Thread: Are Christian women getting too picky these days............?
Admin
Are Christian women getting too picky these days............?
Posted : 29 Oct, 2010 12:54 AM
Being choosey narrows the field of potential partners that's true, and having boundaries and conditions is beneficial also....so where is the line drawn?
Have Christian women become too picky in seeking a potential partner? It is written in Scripture not to be unequally yolked and tells us how to treat a husband/wife...so for those of us Bible believing followers, we have foundations to start with....so why so many Christian women (including me) not finding what we are looking for??
I am thinking maybe we have gotten off track and are chasing a more "worldly" ideal man.....Brad Pitt looks does not necessarily mean happy ever after................or are looks a large slice of the "happiness" pie...?
It seems to be harder as a person gets older to find a suitable partner but I am blown away by how many 20 somethings are also not finding what they are looking for.....seems like something has really gone wrong somehow....
Are Christian women getting too picky these days............?
Posted : 29 Oct, 2010 07:36 PM
Well yeah we're more picky - we've got so many more men to choose from these days with the internet! I no longer need to be so socialable when I'm out in public, or try to go to group single nights or any other thing that I would have 10 years ago, cause I can just sit on my butt and have a billion fish to choose from right here in my living room! hmm that doesn't sound so good anymore...
Are Christian women getting too picky these days............?
Posted : 29 Oct, 2010 09:18 PM
I don�t think most of the pickiness is physical, the exception being women fussing over a man�s height. Most women will say they do not care when asked, but clearly have a strong preference for taller men. I think most of the issue is right there in the original post, that Christian men and women are putting themselves on pedestals, so to them being �equally yoked� is to find somebody way out of their league. A lot of people go into a dating quest with certain ideas of what they will and will not accept, which is fine and probably good, but have subconscious prejudices and shallow ideals that they let get in the way. Everybody seems to want a clone of who they are, just with the different set of reproductive organs (going back to what sparrow said about male wives in a loose way), and that is hugely unrealistic. Virgins wanting ONLY other virgins (kind of unforgiving and close-minded if you ask me, so definitely not a �need� in my opinion), people without tattoos wanting somebody else without tattoos� it gets out of hand.
Something I have noticed is that the �whole package� now means secular, worldly beauty (not natural God-given beauty, but hey look at me �beauty� with the clothes, makeup, and affectations) with all the right Christian �buzzwords�. If somebody is good looking and looks very �normal�, but uses the right vernacular (talking about their �walk�, capitalizing words to look all reverent, talking about God and prayer constantly), they seem to be a winner. It is very superficial, but I�m seeing it more and more.
People aren�t always looking for other people, with flaws and feelings and pasts, but an accessory to enhance their image, be it an image of piety, wealth, or �attractiveness�.
Are Christian women getting too picky these days............?
Posted : 29 Oct, 2010 09:33 PM
Christian women may be picky, but I'm picky too. I don't have near enough time to message every single woman on this site with the hopes that we might become more than friends. And don't even get me started on asking out every single woman I meet. I mean, geeze! I'd never have time to hang out with my friends!
Are Christian women getting too picky these days............?
Posted : 30 Oct, 2010 03:49 PM
I think too many people try to see all the sides to someone too soon.Dating sites are just a very basic introduction or advertisement of an available person, nothing more. Everyone has good and bad, but to really weigh someone up takes a fair amount of time and a bit of risk. Your not going to do it on the net! I don't class a few messages here and there as a relationship. Until your meeting in the flesh you don't have a relationship.
Are Christian women getting too picky these days............?
Posted : 30 Oct, 2010 04:58 PM
Wow.. where to start with this thread. Some good words of wisdom thus far!
What I've noticed and this is only recently (perhaps the last 5 years) is that most women are looking for "men of a mold". There is a picture perfect man, well two of them that women are yearning for.
From the one mold comes a man who possesses the following attributes: successful career, family oriented, goal/accomplishment oriented, gentle, fun, loving, and well toned muscles as advertised on TV. Sin included.
From the other mold there is a man who strives daily to serve the Lord any way he can. He is simply selfless and looks often to the heavens for advice, counsel, and strength from the Lord. He's not a 'roid/chemical popping model, he is losing his hair, he may have a milk belly, or look pale for lack of sunlight. (This isn't describing me physically but to give a common example.) Of his sense of humor isn't very appealing, he might seem a little aggressive for your tastes, but he is good humble man that repents often and talks to Jesus often. Sin included.
Of those two molds, which would a Godly Proverbs 31 woman desire the most? Which would seem more equally yoked? I truly hope I won't offend anyone with what is about to be typed but I have to say that thanks to television entertainment... this fallen world has a very warped rendition of what beauty truly is, and what it isn't. In 2nd Samuel, man may look to the outward appearance but God looks to the heart. We live in a beyond-superficial world that has shaped itself to the point where men take chemical supplements to 'look good' without regard to how that will affect their body in 15 years. We have women who starve themselves to near death just to feel better about themselves, or that a guy might take interest.
That's just part of the damage that the fallen world does to minds and hearts.
When it comes to relationships, for myself personally I try to keep good clean friends instead of joining a local gang of unsavory riff-raff. I still believe though that far too many people have lofty expectations of what God has in mind for them, neither man or woman excluded. Some just choose to find imperfections within what the *eyes* perceive as 'perfect' instead of finding 'perfect' [u]because[/u] of imperfections as then we're actually looking at another persons heart rather than looks that are guaranteed to fade over time.
If anyone is thinking about marriage, a true dance in the Lord's eyes.. I'd recommend leaving the fallen worlds indoctrination in another room, or at a Catholic church for exorcism.
I can only imagine what life was like prior to image and status being overwhelmingly consuming to the mind on a mass scale. There were probably a lot of soft, gentle, loving people... and very few head games involved.
One last bit for you lecture-lovers = )
If you're patiently waiting for God's best where you just have to sit pretty/handsome and wait ( amen to whomever said God may be shaping you both! ) I wanted to offer an analogy for entertainment and stirring thought;
Frank* is sitting there at work. He started an 8 hour shift about 2 hours ago and didn't have much for breakfast. His stomach is aching badly and he's having trouble concentrating on his work. A lot of different foods start passing through his mind and he knows he just wants something to eat and it was a designed necessity in life from God to desire food.
Waiting for the perfect man to reach out and pursue is a fallen world tradition/custiom. In Old Testament, there were many arranged marriages, and many instances where daughters were presented for choosing as a potential suitor. One thing I've learned while walking through life is that "old-fashioned" and "biblical" can be two distinctly different things and often. (Chivalry should stay of course - my vote is we ban guns and bring swords/swordplay back.. the thee's, the thou's.. and speaking to a woman much as a poet would. Back then, using a sword well required some skill. Anyone can pull a trigger within a 10' range and do fatal damage. Kids do it now and they're not certified nor trained.
Anyway, back to Frank and to end the analogy, lecture, and overall wall of this reply. A woman who is set in mind about God's best finding her, where she does nothing but wait... is much like Frank about 7 hours into his workday getting out early for feeling sick, and as he exits the place... a well dressed man shows up with a covered silver platter. The well dressed man lifts up the cover only to reveal what deep down, Frank wanted most to appease his appetite and Frank *never* phoned out for any food.
Too many people just really don't know what they want to eat, I'd reckon. Also, far too many people have forgotten who they are in Christ, and when that happens.. everything else in life is skewed away from God.
When you became born again, Heaven gave you an official title and rank: Saint of Love. You could also in truth believe that you're a son or daughter of a King with ultimate power over the enemy.
This fallen world would rather you feel you know nothing at all when you're fighting to earn a high school degree and subsequently being indoctrinated by it, a collegiate level degree, or another advanced degree... making you unworthy of self-appreciation or respect until you buy it or earn it. You don't even earn your way into Heaven, that's a free gift from salvation through Christ.
This will seem out of place here, but please don't spend $40,000 on information that will be completely obsolete and evolved in 15 years - especially if it's turning you into a superficial person. To this day I see new information correcting what I was taught in the 3rd grade through the 7th grade. Also, Microsoft itself stated that in 5 years the information on the internet will rival a 4 year college education. I'd say it's just about there now if you know where to look.
Men = They were born with an ego deficiency (the bible says a fatherless generation is a cursed generation as well.)
Wiomen = Most will not pursue, however those that do find a man - his ego is stroked because she did make that carefully thought out initial step and reached out.
God bless you now and forever!
*Frank is a fictional character. I would have went with Butch but the story needed less abrasion.
Are Christian women getting too picky these days............?
Posted : 30 Oct, 2010 08:38 PM
I think you could make the case that people in general are too picky, but about the wrong things. Once you establish that you both are Christ-followers, examining what you've been called to do, your gifts, and other issues of "fittedness" are what's important -- not money, houses, cars, parents, and so forth. It's harder to focus on these things in a flesh-drenched visually saturated society.
