Author	Thread: Practical applications of dating principles?
Tulip89 View Profile History	Practical applications of dating principles? Posted : 20 May, 2010 04:42 PM I'm interested to see how other guys feel about this, but I feel like growing up, I was taught solid principles of biblical masculinity. Robert Lewis sums it up well, saying men should lead courageously, reject passivity, accept responsibility, and seek the greater reward. Since a woman of God is going to be drawn to a strong man of God, it makes sense that displaying those characteristics would be the best way to attract women. Where I feel the church fell behind was in teaching me what any of that really meant and how to successfully apply it. Just like reading scripture, if you can't interpret and apply the principles of biblical masculinity well, knowing them in your head doesn't do you much good. I spent years convinced that being a super nice guy would pay off in the end, not realizing that I was being incredibly passive and trying to manipulate women into liking me by being as nice as I was. Was it anyone from my church or campus ministry that taught me differently? No. It was non-Christian guys who basically told me, "This is how you behave like a guy who women really want." I had to modify some of it to fit Christian dating, but everything I heard from them was way more usable than what I have ever been taught in the Church. You would think it was all skeezy stuff to trick girls into hopping in bed with them, but really it turned out to be a lot of stuff about inner confidence and not seeking the approval of others. Am I the only one who didn't get much useful instruction from the Church or my parents, or is this a more widespread problem? Post Reply
IFBJack View Profile History	Practical applications of dating principles? Posted : 21 May, 2010 02:40 PM No I was saying the opposite, I agree with you and I offered an explanation as to why the situation you described in many churches has come to be. I was raised to be a leader from the very beginning and I had a great guidence from both my parents. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Practical applications of dating principles? Posted : 21 May, 2010 03:25 PM That's excellent. It's rare that both parents are actively involved with raising their son to be a strong man of God. Too often I see parents in the Church afraid their children will become trouble makers, so they try to shelter them and raise them to be scared of the world. Post Reply
Prvbs31lady View Profile History	Practical applications of dating principles? Posted : 22 May, 2010 07:00 AM Hello Tulip and Everyone, Thanks for starting such a relavent and important discussion. I think when one just glances at the headlines of any paper or magazine today, there is little doubt that these are troubling days. The church, like the world community can no longer afford to lie back passively and think that right thoughts and actions will occur naturally, for the day is "evil". That is unfortunately, the underlining agenda and it is rapidly moving forth wherever a void exists of no Christian principles or voice. Therefore, write your book and speak out and educate, for time is short. Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	Practical applications of dating principles? Posted : 22 May, 2010 07:48 AM I agree, do not wait with publishing your book until you have grasped 100% wisdom Tulip. After all, you can always write a volume II right? As to the problem you mentioned, I think the church has in general failed to lead christians into the Holy Ghost. There is theology, doctrine and morals but there is no active coaching and guiding into a personal relationship with Jesus/Holy Ghost/God. (to me there is a vast difference in preaching, teaching and coaching) I think it is basically because many churches actually cannot profile a christian man/woman... unless they go in extremes (and cliches) like no premarital sex, no drugs, no divorce etc etc. THe last couple of decades, the Church has been accused to interfere and dictate the lives of their members. And also too many christians have fought for freedom in their own decisions. I remember very well the times where young christians left their church to find their way into the world. Millions just ignored what their leaders said about premarital sex, drugs, and God�s purpose with marriage. The consequence of their actions (only) now becomes very visible....Pastoral counseling has proved it: christians are totally lost in the world and cannot find their path alone. And now they start to insist on guidance and coaching from their church and are willing to admit that they need it very much. I feel the times are changing for the better. Young, recently graduated pastors do have a vision and they are ready to coach again... this time it is not only needed but also appreciated and young christians are listening again to their church leaders. Post Reply
View Profile History	Practical applications of dating principles? Posted : 23 May, 2010 01:18 PM I have done this. For moral reasons why not double date.Go out in small groups. This way you may feel more comfortable and may be more open. I love small goups, my x wife would have me take her girl friends out to cedar point/ amusement park in ohio and other fun things. In a small group I have a lot more fun. With a few christian friends dating can be fun. it takes away the personal closeness for 2 people and brings out a group controled idea. Post Reply
View Profile History	Practical applications of dating principles? Posted : 26 May, 2010 03:10 PM More of this does need to be talked about in and taught in church along with sex. Mark driscoll is really good about doing this in his Mars hill church in washington. But J. Piper's book on "biblical manhood and womanhood" is excellent, and J. MacArthurs on "what's the difference". or "sex and the supremacy of christ"' "so you're serious about getting married. " Stuart scott's book on "exemplary husband", martha peace's book on "excellent wife". Elisabeth elliot's book on "Marks of a Man," and "let me be a woman. ' are all very excellent books on masculinity and femininity. I hope some of these are beneficial!!! Rachel Post Reply

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