Author	Thread: fat girls
aurora846 View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 3 Jul, 2010 09:30 PM So, heres where the awkwardness begins for all you boys! *WOOT!* So, i keep wondering if guys are really just generally turned off by girls who are overweight? im not skinny, granted, God made me skinny boned so I should be thin, but because of life instinces I began to eat my feelings and emotions. Now, due to Gods grace and love I am working it out and am working on losing weight. But I still have guys say, "Youre so awesome, if you were thinner, or in great shape I would date you". That really sucks to hear, but whatever that makes them look stupid not me. But seriuosly, are guys so shallow that they wont even look at a bigger girl twice? I mean, im overweight but am pretty good lookin and have a really great personality so why do guys keep over looking me?> Just wondering... Sierra Post Reply
View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 5 Jul, 2010 09:12 AM Fat is a good color on horses and dogs. (just a old saying) To answer your question; If weight is important to a man he should keep himself trim and in shape. This I believe gives him the right to pass up a overweight lady for romantic pursuits. On the other hand if a man is over weight himself, you would think he would be accepting of weight. But don't feel bad, most women want a 6 foot tall, handsome, young, wealthy man. I am sure I have been passed over for one or all of these catagories. In the last year that I have been on dating sites I have not had one date ever! And I don't consider 5'8" to short; yes, I would like to be taller. I am not bad looking, but apparently you need to be model material to get any attention. Yes, 51 might be to old for most, but I stay more active than most 30 year old women. I am not rich, but not exactly dirt poor either. I am apparently "not enough of what ever" So don't feel like weight is the only issue. You should feel good; I can't change my height, age or looks, but you have something you CAN change! And if you don't want to change it, then you better start looking at over weight men or old guys like me ...lol Of course if you did pick me, you would be so busy trying to keep up that the weight would just melt off. Then you would dump me for a younger guy...I just can't win!...LOL! Best wishes to you Post Reply
LincolnAdams View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 5 Jul, 2010 09:56 AM stormcountry: I live in NYC so that might have a lot to do with it. It could be in more urban areas people tend to be less forgiving of the bulge than in more rural places, but that's just my guess. My suggestion, go visit Alabama. Southern fried cooking tends to provide a more balanced playing field. :winksmile: Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 5 Jul, 2010 11:38 AM For me it's a bit confusing. I would not feel comfortable dating an obese person. Over-weight is a loose term and I wouldn't have a problem dating someone who was just "over-weight" depending on the degree. If God brought a girl to my attention that was perfect for me, yet overweight, or if I met someone that was overweight but working on it, then I could accept it, but I would not go looking there for several reasons, all of them depending on the degree of "over-weightness", and all of them with the disclaimer "unless God gives me a phone call". 1. Not a good indicator of self-control. That is a serious issue to me. I know that some instances are unavoidable, but most are not. 2. I feel like people should find someone like them, anything else opens the door for jealousy/envy. Not in every case, but it does quite a bit. Every time I might have to talk to a more attractive girl she may become hurt or jealous, and that shows either a lot of mistrust or a lot of insecurity. That goes the other way too. I would not marry a super model because it may inspire the same feelings in me down the road. I can't see the future. 3. I am a pretty active person, and I would not want to marry someone I would feel bad about leaving behind every time I wanted to do something, and I would not be very happy for very long ignoring my hobbies. Kind of a catch 22. I know marriage isn't about doing everything together, but some common ground goes a long way for a lasting marriage. I guess the bottom-line is I want to avoid every possible problem with the person I marry. If she's perfect for me in every other way except weight, then I'd have no problem. I could be happy with her. That said, just because someone is over-weight and I don't want to marry them, doesn't mean I don't love them or do not have a christian attitude toward them. I just don't want to marry them. It's pretty simple. I do not have to marry someone I'm not attracted to just because they think I should. (and real attraction is a lot deeper than just physical) :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 5 Jul, 2010 04:09 PM Society in general puts a lot of pressure on women to be thin. Men in general put a lot of pressure on women to be thin. Women in general put a lot of pressure on themselves and each other to be thin. That's a lot of pressure coming from multiple sides. Everyone has their own preferences and likes and dislikes. Everyone has their own definition of what "fat" is. The only advice I can offer you is to continue to live healthy, eat right and exercise, and above all be true to God and His will for you and be happy with the person you are -- flaws and all. Post Reply
Elisa View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 5 Jul, 2010 10:09 PM Hi Sierra, You bring up some very interesting points and did start a lively conversation. So, to build on someone else's half a cent with my own.... Last year I decided to get healthy. Whew, who knew that could be so much work. Exercise and me....well, it should be a four letter word. But, have to try things at least once. I started walking and eating healthy. Then came the marathons. My first marathon, some spandex sweetie girls looked me up and down and said I had no business being in it. It was for serious runners only. I couldn't help but burst out . Me? Run a marathon? Are you kidding? The would find my dead, lifeless body roasting in the sun WAY before the end. However, by jingie, I can walk. In 6 months I had lost more weight than one of those girls and could probably have carried her piggy back without noticing she was there. But...not all folks are like that. I now participate regularly with a local running club. I walk, they run, we all have fun. They are so welcoming and accepting and have no problem with my size or speed. So what does this have to do with the original post? Well, at first I was tentative. When the boy at the running store refused to fit me for running shoes because I was too fat I simply left, found another store, and figured it out myself. Nowdays, I am a regular at a new local running store. Darn tennis wear out way too quickly and who knew special socks kept feet from getting blisters? I walk in as confident as you please. It helps that they are just as sweet as can be, but that really doesn't matter. You see, I can walk into any athletic store I want and pity the poor person who tries to intimidate or look down on me. The funny thing is, I even went back to that same store with the little snit. He started in with his attitude and I stood my ground. He fit me with a great pair of shoes, very humbly I might add. I then walked out and left them....and went to my regular store and bought. I do NOT need their nonsense...but had a point to prove. As was pointed out...it is all about self-confidence. I know I am the largest person in the running club and at most of the marathons. I also know I will be finishing, last of course, but still finishing when many of the others have to be picked up and carried in after they collapse/quit/get hurt. The same goes for relationships and work. I am who I am. Take it or leave it. As also mentioned, I am God's child, just as you are. So if you want to be healthy...great, go for it. But you are who you are and proud of it. Keep your head up and get out there girl. And to use an old adage....fake it til you make it. Pretend you have that self-confidence and you will be surprised how quickly it develops. Blessings, Elisa Post Reply
Nkatty View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 6 Jul, 2010 02:11 AM I am wat u would describe as thin.....an wen i saw this thread i got to remember a guy telling me he would hav considered dating me if i was abit more thicker.....well.....that just made me more certain he wasnt my type of man lol.....cause i am who i am....an someone who loves me will accept me as i am...however thin i look! Post Reply
klmartin62 View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 6 Jul, 2010 04:07 AM I wasn't going to get too involved in this discussion because people will be offended, but there are a few things that need to be said here. First, if someone is judging you by your looks, it should be telling you a lot about their walk. A real Christian will see the real you and not let his flesh dictate who he is interested in. Second, the most beautiful women I have ever seen have all been different ages, sizes, shapes, and colors. They are the ones who you can see Jesus in. There is nothing like seeing the love of the Lord pouring out of someone. That is true beauty. Much love, Leon Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 6 Jul, 2010 08:44 AM A lot of people say that if someone doesn't like you for you then forget about them....right? It has also been said that a true Christian wouldn't allow the issue of weight to get in the way....how real is this??? We are all humans and we suffer and fall short all the time! I know there are a few Christian and non-christians that are attracted to overweight individuals but I think the majoirty no matter what your beliefs is looking only at the physically fit! I mean even in some of these post negative comments have been made by Christians about overweight people and who they should and shouldn't be attracted to. Just because I'm over weight I am supposed to be attracted to an overweight person!! That's a crazy statement! I have been attracted to some larger ladies but I've also been attracted to smaller women and don't feel like I shouldn't persue them simply becasue I'm fat! nothing bothers me more than when someone tries to suggest that I date someone extremely large just because I'm a bigger guy! As was stated before...I have seen several smaller guys with larger women but never have I seen a smaller woman with a larger guy. Ladies?? If as Christians we are going to suggest that based on weight certain types of people should and/or shouldn't be together what kind of example is that to the world??? The world tells us that fat people can only be with fat people and that thinner people should be with thinner people. Christian or not Christian I have never had a thinner girl show any interest in me except for one exception and she wasn't a Christian! I don't eat all the time...I eat healthier and less amounts than my thin brother...I'm more active than my thin brother....just becasue I'm fat doesn't mean that I sit at home all the time watching cooking shows, drooling over what's on the TV while ramming chips down my throat chugging pop after pop! I guess I'm feeling some styreotyping of fat people from both the world and now from fellow believers in Christ. What gives??? Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 6 Jul, 2010 12:07 PM Don't know if you're talking about my post or not, but those were my just views. I'm not advocating them for everyone. It's my opinion. I just think that it's easier for people to stay together when they are equal. I'm not saying it can never work in any other situation, and I'm not saying attraction is purely physical. Everyone is attracted to different things in different people, I just think people that are looking to spend their lives together need to be attracted to each other in as many ways as possible. :peace::peace: Post Reply
aurora846 View Profile History	fat girls Posted : 6 Jul, 2010 07:26 PM i appreciate all the input. I know for me, I dont want to date a HUGE guy. Which is a part of ther eason I am working so hard to drop poundage. Ive been cutting my food, jogging and playing soccer again. I am also a serious musician and I want to be taken seriously. but being oveweight it looks as tho you lack self control (which was said earlier) and u dont care about yourself. Im taking the steps I persoanlly need to. Its a double standard to want a healthy, in shape guy when I am not. I want a great sex life somday and who wants 50 extra pounds flapping around? Seriuosly, no one...just sayin. Its just hard when you meet a gr8 guy and you dont want to be like, "Hi im sierra, dont worry im losing weight". thats the sucky part. Post Reply

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