Author	Thread: Keeping ex's photo...
cmseeker10 View Profile History	Keeping ex's photo... Posted : 28 Oct, 2010 05:23 AM Hello brothers, I have a question for you all and every idea /response will be highly appreciated. 1.Are you a guy who would keep your ex's wife or girlfriend's photo even the relationship is over?Why? 2.Is it ok if a lady you're presently dating ask you why? 3.Would you regard it as being confrontational? Keeping a family pics like your ex and the kids is undertandable but solo photos and photo of you both is a two different thing. Most of us ladies get rid of past relationship photos so I wanna know what's the difference ..Hope to hear from you guys.. Lis.. Post Reply
View Profile History	Keeping ex's photo... Posted : 20 Nov, 2010 09:31 AM Hmm. My perspective comes after the end of a marriage for 17 years. As in most any marriage, during that time pictures were taken of her with my family as we spent time together. There are also pictures I have of us together and those I have of her alone as any husband would have. With my divorce came a need to deal with all of this imagery. It brings up too many memories I'd rather not dwell on any more but it also poses problems. I can't get rid of my family pictures because she's in them, so I haven't. However, all of the pictures of us and her as a "couple" are all in storage as a part of a history that is behind me. They are in boxes or in scanned file folders I don't look into any longer. Maybe I should really toss them all but going through the stacks of pictures to separate them is a chore I don't have time to do. I have one picture of my ex actually physically posted and that is at work for one reason and one reason only .. to remind me to pray for her spiritual restoration and return to God. My desire to put her completely out of mind so I can move on is so total that I will wake up in the morning and not think to do that and it would be a sin for me not to pray for her to do that, hence it stays there. I have the same pic on my FB also that I should delete, but it's also in my collection of family pictures. I never look at the FB ones. Why? First of all, I don't look back. My ex is history and merits only my prayers for her to turn back to God. But most importantly, the beautiful woman who I have met HERE on CDFF, however, has a far more prominant place in my computer desktop at work and we text and speak to one another quite frequently. I am truly and prayerfully hoping we have a future and hope soon to meet her. We're still feeling one another out and she has been a true blessing to me in so many ways, enough for me to want to know if there's other ways we can be a blessing to one another. If she was to ask me about it, I would not find it confrontational. We have discussed my recent past off and on and I am coming to really understand a woman's desire to feel secure when considering a relationship with a man who has a past of other relationships. Much of that comes with how much she believes the man is truly beyond his past. He needs to be completely honest with her about it and pictures sometimes become a sore point on that regard. I am coming to really understand how pictures of a man's ex-wife and girlfriends (visual cues to which men are prone to fall prey to revisiting too inordinately) can be threatening and even upsetting to them. I'd say you need to approach this with candor and with honesty. If those visual pics extend to his cell phone and other things and he gets defensive or vague about it, then concern is valid. I want to be very sensitive to how my girl feels about it and make very clear that it's she alone who is the planet I want to orbit around - NOT my ex. That's why I want her pictures around me instead and have amassed a collection of everything she's sent me including her Facebook pictures. I love looking at them and seeing her present, including her children and family. I live there and not the past. I want her to be aware of that .. Post Reply

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