Author	Thread: Why do men cheat?
Admin	Why do men cheat? Posted : 24 Jul, 2010 04:46 PM I know. I know. You all are upstanding Christian men who would never consider/do such a thing. :-) It can come from your own experience (if there is anyone that transparent and brave), what you've picked up from locker room talk, friends, family, etc... Maybe you were tempted to cheat, but didn't. What was that reason(s)? We women talk about it amongst ourselves about what WE THINK the reasons are. Enlighten us! Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do men cheat? Posted : 25 Jul, 2010 12:00 PM Agreed. However I don't think the incident skinny shared matches those parameters. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do men cheat? Posted : 26 Jul, 2010 05:34 AM Brandon, explain. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do men cheat? Posted : 26 Jul, 2010 08:09 AM Because it was under extreme duress and at no point did he intentionally hurt her. With all due respect to her and skinny, I don't think he was fooling her as much as she was fooling herself. Jealous people are blind, irrational, and unwittingly selfish. And with jealous or clingy or needy people it takes a lot of patience and understanding. But with the death of a loved one it's just plain unreasonable to expect the high maintainence that comes with people that don't understand. Cheating is more intentional and deceptive, neither of which I saw in skinny's case. Just my opinion though. Also @skinny- I apologize for that glib remark I made over such a bad situation and circumstance. My bad. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do men cheat? Posted : 26 Jul, 2010 08:09 AM Because it was under extreme duress and at no point did he intentionally hurt her. With all due respect to her and skinny, I don't think he was fooling her as much as she was fooling herself. Jealous people are blind, irrational, and unwittingly selfish. And with jealous or clingy or needy people it takes a lot of patience and understanding. But with the death of a loved one it's just plain unreasonable to expect the high maintainence that comes with people that don't understand. Cheating is more intentional and deceptive, neither of which I saw in skinny's case. Just my opinion though. Also @skinny- I apologize for that glib remark I made over such a bad situation and circumstance. My bad. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do men cheat? Posted : 26 Jul, 2010 10:34 AM Okay. I understand your reasoning to an extent. So it isn't cheating if you are in a highly stressful situation and you give in to the heat of the moment, versus premeditation? What would you call that if not cheating? Would that situation be excusable if your girlfriend/wife gave highly stressed/'I succombed to the heat of the moment'? I'm not asking smart-aleked, for real questions. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do men cheat? Posted : 26 Jul, 2010 11:26 AM It's pretty easy to tell what an excuse is and what is legit. When is it cheating is different from Why do people cheat. I mean I just don't really have an answer for that. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do men cheat? Posted : 26 Jul, 2010 12:40 PM Yeah, I did recognize that the conversation had evolved and that my questions were slightly off topic, but I think relevent. There could be an issue if a couple has 2 different ideas about what faithfulness is. I have always thought of cheating as self-explanatory with no acceptable, circumstancial or situational excuse, so I just found it interesting that another viewpoint is that there are levels or bogus vs legit excuses. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Why do men cheat? Posted : 26 Jul, 2010 02:06 PM Murder/Manslaughter Adultery/? Premeditation does make a difference I think. Cheating on your "partner" on accident? Don't think it's any better...but...I guess if it was me I could be a little more forgiving if someone accidentally cheated on me...not sure what I would do about it, but it would be easier to forgive them... :peace::peace: Post Reply
Elimelech View Profile History	Why do men cheat? Posted : 26 Jul, 2010 06:37 PM Sure. I "accidentally" slipped some parts of my body into... you know the deal. You are kidding me arent you? One single question: What is our measure? Is our measure human one? Or do we ask our Creator what he deems a proper approach of measurement? Jesus - not few of us call him our "Lord", some maybe even their commander - this Jesus said that cheating begins in the heart. He tells us men: If you just look at a woman to lust after her, you HAVE committed adultery in your heart. (Mt 5,28 -> sermon on the mount) So again: How do we measure? You blame the woman who dresses like a professional? Maybe you even blame your God and creator because he gave you the sex drive? That is what the first man ever, Adam, already did. Read the 3rd chapter of your bible... Adam speaks up right into the face of God: "Hey, the wife YOU gave me made me do this! (-> so it is your own fault, God.) Very ugly feature: rejection of accountability. Remember Bill Clinton? I cannot remember anything about his politics, what he said or did. But I remember him being an irresponsible wimp in public hearing. He cheated... And then he humiliated his wife like that. So what is it that makes a Man cheat? In my opinion it is exactly the same thing that makes a woman cheat: hardheartedness. There is only one sin against your own body. And that is adultery. (see 1.Cor. 6,18 KJV -> Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.- - Another verse that helps me understanding how God thinks about this: "Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid." -> 1Cor6,15 KJV) To me the most important question is: Who is my lord? Who is mounting my measuring? Who is the way, the truth and the life? Am I? Is it some psychoanalyst, telling me how my mother mistreated me or how my father made me do things? I am convinced that very often we, dealing with this subject, mix things up dearly. This is NOT about punishment or seeking the guilty ones for judgement. This is standing face to face with our Father - in contrast to Adam! - confessing, being forgiven - and getting able to be healed and freed from all injustice and especially our evil conscience in Jesus, who already took our whole sentence on him. If I do not accept the verdict God pronounced, because I use excuses, I will not step out into the light of justification and will not be delivered from my evil conscience - in worst case for the rest of my life. (This lightless life remembers me of Gollum in LOTR). And this means that the lies of Satan render me paralyzed. Thats what he wants the warriors of Christ to be. Impotent and hopeless. Why do humans cheat? I guess they just believe in lies. (He/She is better than my partner, better match, more available, more romantic, more understanding, more giving, better looking blablabla). And I guess they premeditatedly forget (or do not want to remember) the truth of God, what he says, what he is. Let us remember - let us remind! Increase the peace! Thilo Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do men cheat? Posted : 26 Jul, 2010 06:59 PM Elimelech is right on the money - Cheating is cheating, whether premeditated or not! That has nothing to do with it. Let's not make excuses for ourselves. The bible says in Proverbs chapter 23 verse 7, �As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.� "Only rape is not cheating. Post Reply

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