Author Thread: Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris
Posted : 2 Oct, 2010 05:13 PM

Due to semi-popular request, here is the Chuck Norris thread!



I'll start:



Chuck Norris can win Connect Four in three moves.

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Chuck Norris
Posted : 3 Oct, 2010 12:55 PM

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.



Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times



If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.



When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.



Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one!



There are no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

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Chuck Norris
Posted : 3 Oct, 2010 09:04 PM

Chuck Norris found Hidden Valley.

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Chuck Norris
Posted : 4 Oct, 2010 09:48 AM

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.



Chuck Norris rhymes with "orange."

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Chuck Norris
Posted : 4 Oct, 2010 11:08 AM

:ROFL: Those are good!



Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.



Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.



Chuck Norris isn�t lactose intolerant. He just doesn�t put up with it.

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Chuck Norris
Posted : 4 Oct, 2010 12:13 PM

Chuck Norris has all power to make the wind and the rambling of a fight to obey his will... his hair never moves nor is fussed up, nor are his clothes a mess after a fight.:ROFL:

Church Norris made Texas give him his green card, that's why he is a real life Texas Ranger.

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Chuck Norris
Posted : 4 Oct, 2010 02:08 PM

Chuck Norris is almost John Wayne.

:nahnah:

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Chuck Norris
Posted : 4 Oct, 2010 09:28 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't come his hair. It I lays down out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares at them until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch because HE decides what time it is.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing the earth down.

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Chuck Norris
Posted : 6 Oct, 2010 11:46 AM

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.



Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.



Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.



Chuck Norris can drown a fish.



Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

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Chuck Norris
Posted : 7 Oct, 2010 12:12 PM

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.



Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.



Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.



Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because the only element he recognizes is the element of surprise.



When life hands Chuck Norris lemons, he makes orange juice.



Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

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Chuck Norris
Posted : 10 Oct, 2010 06:25 AM

I love these things!:boxing:



Chuck Norris' pregnant mother didn't crave ice cream or pickles, but rusty nails.



Chuck Norris compares apples and oranges.



It's illegal to yell "Chuck Norris" on an airplane.



Chuck Norris decides whether Santa's been naughty or nice.

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