so maybe this makes them childish. No, because it seems to be rooted in weird ego problems and selfishness.
I know this is the Ask A Guy forum, but I feel like I have some special insight into this phenomenon to contribute. :goofball:
I posted my "technical" answer, now for the other half.
I am 43, I have a hard time considering a woman older than me, say like 45, 47, since that starts approaching the 50 mark. Honestly I feel pretty young and probably act to young, so the idea of a woman getting toward 50 freaks me out. 50 implies grandmother and I don't know that I can handle the thought of dating a grandmother. I normally set my age criteria around 33-41. A little younger than me but not too much so. There is also a pragmatic reason there, as I am more likely to find a woman who has never been married (same as me) in the 30's age range vs the 40's. Finding a woman never married in her 40's is almost impossible on this site.
Also suggesting younger/much younger is wrong has a cultural underpinning to it. Look at other cultures and it is somewhat normal for women to like older men. Just throwing that out there, that the question itself has an American cultural mindset to it.
And, just as an aside ~ me thinks some protest too much, but, perhaps I digress.
I am a firm believer that some ~ not all ~ but SOME men begin to look at their own mortality the closer they/he gets over the hill ~ to a degree. More years behind than ahead...that sort of syndrome.
As well, I also believe that some men try to reach back into times earlier and then go out and buy that red car (" ... I have always wanted a red car ...") ~ though in life it was either beige or gray ~ as he was married ~ children ~ and now everything is about as beige as the car he owns.
Turns a new leaf ~ buys that red car ~ no, let's make it a convertible ~ with red leather seats. He purchases the Top Cop sun shades and off he goes.
I call that.......... WOMEN PAUSE....... and rightly so.
I am not trying to be in your face about this ~ but the gentleman who so (less than eloquently, I might add) became very descriptive regarding women and what they NATURALLY go through in life ~ needs to realize as well that women, in their patience, see this aging process with men as a matter of fact ~ and can laugh about it as well.
Gravitational pull works for both genders, folks. (, here) :ROFL::ROFL:
First, I think we all need to understand that a good portion of men on this site ARE NOT CHRISTIAN. That's right. There is no entrance exam. There is no requirement that they post a testimony. There is no peer approval/social aspect to it. Anyone can sign up here and if you're desperate enough, you'll lie about what faith you have.
Second, there is a cultural bias against younger women/older men, even though older men may very well have the money, the status, the wisdom, etc, that women like. I'm NOT saying that I want this, myself; I'm just saying that it's not unBiblical. ShepardingKing pointed us to the Word. All of Scripture is profitable.
Third, you have to set your age range wide if you want to talk to people outside of the forums in that age.
Fourth, some people just don't think about it. They're lazy.
Now, Occam's Razor states that the most likely explanation is usually the answer. I think #1 is our winner.
What an older guy wants a younger woman for is not really a realistic QUESTION, most know answer. It is obvious or it should be. But the implication is that these men are so how not proper for doing so shows a inclination to rush to judgement. This is the real danger to men being nagged for as yet unfounded allegations.
Trusting God's wisdom, Abraham was 10 yrs older than Sarah, But she brought him great wealth. Changes in life are a normal part of God's plan. But not all of us have lived a normal life when it comes to romantic relationships.
Am I wrong to think a healthy physical relationship is too be expected after 50. That may be the real question. Should guys seeking marriage expect to have a satisfying physical relationship, too. Or should they just be happy with an emotional bond doing girl stuff like shopping or watching the grand kids. :party:
I had originated this and asked three specific questions:
How did you feel about my comment
What would a 60 plus man want with an ....blah blah
And...do you believe it to be age appropriate.
I posed the question; however, I did not throw stones in the process.
Again, thank you all for your comments and suggestions. As I stated, they are all valuable.
And,BTW, I do not believe that there is an age limit on the stopping point with wanting there to still be passion in one's life. It is not like a faucet running hot or cold. And, because someone reaches the qge of 59 or higher...or even in that decade, that it now means they are now ready for the dust heap.
To make a blanket comment that women over 50 and/or who have gone through menopause are interested in not much more than watching the grandkids and shopping..... almost leaves me speechless.
Luckily, I recovered. If that statement were any more ridiculous it would be a cartoon. What a flimsly excuse for a guy going after a young girl who has barely finished High School.
Sexual drive is an individual thing and is not based just on age or male or females. Background, health, experience, a good partner --- all these and more are factors that have nothing to do with menopause, MANopause, or being male or female. To borrow a phrase from BG - "yeah, I said it"
, here) :ROFL::ROFL: