Author	Thread: Should I...?
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 07:48 PM Hi guys, I need your advice on a matter. Here's some history on the situation: Last week I messaged a guy (on another site) who seemed to have a lot of possible dating potential. All I said was that the computer was saying we were a good match and based on his profile, it did seem like we might have a lot in common. I said that if he would like to chat or email, just let me know. I tried to keep it very basic, non-threatening, friendly, and open-ended...no pressure to even answer that first message. He responded the next day and said that he liked my profile, and was interested in getting to know me more. He asked me a few questions, I responded, he answered back that he'd been busy at work, but that he would write a longer email over the weekend. He did so, and asked more questions. I responded back and answered his questions, and asked a few of my own (nothing too personal or scary, just basic questions about hobbies and interests). He responded within 5 minutes and sounded excited to hear that we have a favorite music group in common. I replied to that, and haven't heard from him since. That was Monday afternoon. It is now Friday night. Here is my dilemma: should I message him once more and just ask how his week was? Should I assume that no reply means that he no longer wishes to communicate with me (even though that is NOT the feeling I got from his last message)? Should I be blunt and ask him if I offended him in some way that would cause him to disappear with no explanation? Another thing that I've thought of is trying to IM him next time I see that he's online...maybe I could feel out the situation by the way he responds to that. I do know that he logs on at least once a day because the site tells me so. I don't know if he's only on for a couple minutes or several hours. Or should I just wait and do nothing? I'm not one to pester a guy. If he doesn't want to converse with me, fine. If he never even answers that first message, fine. My skin is pretty thick at this point, and I don't get offended easily by people online. What does bother me, though, is when someone just drops the ball on what seems to be a good conversation. I don't know if I offended him, or if he lost interest, or if he has a dozen other girls he's trying to message and mine just got stuck at the bottom of the pile. SOOO...my question to you guys is this: if you were this guy, how would YOU want me to respond? Why would you want that? Do you have any other suggestions? Thanks in advance for all your help, guys! Y'all rock! :rocknroll: Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 02:16 PM Yeah, I guess you should send a followup. If he's really busy at work, it's easy to lose an email (especially if you're disorganized at work). Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 06:07 PM Hello, "He's just not that into you." Men will ALWAYS pursue what they want. This is the toughest thing for a woman especially when we feel the person is a good match. The truth is he does not feel the same. God has someone for you that you will not need to wonder if he is interested. God bless! Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 19 Sep, 2010 12:38 AM I think I usually get a feeling about whether to write a follow-up or not. If you decided to do it - great! Don't want to be nosey or something - but you could share the outcome with us :) as a sort of encouragement you know :) cheers Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 19 Sep, 2010 05:30 AM Well, I sent a "Hope your week was great..." sort of message yesterday, but I noticed this morning that he's not even logged on to the site since mid-day Friday and therefore probably hasn't seen the message yet. I'll keep y'all posted on this, but I really don't think I'll hear back from him. And that's OK. I just wish I knew what it was about me that sent him running so suddenly! Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 19 Sep, 2010 09:15 AM You really can't think about that. I've had girls message me first, messaged them back, and never heard from them again. It makes no sense, but people are all different. It's best to just not think about it. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 21 Sep, 2010 08:43 PM Well, I sent that follow-up message on Saturday, but the guy hasn't even logged in since Friday. Which is unusual because he was typically logging on at least once per day, sometimes several times per day. It makes me wonder if he's out of town. Don't know. Anyway, I'm not counting on ever hearing back from him at this point! So the search for Mr. Right continues! Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 21 Sep, 2010 10:18 PM Aw, I'm sorry =( But it will be okay. It just means that God has someone better for you... And it will be worth the wait. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 22 Sep, 2010 01:24 AM Hey BC, I don't mean to be cynical but like Dee said, maybe he's just not that into you (someway somehow, not your fault). I'm praying for the best for you but.. Other possibilities are, he is busy, he is out of town like you said, he appears invisible in his messenger (who knows), he has computer issues, he is busy with his new puppy lol, any possibility could happen here. Remember, if God's willing, it will be done (Revelations3:8) :angel: Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 22 Sep, 2010 05:32 AM Stop analyzing and just take the fact that he has not contacted you as a fact. Why must you have done something wrong and why do you protect him so much in assuming that he might be out of town, sick, busy or what else? And why people seem to know that he is not into you that much? He has not contacted you. PERIOD. Now you know how he is. He jumps as easily into an intensive emailing and drops out as easily as well. What you should be asking yourself is: do I want such a bouncer? :waving::waving::waving: Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	Should I...? Posted : 22 Sep, 2010 05:49 AM Reading back my post, I think it sounds too harsh and therefore I continue a bit. Piano.... you stike me as a wonderful person. And most of all a serious christian. I have always enjoyed your posts and when you are making fun in your posts, it is fun with a capital F But sweetie you are too insecure about yourself.....there is no such thing as a perfect post or a perfect exchange of email. In fact, it is all about browsing around somebody. Some men are very greedy. There are so many women on this site, they are afraid that while talking to one, they might lose the opportunity to bump into a better one..... be alerted when men are within a short period actively mailing you. They are suckeling you out and then move on to the next one. They might even come back when after a while they have found you to be, after all, the best. But most of all I want to stress that you deverve so much better than somebody who keeps hanging you on..... And I once said this, and I am going to repeat it. If you liked this one a lot and it was not meant to be...... then just imagine what G_d has set apart for you! :waving::waving: Post Reply

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