Author	Thread: Should women pursue men?
Jeremiah21 View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 2 Oct, 2010 07:21 AM Should women pursue men in the courting process? Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 2 Oct, 2010 04:13 PM So as a guy can you give some practical ways for a woman to do this? We have been taught so long to let pursue us. I never thought about being pursuable Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 2 Oct, 2010 08:09 PM I think a lot of the reasons why men don't pursue women is because usually women treat men like they are fungal creations kept in the back of a fridge for expressing any interest. Thus, guys are hesitant to suggest romance. Being pursueable is a great way to go, because it allows the woman to actively do something and it allows the guy to be a guy and be bold. Being pursuable -- here's a few ideas. Be open in your body language; no crossed arms. Smile. Don't wall yourself in with friends, making it hard for a guy to talk to you individually. Develop interests or hobbies that aren't stereotypically female, so that you'll be able to chime in about them -- and thus demonstrate to men that you're safe to talk to. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 2 Oct, 2010 09:13 PM I'm still not 100% sure what "pursuing" means, or where it came about that relationships were the sole responsibility of the man. There is nothing inherently fun about "the chase" in and of itself, and I don't like to "hunt" just for the sake of hunting. Men and women should be free to flirt with each other, enjoy spending time with each other, and contemplate moving towards a romantic relationship without having to worry about who is pursuing who. Do I think men should be leaders? Absolutely. I'll gladly be intentional about moving forward in a relationship. It's frustrating, though, when the girl seems more interested in drawing out "the chase" than she is in moving things forward. There needs to be a back and forth. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 3 Oct, 2010 10:05 AM My heart's feelings and my spirit's wisdom on a woman being "pursuable" are: If you're here on CDFF and have created an attractive profile that may prompt a guy to write to you to let you know you have accomplished your goal in getting a guy to e-mail you, the least you can and SHOULD do is respond one time to the guy to share your heart about whether or not you find him interesting to you too and would or would not like to have him continue to write to you!!! Too many women on CDFF seem to feel its OK to completely ignore the e-mail they've received and tell the guy THAT way that they are NOT interested in HIM!!! What has happened to politeness, kindness and love for her brother in Christ in the hearts of so many sisters in Christ?!!! When this rudeness and lack of sensitivity to a guy's heart and the fact that he "risked rejection" to write to her (and we all know how much rejection hurts all of us, male or female), it make me wonder if that particular gal really IS my sister in Christ or just SAYING she is, playing games here on CDFF in the same way she does on other singles sites!!! ... Part of a gal being "pursuable" is being polite and responding lovingly as a sister in Christ to every guy who writes her, whether she finds him to be someone she wants to pursue her or not ... this holds true for the guys too, of course!!! Steve Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 3 Oct, 2010 02:17 PM Good points, Tulip. A relationship is a two-way street. I don't know where the whole pursuit/chase thing comes from exactly, but I do know that the Wild At Heart books have added fuel to the fire. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 3 Oct, 2010 03:12 PM Yeah, Wild at Heart started off great. By about a quarter of the way in, I couldn't get any further because of all the liberties he took with scripture and theology. And Barefoot, would you rather a girl start talking to you to be polite, get your hopes up, and then tell you she isn't interested when she knew she wasn't interested from the beginning? How is it not easier on you for her to just not reply, keeping you from getting more emotionally invested? Post Reply
View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 3 Oct, 2010 06:34 PM Tulip, I don't get my hopes up where they shouldn't be by a gal just being polite enough to reply one time to my e-mail to her ... do you? .. that would be pretty insecure, don't cha think? I actually appreciate a polite reply to my e-mails from a sister in Christ over the rudeness of no reply at all ... but, perhaps my e-mails differ from the types you and other guys send out ... I usually try to happily express my interest in the gal in a jovial manner, asking her some questions to reply to about some of the things she's shared that she's interested in on her profile, sharing my interest in those things too ... I DON'T ASK HER TO MARRY ME, ridiculously, or something like that kind of "risking rejection" experience guys experience in this kind of a nervous "heart out there" proposal situation ... so ... what's wrong with a polite reply to a friendly e-mail expressing interest in getting to know that gal better to see if you and she might develop in time, under God's guidance, a relationship that goes beyond friendship? Is THIS too much to ask, too much of a waste of a gal's valuable time on CDFF? ... I would hope not, if she's my sister in Christ. Steve Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 3 Oct, 2010 08:34 PM Please don't tell me you think it's normal to propose marriage in the first message... Post Reply
View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 4 Oct, 2010 08:30 AM Of course NOT, Tulip!!! That's why I said I DON'T DO THAT!!! I was using that statement to make the point that I don't say things like that in my e-mails, and, of COURSE I believe NO GUY OR GAL should!!! ... so ... where's the harm in a Christian sister politely replying one time to any guy's e-mail expressing an interest in her from reading her profile? I see none. She's not leading him on to an "emotional investment" in her, as you put it, by politely replying she's not interested in writing to him but "thank you for your interest in me and writing me to let me know you're interested in me." This is the heart of a Christian sister that blesses her Christian brother, rather than giving him the same message rudely as un-Christian women do with no reply at all, just ignoring that she was even loving wriiten to by her Christian brother, Tulip. Steve Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Should women pursue men? Posted : 4 Oct, 2010 10:05 AM I feel like if she isn't interested in me, she isn't interested in me, and it doesn't make me feel a lot better that she messaged me to tell me instead of just ignoring me. Post Reply

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