Author	Thread: DIVORCED MEN-FEAR OF INTIMACY?
LUVmyJESUS View Profile History	DIVORCED MEN-FEAR OF INTIMACY? Posted : 9 May, 2010 07:29 AM I've seen many men distraught from divorce. They are confident men on the outside.. but once you get to know them.. you can see the insecurities. (NO judgement here.. women have this issue too... but I need help understanding from a man's point of view). Unfortunately, sometimes (in my opinion) insecurities lead to behavior that makes it difficult for a woman to handle. In particular... womanizing, commenting about other women's bodies, gawking at them when they are with you, even going as far to say that they would like to"doink" them...PLEASE! I met a man once who I felt so compatible with... felt that God placed in my heart to understand HIM specifically. We dated for 8 mths long distance. He made great effort...travelled 1200 miles 4 times, I travelled once. We just couldn't seem to let go of eachother... but then spent a week long vacation together... and this behavior (which I don't know of one single female friend who would have handled it as well as I did)... ruined our relationship. He seemed "hurt" that I had issues about it. Yet... he never really gave ME compliments... but always set me up to compliment HIM.. which I did freely because thats how I am. While we were on vacation.. he got on the internet to start looking again. We never really could talk this out. We never had a volitile conversation..nothing dramatic. I expressed how I felt.. he kept saying "give him time"... but obviously he wanted to move on and date so I suggested he do what he had to do. I wanted a closure conversation because we never had one... he has totally CLOSED off from me... obviously wants NO communication and I will "ladylike" honor his wishes. We had such a good time... even after the occurrence during our vacation. He had told me he was falling in love..scared because its the first time since his divorce of 3 yrs. (married 23). I can't believe it ended like that...no closure... and yet we really had nothing that traumatic happen. CAN A MAN PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS BEHAVIOR TO ME... AND ENLIGHTEN ME ON PERHAPS SOMETHING I COULD LEARN ABOUT MYSELF! I keep it all in prayer... always have... can't stand to see a hurting soul... try to love with the love of Jesus. THANKS FOR YOUR HELP!!! Post Reply
man8bible View Profile History	DIVORCED MEN-FEAR OF INTIMACY? Posted : 11 Aug, 2010 10:36 AM Was looking at your profile and stopped to read this part and a few of the responses...all of which spoke a degree of truth to the situation..... Could be wrong, but I think the greater truth is that you were duped by a man who had no intention of following through to form a healthy Christian relationship. I do not know the facts of his previous life or marriage, but the telltale signs of his character weakness and lack of respect and honor for you and women in general give rise to the suspicion that even in his 23 year marriage there was likely a great deal of unhealthy communication. Given his words and action I can surmise that his marriage was held together by a co-dependent relationship that had many unhealthy foundation stones...the greatest of these were his inability and unwillingness to face his own immaturity and wounds in order to come to a place where he could genuinely love someone. I feel saddened by the damage that he may have done to his now ex- wife and the obvious damage that he continues to do to himself. I realize that even men in his position have wonderful qualities and gifts granted by God, but their strongest desires are not to bring themselves into the light, but rather to continue to live a life in the shadows while they verbally pay lip service to the light. I am very glad that you were able to be delivered from that situation and can now be free to pursue relationship in the light and health that God has reserved for you. Praise God ! I think that it is important to continue to pray for that mabn's dliverance from his walk in darkness...and we know that the Lord would dearly love to deliver him. We can live in hope for that... You are vibrant, lovely and a woman who desires the right thigs in and before the Lord..God is so happy and pleased to honor that and you. Your Servant In Christ, Always MCM Post Reply
OfCatholicFaith View Profile History	DIVORCED MEN-FEAR OF INTIMACY? Posted : 11 Nov, 2010 06:04 AM This applies to Woman too. when I say the following. In the past, w/ bad relationships, I went right back out and started dating right away. This can be bad though, because in this stage our standards have dropped, and someone who nurtures, and helps us forget our pain, just might end up a "Florence Nightingale." And we really aren't clearly evaluating compatibility. Just that she currently fills our needs. And these lower standards might get you an ABUSIVE gal, (Yes Gals can be abusive) So what is the fear? Approach with caution, for them -and yourself. So guys won't know what they want after the divorce, like "I used to like that in a woman.." Now it reminds them of their Ex. SO they avoid it. Yeah, not fair to the rest of the gals, especially when it is NOT a fault, but a "quality" in a person. The opposite happens of course too. Looking for a clone of your Ex. All of these things are to be dealt with perhaps, but this is what you will get sometimes in a man, that seems to not have a fear of intimacy. Might be better to not have the other things to deal with, which I feel are far more dangerous to you, than the just being a little cautious. PRAY PRAY PRAY. Ask Jesus to keep everyone away whom isn't right for you. That is one prayer request that is answered. ;) (Disclaimer: This does not apply to me after the first statement) Post Reply
View Profile History	DIVORCED MEN-FEAR OF INTIMACY? Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 03:52 AM It is goog to hear it from a man. Post Reply
View Profile History	DIVORCED MEN-FEAR OF INTIMACY? Posted : 2 Dec, 2011 10:18 AM ITs hard for both - but OUR GOD IS THE GOD OF THE IMPOSSIBLE AND THE RESTORE OF BRONES DREAMS AND MAKE THEM A REALITY FOR HIS NAME SAKE! IM ONE WHO SHARE AS U A LIFE EXPERIANCE AND IM GRATEFULL I WEN T TUE MUCH FOR MY LATTER END AS HE PROMISE WILL BEMORE BLESSED THAN MY BEGINNING .... HIS NAME IS WONDEFUL AND WOTHY TO BE PRAISED....:yay: Post Reply

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