Author	Thread: Perhaps a touchy subject
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 10 Aug, 2010 12:42 PM Fellas I wanna know your thoughts. I was doing some random thinking, and I wondered how many men would date a woman that is pregnant? Post Reply
View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 13 Aug, 2010 10:03 AM It's always amazing to me how many people say what they won't do from a viewpoint that has been unaffected by life's ups and downs. A pregnant woman 'status' is so fragile that she is no longer the person she was before she became pregnant and will be after? Why is there an assumption that she needs to get closer to God, when as many have acknowledged, there are many different circumstances? Let's say she did commit fornication. She asks God for forgiveness and renounces the spirit of lust that caused her to succumb. Why does she need to spend her pregnancy getting closer to God anymore than it is mandated for any of the rest to do? What many have said is your opinion, which of course is your right, but the judgmental tone behind the statements are a little vexing. You all are young and I pray that your first marriage is your last and that you never have to face a second marriage with children and the challenges that that situation brings. Hopefully, with some life experience, some compassion for others who have found themselves widows/widowers, divorc�e's from marriages with unfaithful spouses, etc...will become part of your character. I am soooo glad the mature men I meet, have the exact opposite viewpoint. :rocknroll: Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 14 Aug, 2010 08:37 AM Baby Girl I hear what your saying, we need to show all people the love of God, and grace, but I cant expect all women who never had children to be willing to help me bare my burden, if they are unwilling they are not ready. I pose a question however. Would you work someone elses job without pay? The answer maybe yes, but most wont, or cant. A woman who is pregnant and single is a bit of a complicated cirumstance. All three of my children were born by the same woman 2/3 of those pregancys were nightmares. The other wasnt as bad. But I could bare them easier because 1, I helped 2, I could enjoy the benifits that come along with pregnancy, where as a single man cant if he wants to stay pure, plus a single man who has never had kids may not want to deal with the toll or consequences that happen to a woman after child birth. The raging hormones may be to much for an unseasoned newcomer. As for me, I dont put God's blessings in a box, but I do have three lil ones full time to be concerned about. :purpleangel: Post Reply
View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 15 Aug, 2010 10:14 AM I hear you as well Rabbit. Don't get me wrong, I understand not wanting to take on more than you signed up for. Just don't count everyone out. There are ppl who are not afraid of the responsibility that a ready made family brings and for different reasons welcome the burden of it. Example. The 45 yr old guy I am talking to now lived a wild life in his youth. He did a 8 year stint in prison (I love the reformed gangstas! :rocknroll:), and had 3 children with 3 different women. They are grown now. He was not in their lives except for small amounts of time widely spaced out. He deeply regrets his behavior and is on the Lord's side now. As he tries to repair the relationships with his own, he relishes being able to impart wisdom into mine. He has talked to my son about what to do when bullies are bothering him and to my daughter about how to keep herself during these teens years she's in the middle of. He has made a awesome impact on them and sees it as his second chance to get it right. Rabbit, the woman God has for you will love your children as if she gave birth to them herself. Pregnant women included. :dancingp: Post Reply
View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 15 Aug, 2010 10:40 AM Ooooooooooookaaaaaaaaay here it is the response you could answer any question with: It depends on the situation :( Forget that, since when did it become not ok to draw a line and so "no I'm not gonna put up with that"? At some point or another there are things we just have to live with and it is by no means fair or reasonable to expect or need other people to live with it too. Deal with it. Post Reply
View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 15 Aug, 2010 11:01 AM Replace 'other people' with 'everybody'. Some people will and they are exceptional. That rant wasn't directed at anybody in particular, just me being particularly hypersensative about people not accepting responsibility for their actions by changing their actions. Lately I'm becoming more and more aware of the victim based society we live in that is raising a bunch of 20-30 year old children who blame everything and everyone but themselves for how they feel and take no action to change. Done ranting. Post Reply
View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 15 Aug, 2010 11:38 AM Brandon, you claim it's not directed at anyone but, its hard for me to believe that your super long 'okay' wasn't directed at what I just said. No one is making an excuse for anything. We all come into the faith with a past. Nothing can be done once you come into the knowledge of Christ and into the light except to ask for forgiveness and rectify your wrongs if you can. Post Reply
View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 15 Aug, 2010 11:56 AM Please don't get me wrong. I am a advocate for ppl being able to choose what they want in a mate without being harassed about their choices, whatever they may be. I took exception to the nasty, judgmental, holier than though comments and suggestions about what a pregnant woman should and shouldn't be doing. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 15 Aug, 2010 12:22 PM Such is Grace, undeserved agape love and mercy. You cant demand grace of people, it's an act of free will. No one is asking anyone to take on more burden than a person is willing, but who will stand in the gap for those of us who are broken? Post Reply
View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 15 Aug, 2010 01:45 PM You're right, Rabbit. You can't demand grace from anyone, but they can be told about themselves. Usually it takes folk to keep living and for them or someone they love to be in the situation before circumstances suddenly become understandable. Who will stand in the gap? I got chu. Post Reply
springrose10 View Profile History	Perhaps a touchy subject Posted : 15 Aug, 2010 02:33 PM Okay. I've tried really hard to stay out of the guys forum, but I think it is time for a story. I became a widow when my daughter was 4. I was flabbergasted at the way people who didn't know me treated me, especially the school system. Teachers would talk down to me and were surprised when I told them I had a college degree. School administrators were always trying to "help" me get financial aid no matter how many times I told them we didn't qualify. When my daughter started having difficulties with homework the teachers said that it was because I wasn't spending enough time with her - not that she had a learning disability. I had to change school districts to where people I knew personally were on the school board before I could get my daughter help. My experience was that as soon as someone asked "Is there a father?" and I said "No." their very facial expression changed. People started treating me like I killed my husband, not nursed him everyday for 9 months. I was not a single mom because I was immoral or failed to be a good wife. I was not a single mom by choice. Another thought is how many fallen soldiers have left pregnant wives. They are not only not responsible for their singleness. They actually sacrificed their family for our freedoms. If you don't want to raise a child that is not your sperm - DON'T! Please don't. That child will sense that they are unloved - the worse curse in the world. However, PLEASE do not automatically assume a women is pregnant and single my her own bad choices. That is not agape love. It is OK if you don't want to date her. If you have a negative bias, please DON'T. The point I'm trying to make is just don't immediately condemn her. Even if you don't want to date her, she could make a really good friend, and/or God may want to use you to minister in her life. You guys all have big hearts. I don't think any of you intended to sound judgmental...I think you just didn't carry your thought processes to how your thoughts might effect innocent people. And, with my daughter having 10% of her graduating class pregnant, I also understand some of the frustrations you guys are expressing. Just... well, do unto others. Rose Post Reply

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